Leadership By Example

Parshas Emor

Posted on April 30, 2021 (5781) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

 

And HASHEM said to Moshe: ‘Say to the Kohanim, the sons of Aaron, and you shall say to them: “To a (dead) person he shall not become impure among his people…”‘ (Vayikra 21:1

Say to the Kohanim…and you shall say to them: The Torah uses the double expression of “say” followed by “and you shall say” to caution the adults with regard to the minors. (Rashi)

The Kohanim-The Priestly cast are to play an important role as living examples of holiness and purity for the entire nations. Where is the manual for success in relating this sublime message from one generation to the next?

 

Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetsky ztl. Had made an important distinction between two important words in the realm of raising children; Chinuch – Education and Hashpah – Influence. Education is a form of direct teaching. The teacher fills up the cup of the child with valuable information and important knowledge. Hashpah comes from a root word Shefa which means abundance. Hashpah is when he/she fills ones cup and what overflows washes over and influences those in one’s immediate surroundings. Which is most effective?

 

I have had many parents brag to me over the years, “Rabbi, I push my children!” They think I will be impressed. While I am sure they mean well, my response is, “Don’t push! Pull!” I explain, “When someone honks their horn behind you, do you feel like going faster or slower? However, when a car goes racing by, we all have an urge to speed up. Teach your child primarily by example!

 

Children are studying their parents in ways the parents may never imagine and they will naturally imitate their behavior. One day I opened the food cabinet at home and an avalanche of 2-ounce applesauce snack containers came crashing down. As I gazed at the pileup on the floor below a great truth dawned upon me, “The applesauce doesn’t fall far from the pantry!”

 

The parents who unfortunately talk in Shul are raising the next generation of Shul talkers. Those who remain focused on the business of Davening invariably raise children who Daven.

One clever child told his parents, “Your actions are so loud, I can’t hear what you are saying!”

 

The story is told about a principal who called a father at his work to discuss his child’s behavior. While the principal was demanding a face to face meeting the father insisted to be told the reason for the call.

So, the principal told him straight, “It seems your child has been stealing pencils from the other children in school.” The father was righteously indignant and replied to the principal, “Why in the world would my child steal pencils from the other children? I bring home all the pencils he needs from the office!”

 

One of my teachers was happily skipping home on Simchas Torah with his then young family. They were singing a lively tune to the words, “Olam Haba is a guta zach…Learning Torah is a besser zach…” (The next world is a good thing…Learning Torah is a better thing…” His four-year old daughter interrupted the parade and asked her father in all earnest, “Abba, what’s Olam Haba?”

 

He knew he had to address her question on a level she could comprehend. He asked her what the most delicious thing in the world was, thinking that if she said chocolate, then he would tell her it’s tons of chocolate and if she said marshmallows then he’d tell her how many marshmallows. She gave a most surprising answer, though. “Davening!” He asked her where she had learned that. She was not yet in school and all she said was, “Mommy!”

 

How had she learned this? He realized that after the morning rush, when all the older brothers and sisters are sent off to school the mother and daughter sit down to eat some breakfast. The mother has her coffee and a muffin and the daughter has her sweet raisin bran. Afterwards, the mother approaches a blank wall, siddur in hand and prays. The child notices the look of sublime joy on her mother’s face. Intuitively she compares it to the sweetness of the breakfast goodies and naturally concludes one experience must be far sweeter than the other. Davening must be that delicious.

 

That’s the power of Hashpa, the highest form of leadership – by example.

 

Life’s Got Rhythm

Parshas Emor

Posted on May 6, 2020 (5780) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

 

This week’s Torah reading begins with a rather detailed instruction sheet for the children of Aaron, the priests of Israel. The Torah describes for us the limitations that were placed upon them in order to guarantee that their service would be in purity and in holiness. Aspects of this instruction are still enforced today.  Those who are of the priestly clan observe them rigidly even if, in other matters, they may not be that strict.

 

I had an experience with this regarding a certain leading official in the Jewish Agency about 30 years ago. I knew the man very well and he was a person of honor and integrity, but he was an old time socialist and was not observant in any traditional sense of the word. I happened to be in Israel when another leading person in the educational department of the Jewish Agency passed away and the family asked me to say a few words at the funeral.

 

This man accompanied me to the funeral chapel, but as I was going to mount the steps, he said, “This is as far as I’m going because I am a priest, a Kohen, and I don’t go to funerals.” I looked at him somewhat quizzically because there were so many other violations of tradition that I had observed in him, but even so I was greatly impressed. And he said to me, “Don’t be so surprised; for thousands of years my family are Kohanim and I’m not going to give that up. That is a heritage that I cannot forgo.” So, that is the first part of the Torah reading.

 

The second part of the Torah reading, which also occupies a great deal of the subject matter of the entire portion, is a recounting of the calendar. It is an enumeration of the holidays, the special days of the Jewish calendar throughout the year. At first glance, one would think that these two sections of the same Torah reading really have no intrinsic connection one with the other. They deal with far different subjects and have a different tone and mood to their words. But again, I feel that that is only a superficial view. Upon deeper examination we will see a common thread that runs thru not only these two subjects but thru all subjects in the Torah as well.

 

The Torah represents for us constancy. It establishes a regular rhythm in our life. It is why we have so many commandments that we can, and should, fulfill day in and day out under all circumstances and conditions. It is this very constancy, the repetitiveness that the Torah imposes upon us that builds within us the holiness of spirit and is the strength of our tradition.

 

The fact is it is not a one-day-a-week or three-days-a-year holiday for the Jewish people, but that every day counts and has its importance. Daily, one is obligated to do the will of one’s creator. All of this gives a rhythm to our lives, makes life meaningful, with a specific direction for the time that we are here on earth.

The holidays themselves are the rhythm of the Jewish calendar year. We just finished Pesach and we are coming to Shavuot and then after Shavuot there comes the period of mourning, then after that the High Holy days, the holiday of Sukkot, then Hanukkah, et cetera. It is that rhythm of life that invests every holiday and allows the holiday to live within us even when its days have passed. Essentially, every day is Pesach and every day is Shavuot, and every day can be Yom Ha-Kippurim. And this is the constancy regarding the laws for the priests as well, that every day they are reminded who they are. Every day they are bound by the restrictions, discipline and nobility that the Torah ordained for them.

 

So, that is the thread of consistency that binds all these disparate subjects together. The Torah preaches consistency, regularity, habitual behavior, and the idea that life is one rhythm, like a river flowing, not to be segmented into different emotional waves depending upon one’s mood and upon external conditions.

 

Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Berel Wein

 

Life’s Got Rhythm

Parshas Emor

Posted on May 6, 2020 (5780) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

 

This week’s Torah reading begins with a rather detailed instruction sheet for the children of Aaron, the priests of Israel. The Torah describes for us the limitations that were placed upon them in order to guarantee that their service would be in purity and in holiness. Aspects of this instruction are still enforced today.  Those who are of the priestly clan observe them rigidly even if, in other matters, they may not be that strict.

 

I had an experience with this regarding a certain leading official in the Jewish Agency about 30 years ago. I knew the man very well and he was a person of honor and integrity, but he was an old time socialist and was not observant in any traditional sense of the word. I happened to be in Israel when another leading person in the educational department of the Jewish Agency passed away and the family asked me to say a few words at the funeral.

 

This man accompanied me to the funeral chapel, but as I was going to mount the steps, he said, “This is as far as I’m going because I am a priest, a Kohen, and I don’t go to funerals.” I looked at him somewhat quizzically because there were so many other violations of tradition that I had observed in him, but even so I was greatly impressed. And he said to me, “Don’t be so surprised; for thousands of years my family are Kohanim and I’m not going to give that up. That is a heritage that I cannot forgo.” So, that is the first part of the Torah reading.

 

The second part of the Torah reading, which also occupies a great deal of the subject matter of the entire portion, is a recounting of the calendar. It is an enumeration of the holidays, the special days of the Jewish calendar throughout the year. At first glance, one would think that these two sections of the same Torah reading really have no intrinsic connection one with the other. They deal with far different subjects and have a different tone and mood to their words. But again, I feel that that is only a superficial view. Upon deeper examination we will see a common thread that runs thru not only these two subjects but thru all subjects in the Torah as well.

 

The Torah represents for us constancy. It establishes a regular rhythm in our life. It is why we have so many commandments that we can, and should, fulfill day in and day out under all circumstances and conditions. It is this very constancy, the repetitiveness that the Torah imposes upon us that builds within us the holiness of spirit and is the strength of our tradition.

 

The fact is it is not a one-day-a-week or three-days-a-year holiday for the Jewish people, but that every day counts and has its importance. Daily, one is obligated to do the will of one’s creator. All of this gives a rhythm to our lives, makes life meaningful, with a specific direction for the time that we are here on earth.

The holidays themselves are the rhythm of the Jewish calendar year. We just finished Pesach and we are coming to Shavuot and then after Shavuot there comes the period of mourning, then after that the High Holy days, the holiday of Sukkot, then Hanukkah, et cetera. It is that rhythm of life that invests every holiday and allows the holiday to live within us even when its days have passed. Essentially, every day is Pesach and every day is Shavuot, and every day can be Yom Ha-Kippurim. And this is the constancy regarding the laws for the priests as well, that every day they are reminded who they are. Every day they are bound by the restrictions, discipline and nobility that the Torah ordained for them.

 

So, that is the thread of consistency that binds all these disparate subjects together. The Torah preaches consistency, regularity, habitual behavior, and the idea that life is one rhythm, like a river flowing, not to be segmented into different emotional waves depending upon one’s mood and upon external conditions.

 

Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Berel Wein