School of Soft Knocks

Parshas Vayeilech

Posted on September 25, 2025 (5786) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha| Level: Beginner

Parshas Vayelech has Moshe handing the reign of power to his beloved disciple Yehoshua, who now will grasp hold of the destiny of the Children of Israel. Moshe does not leave him without first guiding him through the difficult mission of leadership. At the end of Parshas Vayelech, (Deuteronomy 31:7), “Moshe summoned Yehoshua and said to him before the eyes of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous and do not be broken before them, for Hashem your G-d — it is he who goes before you.'”

 

The Torah does not specify what “strong and courageous” actually means. I conjured my own visions of how to be strong and courageous when dealing with a “stiff-necked” nation. It entailed exacting demands and rigid regulations. The Medrash, however, offers a totally diametric explanation.

 

TheYalkut Shimoni, a compendium of Midrashim compiled in the Middle Ages, discusses a verse in Hoshea. “Israel is but a beloved lad and in Egypt I had called them my child.” It quotes the verse in Deuteronomy 31:7, and explains the words “strong and courageous.” Moshe explained to Joshua, “this nation that I am giving you is still young kids. They are still young lads. Do not be harsh with them. Even their Creator has called them children, as it is written, (Hoshea 11:1) “Israel is but a beloved lad.”

 

Can the Midrash find no better words to translate the phrase telling Joshua to “be strong and courageous” other than be patience and understanding? In which way does forbearance show strength? How does courage translate as tolerance?

 

In the years of World War I, a young student who was fleeing the war-ravaged city of Slabodka sought refuge in Tiktin, a village near Lomza, Poland. A prodigious Torah scholar, he compensated for room and board by becoming a simple cheder teacher. He gave his lecture in a small schoolhouse, but the townsfolk were quite suspicious. There were no shouts from inside the one-room schoolhouse as it was with other teachers; the boys seemed to be listening. Rumor had it that the young man even let the children play outside for ten minutes each day in the middle of the learning session.

 

They decided to investigate. They interrupted his class one morning and were shocked. The kanchik (whip) used by every cheder-Rebbe was lying on the floor near the trash bin. Upon interrogating the children the parents learned that this radical educator never used it.

 

Outraged, the townsfolk decided to call a meeting with their Rabbi to discuss the gravity of the situation. Who knows what ideas a teacher who would not use the kanchik was imbuing in our children? They worried.

 

The local Rabbi pointed to a picture of Rabbi Isaac Elchonon Spector, the leader of Lithuanian Jewry. “Do you see that picture of the Kovno Tzadik?” He asked the townsfolk. “One day thousands of homes across the world will have this young man’s picture hanging on their walls.”

 

The elderly Rabbi was right. The young man became the leader of a generation, teacher of thousands and dean of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath. It was the beginning of, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky’s career in education.

 

Moshe, the guide and architect of Jewish leadership, was empowering his disciple with a message of guidance. The words “be strong and courageous” embodied leadership of love and understanding. One cannot talk of forbearance and patience without talking of strength and courage. But more important: one cannot show true strength and courage if he is not patient and understanding.

 

Moses’s Legacy Goes On

Parshas Netzavim Vayeilech

Posted on September 21, 2011 (5771) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

 

Moshe can no longer lead the Jewish people. He informs us that he is no longer allowed “to forth out or to come in.” He whose eyes did not dim even in death is now shorn of his superhuman powers and subject to the mortality that faces us all. At that moment Moshe does not wallow in sadness nor does he seem to review in detail his life’s achievements and the disappointments that occurred in his lifetime of greatness.

 

He expresses no regrets and voices no complaints. He does not refer to those who persecuted him, injured his pride, questioned his worth or doubted his words. Rather his whole focus is on the future of the Jewish people. He points out that their future failings will clearly lead to tragedy and defeat but never to complete destruction. He cautions them against falling into the trap of adopting new ideas and values simply for the sake of change or newness.

 

He makes it abundantly clear that the covenant of Israel with G-d and His Torah contains no escape or cancellation clauses. The bond is an eternal one. He sees the future and continues to look forward to new generations and recurring challenges. To the end he remains the leader and not the historian, the teacher and not merely the observer.

 

It is the presence of this implicit spirit of innate optimism, even in the face of known problems and Jewish failings, which characterizes Moshe’s relationship with the Jewish people and his guidance of Israel through all of its generations. That is why “there arose none like Moshe” in all of Jewish history.

 

The Torah teaches us “Vayelech Moshe” – Moshe went and walked and proceeded. Immediately thereafter the Torah records for us that Moshe said “I cannot go forth or return any longer.” So which is it? Did Moshe walk forth and proceed or did he remain housebound and passive. It is obvious that Moshe’s inability to go forth and return describes the physical limitations placed upon him on his last days on earth.

 

But “Vayelech Moshe” – Moshe’s goings and comings are the spiritual guidance and moral vision that he invested in the Jewish people that remain vital and active in all later generations of Israel even after Moshe’s passing. Leadership and inspiration is rarely judged by physical criteria.

 

Franklin Roosevelt was afflicted with polio before he rose to become the president of the United States. He certainly is to be reckoned as one of the strongest and most influential presidents in American history though he could not physically go forth or come in. If we see this truism in the life of a “regular” human being such a Roosevelt, how much more so is this obvious in the life and achievements of the superhuman Moshe.

Vayelech not only means that Moshe once went but it also implies grammatically in Hebrew that Moshe is still going forth. The Jewish people are still guided by Moshe’s Torah and teachings and his spiritual legacy continues to inspire and instruct. As long as there are Jews in the world, Moshe will continue to go forth and come into our hearts and minds.

 

Shabat shalom,

Rabbi Berel Wein

 

 

It’s Never Too Late

Parshas Netzavim

Elul / Rosh Hashanah

Posted on September 19, 2022 (5782) By Rabbi Pinchas Avruch | Series: Kol HaKollel | Level: Beginner

 

“See – I have placed before you today life and good, and death and evil…and you will choose life so you will live, you and your offspring.” (Devarim/Deuteronomy 30:15,19) As Moshe cajoles the Jewish Nation one last time – for it was the morning of the day he would die – to maintain their G-d consciousness and remain true to their covenant, he reminds them of the consequences of their decisions. At the start of the narrative Moshe made clear that day’s commitment was a renewal of the covenant of old. Why did he need to reemphasize that this essential choice between good and evil is being made “today”?

 

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (1) explains that every day we have the choice of two paths to pursue, and that day’s decision is wholly independent of the past. One who has made spiritually corrosive, unhealthy decisions throughout life can (and should) choose that today’s decisions will be growth oriented, spiritually nourishing and healthful. Likewise, one whose decisions have been spiritually productive cannot rely on past performance to guarantee future results. On any given day, the path of evil is still present as a very enticing option; every day must have an active decision to live with G-d consciousness. Further, when one has a child, the educational and instructional process, from the child’s earliest days, must be rooted in and enriched by spiritual nourishment.

 

As we approach Rosh Hashanah we are easily dejected when we recall our growth goals of the past as our limited success in meeting them over time. But we must remember who we are: “You are children to G-d, your L-rd.” (ibid 14:1) When a rebellious subject of a king desires to return to the kingdom the king may opt to punish the transgressor before restoring his citizenship. But a wayward child who returns is welcomed by his parents with open, loving arms. Our Father awaits us…it is we who must so choose.

 

Have a Good Shabbos and a Sweet, Happy and Healthy New Year!

 

(1) 1895-1986; Rosh Yeshiva/Dean of Mesivtha Tifereth Jerusalem in New York City; the leading Halachic/Jewish legal decisor of his time and one of the principal leaders of Torah Jewry through much of the last century

 

Gratitude, Jewish Style

Parshas Ki Savo

Posted on August 30, 2023 (5783) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

The gnawing cold of the winter has faded from the farmer’s memory. He watches the warm spring sun awaken the slumbering fields. He watches the young shoots sprout and bloom and the tiny buds ripen into fruit bursting with the juices of life. And his own heart also fills to bursting with the joyous surge of new vitality, the aura of irrepressible hope and promise, the sense of being blessed with gifts from the secret treasure houses of the earth. At this transcendent time of the year, the Torah instructs him to share his innermost feelings with his Creator through the performance of the mitzvah of bikurim. He is to take the first fruits of the land, bring them to the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and declare his joyous gratitude to the Master of the Universe, the Source of all goodness in the world.

 

This joyous declaration of gratitude, however, begins in a very puzzling way. It recalls the litany of tragedy and misfortune that characterizes Jewish history. It recalls the duplicitous Lavan’s attempt to destroy our forefather Jacob and the descent of Jacob and his family to Egypt. It recalls the enslavement of the fledgling Jewish nation by the cruel Egyptians and the suffering inflicted upon them until they cried out in anguish to G-d. It recalls that God heard the voices of the oppressed Jewish people, and with a great display of wonders and miracles, He liberated them from their Egyptian bondage and brought them to a land of milk and honey. What is the connection of all these memories to the simple act of thanking G-d for the first fruits of the harvest?

 

The answer to this question reveals one of the central elements in the character of the Jewish people. The Jewish farmer who has been blessed with a new harvest does not see himself as an independent individual living in the enclosed world of his own life experiences. He sees himself in the broader historical context of the Jewish people and their developing relationship with G-d. In his mind, the harvest in a small field in a remote corner of the Galilee is directly connected with cosmic events that took place hundreds or even thousands of years earlier. He sees himself as part of that continuum and the blessing he has been granted as an extension of the kindness G-d has shown the Jewish people in taking them from slavery to freedom, from misery to joy. Therefore, his expressions of gratitude must also extend to events that happened in distant times and distant places, because in reality, they are all part of one continuous pattern of divine benevolence to the Jewish people.

 

There is also a powerful symbolism in the parallel drawn between Jewish history and the annual harvest. As we celebrate the passing of the cold and dark winter and the rejuvenation of the land, we are bidden to view our history from a similar perspective. We are shown that the cold, dark winters of our people’s past also led to a springtime of rejuvenation and growth, and we must strengthen our faith in G-d and believe that our present suffering is not without purpose and not without end.

Finally, the recollection of the tragedies of our past gives added depth and meaning to our expressions of gratitude.

 

Let us for a moment imagine two young men who purchase cars at the same time. One of these young men is from a poor family. He had to struggle to make a career for himself, and he worked hard for everything he was able to accomplish. Now, after saving and scrimping, he finally has accumulated enough money to buy a brand new car. The other young man is a pampered child of rich parents. His father handed him his American Express card on the way to lunch and told him to go get himself a car. Which of these young men will derive greater pleasure from his new car? The answer is obvious.

 

Here, too, stands the Jewish farmer. He recalls the hardships and the struggles of his ancestors that brought him to this cherished plot of land in Israel, and therefore, each fruit that he plucks from the ground is immeasurably sweeter because of the memories. In this frame of mind, his expressions of gratitude to G-d go far beyond the fruits in his basket. They encompass all the unending benevolence and providence that are manifest in this incredibly precious little bundle of fruit.

 

Text Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

 

The Root Of Unhappiness

Parshas Ki Savo

Posted on September 16, 2024 (5784) By Rabbi Yochanan Zweig | Series: Rabbi Zweig on the Parsha| Level: Intermediate Beginner

“Because you did not serve Hashem, your G-d, with happiness and goodness of heart, when you had everything in abundance”(28:47)

 

The Torah attributes all of the horrific curses which will befall Bnei Yisroel to not serving Hashem with happiness. The complaint is not that we will not serve Hashem, rather, although we will serve Him, the stress is upon the fact that it will not be done with happiness.

 

Citing the Zohar, the Ramban teaches that the admonition in this week’s parsha refers to the period of the second Beis Hamikdash through its destruction and the subsequent exile.¹

 

The Talmud states that the second Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of “sinas chinam” – “baseless hatred”.² This would appear to contradict the reason offered by the Torah, that the destruction was precipitated by Bnei Yisroel’s not serving Hashem with happiness. How do we reconcile this contradiction?

 

The Torah attests to the fact that we were unhappy, even though we had everything. This is mirrored by the contemporary phenomena which finds a high percentage of depressed and disenchanted people to be those who enjoy success and high social standing. Why do people who apparently have everything that life has to offer, still exhibit a lack of happiness?

 

A person can only be truly happy if he appreciates what Hashem has given him. However, if a person is egocentric, considering himself deserved of all that he has, he will not be content by that which is already his; rather, he will be focused on those things which are not yet his, but to which he feels entitled. If a person goes through life with the attitude that everyone owes him, he will constantly be miserable, never satisfied with what he has. Furthermore, since he feels he is entitled to everything that he desires, a person who has something he desires becomes an immediate threat to him. He begins loathing that person for no reason other than the perception he maintains that the person is withholding from him an object which should rightfully be his. It is this type of loathing that the Talmud defines as baseless hatred.

 

Consequently, baseless hatred can be traced back at its inception to our lack of appreciation for what Hashem has done and continues to do for us. Therefore, sinas chinam is not a different reason than the reason offered by the Torah as to what precipitated the destruction of the Temple; it is a manifestation of being unhappy when serving Hashem.

 

 

 

The Same Voice

Parshas Ki Seitzei

Posted on August 19, 2021 (5781) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah| Level: Beginner

If a man has a wayward and rebellious son, who does not listen to his father or his mother, and they chasten him, and [he still] does not listen to them, his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, and to the gate of his place. And they shall say to the elders of his city, “This son of ours is wayward and rebellious; he does not listen to our voice; [he is] a glutton and a guzzler.” And all the men of his city shall pelt him to death with stones, and he shall die. So shall you clear out the evil from among you, and all Israel will listen and fear. (Devarim21:18-21)

 

To the under-initiated this all seems very archaic and brutal but we should know that the Talmud tells us that the preemptive execution of a wayward son never ever came to be and never will. The requirements are so narrow so as to make it almost impossible to carry out.

 

So, the giant question remains, “Why is there such a law?” An answer amongst many is: there valuable life lessons embedded therein.

Let’s look at one exemption briefly. The parents have to be able to declare that the child “did not listen to our voice”. The Talmud learns that from here we see that both parents have to speak with the same voice. It’s not likely that both have the same voice and so it’s an easy way out of the punishment option.

 

We learn from this a critical point in parenting. In order to establish that it is entirely the child’s fault and not the product of his upbringing, then both parents need to speak with the same voice. An ideal in raising children is that a child should not get a mixed message. The parents should harmoniously support one another and agree on policy.

 

In a series of classes titled, “The Ten Commandments of Parenting” I use a practical example, an everyday dynamic for parents and kids that may help us understand what happens when parents fail to agree with each other publicly. The second commandment for parents is to “have a unified front”. Don’t let anybody, not even kids weave their way in and be a wedge between parents.

 

Little Chaim comes running into the house after school. He waves quickly and casually “Hi!” to his father who’s planted there in his seat on the couch. Father stops Chaim and asks him where he’s off to in such a hurry. Chaim informs his father that he’s going to get his ball and his glove, his bat and his cleats and join the other guys out on the field.

 

Father shakes his head solemnly and reminds Chaim of their prior agreement. “Last night was your aunt’s wedding and you were up late. The deal was that tonight it would be homework, dinner and early bed!” Dad says firmly. Chaim slinks off deeply disappointed dragging his feet in protest and closing doors loudly. Five minutes later, though, that same sullen fellow goes running gleefully past his father in the other direction with all his baseball paraphernalia.

 

“Where are you going?” booms Father, amazed at the temerity of his little son. With a confident smile Chaim replies, “I asked Mom and she said it’s OK! as he scoots out. Chaim learned that the meaning of the word “NO”. from one parent is a signal to look for a softer opinion and to sharpen his manipulation skills. “NO” doesn’t mean “NO”. It means “negotiation time”. What’s so bad?!

 

There are 248 action commandments and 365 prohibitive commandments. That means that there are many more things that we ought not to do than we ought to do to perfect ourselves. Imagine you are sending your child away for a year in Israel or to summer camp. The night before you sit down and have that loving parental conversation. You have a list of “always” and “nevers” you want to impart. Which list is longer and more emphatic!?

 

The risk of not learning the power of “NO” from parents is that it leads to a greater danger. The child is not practiced in saying “NO” to himself. It takes up no time or mental energy to refrain from not doing a forbidden act, when “NO” is “NO!” When “NO” equals negotiation, then “NO” triggers thoughts that possess the whole of his being. For sure it can be learned later but it may have to be learned the hard way. It is clearly his problem to deal with but it’s not entirely his fault, if the parents are not speaking with the same voice.

 

A Measured Approach to Change

Parshas Ki Seitzei

Posted on September 9, 2022 (5782) By Mordechai Dixler | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner

Moshe (Moses) continues to enumerate in Ki Seitzei, this week’s Torah portion, the many Mitzvos (commandments) G-d gave to the Jewish people. This portion actually has the largest listing of Mitzvos of any weekly Torah reading — 74 in total.

 

Among these is the prohibition of doing business with, and even owning, faulty weights and scales. The prohibition to steal another’s property is well known (See Lev. 19:11), of course, and using inaccurate weights would seem to be just another form of stealing. However, when the Torah describes the specific prohibition of faulty weights, it goes out of its way to explicitly condemn the practice saying, “All who do these things are an abomination to G-d — all who do falsehood. (Deut. 25:16)” General theft, as severe as it is, does not carry this harsh condemnation. What is it about faulty weights that warrants this language?

 

To understand this, we should ask ourselves: how much money is stolen when a person uses a false weight? In order to fool customers he or she would only adjust the scales slightly, so as not to raise suspicion. One would probably offset the weight by no more than 10%. So if the person were selling apples for $1 per pound, but set the scale so that a “pound” was really only 9/10 of a pound, all they’ve pilfered is 10 cents per pound. Is 10 cents such a severe crime?

No, ten cents is not a huge act of theft—but that is only one purchase, of one pound of apples. After ten purchases, it’s a dollar. After a day, it’s well over $10. After a year, it’s thousands of dollars.

 

The crime of false weights and measures is so abominable because it is not simply the result of a one-time temptation. It takes obvious premeditation to alter the scales, and to decide, each and every day, to open up your shop with false weights, every sale a small act of theft. It is this unrepentant, ongoing engagement in crime that warrants the Torah’s severe condemnation.

 

We know that the reward for good deeds is greater than the punishment of bad ones. So if such is the condemnation of a persistent evil practice, one can imagine the effusive praise for one continually engaged in Mitzvos! It’s for this reason that when we seek to make positive changes in our life, its so important to undertake a small, repeating commitment. This is known in Jewish tradition as a “Kabola,” a pledge. To make real change in your life, commit to a positive practice, like giving money to charity, or offering a compliment to someone, and pledge to do it every day. I know a young man who gives 5 cents to charity every day. That’s not very much, but it requires forethought, and persistence, and it trains him every day to think about other people.

 

It’s a small investment, that adds up to not only $1000 over 50 years, but it ultimately changes his personality, and he is more likely to give of himself when called upon for greater sacrifice.

 

As Rosh Hashana approaches, we look to make lasting changes in our lives. Let’s avoid the end of the year rush and make a small daily pledge. It amounts to a daily decision to do a special Mitzvah, and the benefits that accrue will bring overwhelming rewards. (Based on Be’ar HaParsha, Rav Elimelech Biderman)