Heartspeak

Parshas Netzavim

Posted on September 23, 2024 (5784) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha| Level: Beginner

Teshuva. It is the word of the hour, and there is no better time for the Torah to talk about it than the week before Rosh Hashanah. It means repentance. It means not only taking heart but even changing heart! And this week the Torah tells us that the requirements are not as difficult as one would perceive. “It is not in heaven or across the sea. Rather it is very near to you – in your mouth and in your heart – to perform” (Deuteronomy 30:12-15).

 

The Ibn Ezra comments on the three aspects of commitment that the Torah alludes to — the mouth, the heart and the performance. In practical terms, there are commandments of the heart, there are those that entail speech, and there are those that require action.

 

But on a simple level, the Torah seems to discuss a process that involves commitment before action. It takes the heart and the mouth to make the commitment before the action is performed. Thus the Torah tells us, “it is very near to you – in your mouth and in your heart – to perform.” The sequence of events, however, seems reversed. The Torah puts the mouth before the heart. Shouldn’t the Torah have written, ” It is very near to you – in your heart and in your mouth- to perform”? Doesn’t one have to have wholehearted feeling before making verbal pledges? Why would the Torah tell us that it is close to your mouth and your heart?

 

In the years before the establishment of the State of Israel, Rabbi Aryeh Levin, the Tzadik of Jerusalem, would visit the inmates of the British-controlled Jerusalem prison on every Shabbos. Though most of the Jewish prisoners were not observant, they would quickly don kippot before the revered Rabbi would greet them. Then they would join in the Shabbos morning prayer service that Reb Aryeh organized and they would read along with the rabbi, as if they were observant Jews.

 

The entire scene agitated one particularly nasty fellow named Yaakov. He would try in every way to irritate the gentle Rabbi. Each Shabbos, he would purposely light up a cigarette in Reb Aryeh’s face in order to disturb him. Reb Aryeh was never fazed. One Shabbos, Yaakov stormed into the makeshift synagogue and snapped at the aged Rabbi.

 

“Why do you waste your time with these liars and fakes? They are no more observant than I am. They only put the kippah on their heads when you come here. Furthermore, they only pray and open their lips to G-d when you are here. Otherwise they have no feeling in their hearts!”

 

Reb Aryeh turned to Yaakov and rebuked him with a firm but gentle voice. “Why do you slander these souls. They come to pray every single week. I do not look at their heads but rather in their hearts. And when I hear the prayers coming from their lips, I know that their hearts are following as well.”

 

It was not long before Yaakov became a steady member of the prayer group.

 

The Torah may be hinting at a powerful message. It may be telling us that even though our hearts have not arrived as yet, it is still important to use our lips to communicate the commitments and pray the prayers of the Jewish People. The Torah is not far away. It is close and easy for your mouth. The books are available. The siddur is understandable and translated.

 

 It is very near to your lips. All you have to do is talk the talk – sincerely. Soon enough, you will walk the walk with the same sincerity as well.

 

Dedicated in memory of our beloved father and grandfather Fishel Yitzchok Ben Shmuel Zisblatt, from his family

Good Shabbos!

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky

 

Goals for Growing

Parshas Vayeilech

Posted on October 3, 2019 (5780) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

The Torah reading of this week describes our great teacher and leader Moshe as ‘going,’ though the Torah does not indicate to what destination. This is an indication of the personality and life achievements of Moshe – a person who is constantly growing. He aspires to greatness and pursues this goal. Though he initially attempts to escape from the burden of leading the Jewish people and even tells G-d, so to speak, to find someone else for the mission, once he actually accepts his role and embarks on his destiny, he is constantly focused on enhancing his own personal spiritual and mental acumen. He is focused on raising the Jewish people to the heights of becoming a special and holy nation.

 

As such, we constantly view Moshe as someone who never rests, who makes a point of often reminding the Jewish people that when he was present in heaven in order to receive the Torah, he did not eat, drink or rest during that period of time. The Jewish viewpoint of life is that time is very precious and wasting time is to be avoided at almost all costs. We often hear the phrase that ‘enough is enough,’ but truly, enough is never enough and there is always a goal that can yet be achieved, a good deed that can still be accomplished, and an inspirational thought that can be absorbed into our personalities.

 

When King David created the signal with Jonathan as to what their future course would be, when it became apparent that King Saul in his paranoid illness intended to persecute David, Jonathan chose as the message to warn David of the impending danger that “ the arrows are still ahead of you.” That is also a good lesson for life generally. Our goals and achievements, the arrows that we hope will reach their target successfully, are always still around us and must be pursued and refined.

 

There are all sorts of artificial and external influences and advice that is meant to give us extended and renewed energy. However, I believe that we are all aware that the true source and driving force of energy in our lifetime lies within our own selves. Ultimately, we are the ones that decide what we will accomplish and what goals that could have been achieved will somehow be neglected and even forgotten.

 

The greatness of our teacher Moshe lies in the fact that until the last day of his life he was actively pursuing his goals. The Torah records for us that Moshe’s vision was not dimmed. He was never tempted to say that ‘enough is enough.’ He prayed for Heaven to allow him to deal with the new challenge of entering the land of Israel. He remains the inspiration for Jewish life till our very day.

 

Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein

 

Open Your Eyes

Parshas Ki Savo

Posted on September 16, 2024 (5784) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

It is the last day of Moses’ life. The forty years of confinement in the desert are at an end, and the Jewish people stand poised on the banks of the Jordan River. The atmosphere is somber and subdued. Moses had just finished reciting the litany of calamities that would befall the Jewish people should they ever turn away from the Creator. Now it is time for a few words of encouragement. “Hashem did not give you an understanding heart,” Moses calls out to the people, “nor eyes that see, nor ears that hear, until this very day!”

 

Until this very day? What can this possibly mean? The people had just spent forty years learning Torah from Moses in the desert under the most wondrous conditions. A cloud pillar had stood guard over them during the day, and a pillar of fire in the night. They had eaten manna that fell daily from heaven and drunk water from a rock that accompanied them on their from encampment to encampment. Did Moses really think that the people were oblivious to all these divine manifestations? Did he really think they had turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to everything?

 

There is an old Talmudic saying that “the departure of a righteous person leaves an impression.

 

As long as the righteous person is in the city, he is its grace, its radiance and its glory. When he departs, its grace, its radiance and its glory also depart.” The commentators are puzzled by the apparent redundancy. If the righteous person is the grace of city while he is in it, it goes without saying that when he departs the grace departs as well.

 

The answer, they explain, is that all too often we don’t appreciate what we have until we have lost it. When do we realize that the righteous person is the grace of the city? When he departs and the city is suddenly graceless. That is when we recognize the value of what we once had.

In this light, we can understand what Moses was saying on the last day of his life. For forty years, the Jewish people had lived in close proximity to the greatest prophet who ever lived. He had brought them out of Egypt. He had gone up on the mountain to receive the Torah. He guided them with transcendent and inspired leadership. Most important, he devoted day after day, month after month, year after year to teaching them the concepts and nuances of the Torah.

 

After all this time, however, the Jewish people had, to a certain degree, come to take him for granted. They enjoyed the incredibly breathtaking privilege of having Moses as their leader and teacher, but familiarity had sapped them of their breathlessness. Only now, during the waning hours of the last day of Moses’ life, did they realize the sheer grandeur of what they were about to lose. Only now did their eyes and ears open fully.

 

A young man asked a sage how to go about finding riches.

“Would you give a leg,” asked the sage, “for a bagful of diamonds?”

 

“Yes, I would,” said the young man. “The pleasures riches bring would easily compensate for my loss of a leg.”

 

“Come with me,” said the sage, and he led him into the marketplace where a one-legged man sat leaning against a wall.

 

“My good fellow,” said the sage, “would you give me a bagful of diamonds if I could restore your leg?”

 

“I would give two bagfuls,” he replied, “even if I had to spend years stealing them. I would do anything to be relieved of my legless misery.”

 

The sage turned to the young man. “Would you still make that deal?”

 

The young man shivered and shook his head.

 

“Go home,” said the sage. “You don’t have to seek riches. You have it already.”

 

In our own lives, we all want to achieve, acquire and accomplish We focus all our energies and determination on the high goals we have set for ourselves, but high goals are not easily nor quickly reached. What happens in the interim? Do we feel deprived because our goals still elude our grasp? If this is our attitude, then we are cheating ourselves of the exquisite pleasures of what we already have. Let us focus instead on all the blessings Hashem has granted us, our families, our health, the air we breath, the glory of a summer sunset. We may discover that the most valuable riches are already in our possession.

 

Text Copyright © 2010 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanenbaum Education Center.

 

Man’s Search for Meaning

Parshas Ki Savo

Posted on September 16, 2024 (5784) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha| Level: Beginner

This week’s portion discusses the entry into the land of Israel and the responsibilities that are intrinsically tied with its inheritance. There are countless blessing mentioned that follow a Torah lifestyle and unfortunately myriad curses when those values are abandoned.

 

But after the litany of blessing and curses, Moshe tells the nation, “you have seen everything that Hashem did before your eyes in the land of Egypt to Pharaoh and all his servants and to all the land. Your eyes beheld the great signs and wonders, but Hashem did not give you a heart to comprehend, eyes to see, or ears to hear until this day” (Deuteronomy 29:2-3). Moshe was obviously referring to the day that the Jews received a Torah comprehension of events. But it defies logic. After all, what does one need to understand about wonders? Water turning to blood, supernatural invasions of wild animals, locusts, and fire-filled hail need no rocket scientist to fathom G-d’s power. Surely the splitting of the sea is as amazing an event that will marvel one’s eyes and stir the senses of any people.

 

What then does Moshe mean when he tells the nation that Hashem “did not give you a heart to comprehend, eyes to see, or ears to hear until this day” ?

 

Rav Noach Weinberg, dean of Aish HaTorah Institutions, tells the story of the young man who came to him in search of spiritual meaning.

 

The young man entered the portals of Yeshiva Aish HaTorah for a few days and then decided to leave the yeshiva in his quest for spiritual meaning across the Land of Israel. The student stopped at synagogues in Meah Shearim, visited the holy sites in Tiberias and Tzefat, and after two weeks of spiritual-hunting returned to Jerusalem and headed straight back to the Yeshiva.

 

“Rabbi Weinberg,” he exclaimed. “I spent two weeks in travelling the length and breadth of Israel in search of spirituality, and I want you to know that I found absolutely nothing!”

 

Rabbi Weinberg just nodded. “You say you traveled the entire country and did not find any spirituality?”

 

“Yes sir,” came the resounding reply. “None whatsoever!”

 

“Let me ask you,” continued the Rabbi, “how did you find the Bafoofsticks?”

 

“Bafoofsticks?” countered the student. What’s a Bafoofstick?”

 

“That’s not the point,” responded the rabbi, “I just want to know how you feel about them.”

“About what?

 

“The Bafoofsticks”

 

The young man looked at the rabbi as if he had lost his mind. He tried to be as respectful as he could under the circumstances. “Rabbi!” he exclaimed in frustration, “I’d love to tell you how the Bafoofsticks were. I’d even spend the whole day discussing Bafoofsticks with you, but frankly I have no idea what in the world is a Bafoofstick!” Rabbi Weinberg smiled. He had accomplished his objective. “Tell me,” he said softly. “And you know what spirituality is?”

 

Moshe explains to the nation that it is possible to be mired in miracles and still not comprehend the greatness that surrounds you. One can experience miraculous revelations but unless he focuses his heart and mind he will continue to lead his life uninspired as before.

 

In fact, even blessings need to be realized. In offering blessing the Torah tells us, “the blessings will be upon you and they will reach you” (Deuteronomy 28:2). If blessings are upon us of course they reach you! Why the redundancy? Once again the Torah teaches us that it is possible to be surrounded by blessing and not realize it. There are people who are surrounded by health, wealth, and great fortune, but their lives are permeated in misery. They have the blessing, but it has not reached them.

 

We need more than physical or even spiritual blessing. We need more than experiencing miraculous events. It is not enough to see miracles or receive the best of fortune. We must bring them into our lives and into our souls. Then we will be truly blessed.

 

Good Shabbos © 1999 Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky

Thank You to Mr. Daniel Retter and family for your words of support and encouragement.

Good Shabbos

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky

 

The Root Of Unhappiness

Parshas Ki Savo

Posted on September 16, 2024 (5784) By Rabbi Yochanan Zweig | Series: Rabbi Zweig on the Parsha| Level: Intermediate Beginner

“Because you did not serve Hashem, your G-d, with happiness and goodness of heart, when you had everything in abundance”(28:47)

 

The Torah attributes all of the horrific curses which will befall Bnei Yisroel to not serving Hashem with happiness. The complaint is not that we will not serve Hashem, rather, although we will serve Him, the stress is upon the fact that it will not be done with happiness.

 

Citing the Zohar, the Ramban teaches that the admonition in this week’s parsha refers to the period of the second Beis Hamikdash through its destruction and the subsequent exile.¹

 

The Talmud states that the second Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of “sinas chinam” – “baseless hatred”.² This would appear to contradict the reason offered by the Torah, that the destruction was precipitated by Bnei Yisroel’s not serving Hashem with happiness. How do we reconcile this contradiction?

 

The Torah attests to the fact that we were unhappy, even though we had everything. This is mirrored by the contemporary phenomena which finds a high percentage of depressed and disenchanted people to be those who enjoy success and high social standing. Why do people who apparently have everything that life has to offer, still exhibit a lack of happiness?

 

A person can only be truly happy if he appreciates what Hashem has given him. However, if a person is egocentric, considering himself deserved of all that he has, he will not be content by that which is already his; rather, he will be focused on those things which are not yet his, but to which he feels entitled. If a person goes through life with the attitude that everyone owes him, he will constantly be miserable, never satisfied with what he has. Furthermore, since he feels he is entitled to everything that he desires, a person who has something he desires becomes an immediate threat to him. He begins loathing that person for no reason other than the perception he maintains that that person is withholding from him an object which should rightfully be his. It is this type of loathing that the Talmud defines as baseless hatred.

 

Consequently, baseless hatred can be traced back at its inception to our lack of appreciation for what Hashem has done and continues to do for us. Therefore, sinas chinam is not a different reason than the reason offered by the Torah as to what precipitated the destruction of the Temple; it is a manifestation of being unhappy when serving Hashem.

 

Family Friction

Parshas Ki Seitzei

Posted on September 12, 2019 (5779) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

This week’s Torah portion deals with many different issues of human behavior and family relations. We are all aware that the relationships between parents and children, as well as between other relatives in the same family are often difficult ones and fraught with potential danger, frustration and even tragedy. People within a family are very capable of disliking and even hating one another despite their biological and social connection. This is because in the basic family structure there exists a bond of love between the members of the family that is natural and quite strong. And any time strong love is present, the possibility of strong hate always lurks in the background.

 

Precisely because children love their parents, they feel justified in holding them to unrealistic standards of behavior and attitude. And since parents often fall short of such absolute perfection, the resentment towards them can become so great as to lead to awful family disputes. Hard statistics reveal that most murders occur between perpetrators and victims who are related or know each other well. These family members have experienced disappointment and often complain of severe mistreatment.

 

There are many current theories as to how to properly raise children and create tranquility and harmony within the family unit. But, as is true in almost all areas of life, one size does not fit all, and it is difficult to fit each separate case into any general rule. Because of this, it is obvious that every family must sort through relationships and affairs individually. Very rarely if ever can any outside source, no matter how wise or professional, solve the problems and workings of the family unit.

 

From the narrative that appears regarding the rebellious son – a narrative that according to one opinion in the Talmud is to be treated only as a metaphor – it is clear that we are being taught that there are instances when no logical or rational solution is present or possible. It is difficult for us in our time, when we have unlocked so many doors regarding the mysteries of science, technology and medicine to have to admit that there are basic human problems that exist within family relationships that we are powerless to solve on our own.

 

Later in the Torah we will read that that there are many hidden things in human life that only Heaven can deal with. We can only do the best that we can, to the extent that we are physically, emotionally and intellectually able. There is no question that this limitation upon our omnipotence is very frustrating especially to modern humans who believe that they are capable of everything.

 

By realizing that paradoxically we can accomplish more than we thought possible in times of difficulty, eventually we know that we must rely upon the G-d that infuses us with life, to help us solve all difficult situations and to accept G-d’s will.

 

Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein

 

Choose Your Battles

Parshas Ki Seitzei

Posted on August 27, 2020 (5780) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah| Level: Beginner

When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out in the army, nor shall he be subjected to anything associated with it. He shall remain free for his home for one year and delight his wife, whom he has taken. (Devarim 24:6)

 

Let us appreciate that here we have a brilliantly sensible Mitzvah. A new husband and wife-duet need time to get to know each other and to build trust. Therefore, the groom is exempt from communal service that might take him away from his bride. What a great opportunity is this Shana Rishona – First Year for newlyweds! Before children arrive and life gets more hectic and expensive and pressurized it is crucial that the couple gets to talk things out in longhand first so that later they can communicate in shorthand.

 

What once took hours of discussion can later be summarized in a single glance. After a while older couples can easily anticipate the needs of their spouse. However, initially, wrong assumptions and misunderstandings need time, plenty of time to be carefully untangled and resolved. Later there may not be sufficient time or patience to unpack messy matters carefully when the pace and intensity of life quickens. Therefore, we can admire and appreciate the wisdom of this gift by the Almighty for every bride and groom!

 

A dear friend who was married a year before me, told me about a terrible mistake he made in Shana Rishona. He shared it with me so I would not fall into the same trap and he told me to tell others so they can be saved as well. There is a custom that during that first year a husband gets permission from his wife before he goes out – away from home. This fellow was very dutiful and precise about this all during the year. As the sun set on the first year of marriage and “Shana Rishona” was concluding, he stood by the door and declared, “I don’t have to tell you where I’m going now and when I’ll be back.” He coolly left.

Of course he was joking and he was just going out to pray Maariv. When he came home, he found his wife surrounded by a puddle of tears. She was saying, “You didn’t want to be here with me this whole year!” He called his Rebbe in a panic wondering what he could do to repair the hurt. The Rebbe told him, “You have to start again and do “Shana Rishona” all over again. (He got left back in Shana Rishona!) It’s not a time period. It’s, whenever and however long it takes.

 

Reb Wolbe ZTL writes in his Kuntres HaChasanim, that he asked young men what foundation they wanted to build their marriage upon. The most universal answer was two words, “love and understanding”. He then goes on to explain that it is impossible to build a relationship on “love and understanding” because there is not sufficient understanding yet and since love is a byproduct of giving, the real love bank account is miniscule and superficial to begin with. It turns out that “love and understanding” are not the foundations but rather goals and ideals that are realized over time.

 

At a Sheva Brochos, one of my teachers once whimsically quipped, “Why is a new groom exempt from going to war – Milchama!? Because of the principle, ‘Osek b’Milchama, Patur M’Milchama’, “Someone who is busy with a war is exempt from a war.” This is a play on the true concept of, “Osek B’Mitzvah, Patur Min HaMitzvah – Someone who is busy with a Mitzvah is exempt from a Mitzvah”. Of course he was kidding and he followed up with a valuable qualification. “Marriage is a war! It’s a war of who’s going to give and give in more!”

 

Maybe what he was saying is that marriage and maybe all of life is a war. The only question is, “Why type of war?” Will it be a war of giving or a war of taking? Will it bring you to greater love and understanding or resentment and dismissiveness!? That is the question! That is the choice! Carefully choose your battles!

 

 

Doctors and Pilots

Parshas Shoftim

Posted on September 3, 2024 (5784) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

Seeing is believing. Most of us are natural skeptics, and it is difficult to convince us of something we have not seen with our own eyes. And even then, we are apt to have lingering doubts.

 

Indeed, we take pride in our skepticism, because we know it protects us from all sorts of fraud and deception. We are nobody’s fools.

 

In this week’s portion, however, the Torah goes directly against this tendency. The Torah exhorts us not to deviate one whit from the words of our Sages, neither to the right nor to the left. What does this mean? The Talmud explains that even if they tell us that our right hand is our left and our left is our right we are to follow them with implicit faith. Of course, our Sages would obviously never tell us something that is patently ridiculous. Rather, the left and rights hands are a metaphor for something that is seemingly erroneous according to our perceptions.

 

Nonetheless, we are required to follow their lead rather than our own judgment. The Torah demands that we have faith.

 

How do we understand this requirement to have faith? Why does the Torah demand of us to go against our natural instincts? Why should we follow blindly rather than take a stand as independent thinkers and demand explanations?

 

If we pause to consider, however, we will discover that faith forms an integral part of our everyday lives. In fact, without faith we would be practically immobilized. When we get into our cars, we do not worry that our brakes may be defective and will suddenly fail when we are traveling at high speeds. Why? Because we have faith in the manufacturers. When we get on a plane we do not worry that the pilot is incompetent or drunk. Why? Because we have faith in the pilot. When we go to doctors, we generally accept what they tell us. Why? Because we have faith in our doctors.

 

Without faith, we would be afraid to switch on the lights or put food into our mouths or believe a word anyone tells us. Clearly, Hashem created us with the innate ability to have faith. Why then, if we so easily have faith in our doctors and pilots, do we find it so difficult to have faith in Hashem even when we believe in His existence? Why do we find it so hard to accept all His deeds and commands without question?

 

The answer lies in our egotism. Doctors and pilots are there to serve us. Accepting them on good faith may result in physical restrictions, but it does not require us to surrender our personal independence in any way. We are still in control of our destinies. They advise. We make the decisions. Such faith comes easily.

Faith in Hashem is an altogether different matter. If we forfeit the right to question His deeds and commands, we acknowledge that we are subservient to Him. We surrender our independence, and that is a very difficult thing to do. But still, we must. For if we believe in Hashem yet refuse to give Him our faith and trust, we would be living a lie.

 

Therefore, the Torah exhorts us again and again to have faith in Hashem, to overcome the stiff, illogical resistance of egotism and submit to His higher intelligence. Certainly, He is at least as deserving of our good faith as our doctors and pilots.

 

After attending the yeshivah of a great sage for a number of years, a young student suddenly declared himself an atheist and announced that he was leaving. Naturally, this came as great shock to the other students and the faculty, and they begged him to consult the sage before he left.

 

The sage nodded gravely as he listened to the young man.

 

“I agree that if you are an atheist this is not the place for you,” he said. “But tell me, what made you become an atheist?”

 

“It is because I have lost my faith,” the young man replied.

 

“Indeed? And why did you lose your faith?”

 

“Because I have questions.”

 

The sage smiled sadly. “No, my young friend, you do not have questions. You have answers.

 

You have decided that you want to live a certain lifestyle, and in order to do so you have to be an atheist. Now that you’ve come up with this answer, you have found questions to support your foregone conclusion.”

 

In our own lives, we experience the egotistical resistance to faith in our children, who find it hard to admit that their parents may be right but would willingly accept the same statements from others. The difference is simple. When we acknowledge the wisdom of parents, we pay a high price in personal independence. Similarly, we pay a high price when we acknowledge the awesome might and wisdom of the Master of the Universe. But if we overcome our stubborn egotism and acknowledge the obvious truth, we will find that the rewards of faith are well worth the price we pay for them.

 

Royal Humility

Parshas Shoftim

Posted on August 31, 2022 (5782) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha| Level: Beginner

This week, the Torah teaches us about royalty and its symbiotic relationship with humility. The concept of the Jewish king is discussed in this week’s portion, He is given a tremendous amount of power, but there are caveats as well. He is told not to amass a large cavalry, nor shall he have too many wives lest they sway his heart. Third, he is warned against amassing an excess fortune of gold and silver. But in an interesting addendum, Hashem puts a roadblock to haughtiness in front of the king in a surprisingly different manner. “It shall be that when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself two copies of this Torah in a book, from before the Kohanim, the Levites. It shall be with him, and he shall read from it all the days of his life, so that he will learn to fear Hashem, his G-d, to observe all the words of this Torah and these decrees, to perform them so that his heart does not become haughty over his brethren and not turn from the commandment right or left, so that he will prolong years over his kingdom, he and his sons amid Israel.” (Deuteronomy 15:15-17).

 

It seems that this Book of discipline and its message of restraint need be with the king everyday of his life.

 

Need that be the case? Why not have a court castigator, a prophet or clergy who would sermonize monthly or even weekly. Does the King truly need to constantly carry and read a Book of ethics to forever keep him in check? Rav Yosef Poesner, was the son-in-law of the Nodeh B’Yehuda, the esteemed Rav of Prague. He was a brilliant scholar and an amazingly righteous individual.

 

During his entire life, he seemed to be plagued by a nagging wife who would belittle him at every opportunity. After a brilliant lecture, she would come into the room, and belittle him.

 

During meetings at which his opinion was prominently sought, she would serve the company food, but at the same time she made sure to deride him. During all these outbursts, he never said a word. He never defended himself. In fact, he hung his head low, as if to agree with her words of derision.

 

Then, suddenly, he passed away. Hundreds came to the funeral. All of the gathered contrasted his greatness to the difficult life he had led, by being married to a shrew of a wife who was about to bury him.

 

After the eulogies, his wife suddenly appeared before the coffin, crying uncontrollably.

She begged his permission to speak and then burst into tears.

 

“All these years,” she cried, “I fulfilled the adage that a loyal wife fulfills the wishes of her husband. And due to my loyalty and respect to you and your greatness, I did whatever you had asked me to. But now that you are in the world of the truth, I can finally say the truth.” She began to declare her respect for his greatness and humility, his piety and patience, his kindness and compassion.

 

The people near the coffin were shocked to see this woman transformed into a loving, grieving widow. And then the true shock came. She continued her soliloquy.

 

“Despite, how difficult it was for me, I kept the promise and commitment you had asked me to make.

 

Any time you were treated honorably, or were asked to fulfill a prestigious role, you told me to come in and belittle you as strongly as possible. You were afraid that the honor they afforded you would make you haughty. I only complied because that was your will!”

 

“But now I can finally say the truth!” But that was only in front of people!

 

“You know how much I appreciated and cherished you!” She continued to cry over the great tzadik and lifelong companion she lost. The stunned grievers were shocked at the tremendous devotion of the Rebbitzin, who deemed herself a harrying nag all for the sake of her husband’s wishes.

 

Humility is not easy to attain. And for a man thrust in the limelight of power, flashbulbs popping, the media pressing, and servants waiting, it is an even more arduous task. The only antidote is constant mussar, day in day out. The Torah “shall be with him, and he shall read from it all the days of his life.” Every day. All mussar all the time. No weekly speeches nor sporadic sermons. If the Torah must be cherished like a wife, it also must be asked to nag us into reality. And then, it will serve its men not only delicious desserts, but also humble pie.

 

Good Shabbos!