Saturday, November 27, 2021
Saturday, November 13, 2021
Torah
Values
Parshas Vayeitzei
Posted on November 19, 2012 (5773) By Rabbi Berel Wein
| Series: Rabbi
Wein | Level: Beginner
Rashi
points out for us in the beginning of this week’s parsha (really at the
conclusion of last week’s parsha) that Yaakov stopped at the study house of
Shem and Ever for fourteen years on his flight from Eisav to his uncle’s house
in Aram. This seems to be a strange stopover at first glance.
How will the instruction that he received in the school established
by Shem and Ever contribute to his survival and success at the house of Lavan,
the master conniver and duplicitous character? The question is phrased in a
more current if blunter fashion in the Talmud itself – of what value are the
Torah students to society at large?
To meet Lavan, Yaakov apparently needs to train in different forms
of legal, commercial and worldly pursuits. Studying Torah is all well and fine,
but how does it prepare one for the real world? This question is heard today in
thousands of Jewish households and is a most vexing one. Our world today is one
of Lavan compounded.
Where does Torah study and Torah knowledge fit into our environment,
into solving our problems and difficulties, in facing down our enemies? Yet, we
find that on the whole Yaakov was quite successful in the house of Lavan. He
acquires his wives there and his children are born and raised there. He grows
wealthy in spite of all of Lavan’s efforts to cheat him out of his just
payments and wages. What courses of study did he take and master in the school
of Shem and Ever that enabled him to so succeed?
I have always felt that the answer lies in understanding the place
and goals of a Torah education in one’s life. Most people, especially those who
view it from the outside looking in, think that Torah education is purely a
matter of material covered, of knowledge of facts, of understanding complex and
difficult Talmudical concepts and statements. In truth it is all that but it is
much more.
A proper Torah education, a study course at the school of Shem and
Ever, is meant to impart life-long values and a world view in which to fit the
events of one’s life in a proper and moral fashion. One has
to learn how to deal effectively with Lavan but one has to be very cautious not
to become Lavan in the process.
Self-defense and protection of one’s own interests is part of the
Torah value system. But pleasantness, sensitivity, faith in G-d’s justice and
promises, and a willingness to tolerate and accommodate others (even unpleasant
others) are also a part of the value system of the Torah.
Yaakov enters the school of Shem and Ever to absorb the Torah value
system that will allow him to survive Lavan and not to fall spiritually and
become Lavan in the form of Yaakov. One of the most difficult tasks that faces
Jewish society today is to remain a kingdom of priests and a holy people even
when struggling with Lavan, Yishmael and Eisav for our very existence. Our
schools have to teach Torah values and not be satisfied merely with knowledge,
grades and test scores.
Shabat shalom,
Rabbi Berel Wein
Saturday, November 6, 2021
Raising
Children and Good Mazal
Parshas Toldos
Posted on November 24, 2011 (5772) By Rabbi Berel Wein
| Series: Rabbi
Wein | Level: Beginner
The
rabbis of the Talmud declared that children – having them, raising them and how
they turn out – are dependent on a degree of mazal, good fortune and luck. In
this week’s parsha, where the twins Yaakov and Eisav are described and
contrasted, this cryptic statement is apparently relevant and pertinent. Both
are products of the same parents, raised in the same home and apparently given
the same type of education yet they turn out to be opposite personalities.
In fact, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch sees in this the cause for
Eisav’s evil behavior – Eisav who is a completely different personality than
Yaakov should not have been given the same education as Yaakov. It was the
inability to raise Eisav according to his own tendencies and needs that turned
him into the alienated, rebellious and hateful person that he became.
The story of the twin sons of Yitzchak and Rivkah certainly
illustrates the uncertainty associated in raising children no matter how pious
the parents and how moral the home involved in raising them. It is this element
of unplanned and unforeseen mazal that the rabbis of the Talmud are referring
to.
This in no way absolves parents of their responsibilities and duties
regarding the raising of their children. But, it does point out they have a
will of their own and that there are no guarantees as to how they develop and
what their beliefs and actions in later life will be.
In the nineteenth century entire generations and communities of
Jewish children turned their backs to Torah life and traditional values. It was
due, to a certain degree, to the obvious deficiencies present in Jewish life In
Europe – poverty, governmental persecution, social discrimination and the
apparent backwardness of the then Jewish society. But I feel that the major
driving force of this secularization of Jewish society was the zeitgeist (social
environment) – the prevailing spirit of the times that then was dominant in
European society and life.
Perhaps one can say that this zeitgeist is itself the mazal that the
rabbis spoke of. We are all products of the ideas and times in which we live –
we are influenced by everything. Some, like Yaakov, are able to shut out much
of the outside world by sitting in the tents of Torah for decades on end.
Eisav, who did not have that ability to sit for years in the tents of study,
though he certainly had that opportunity, was swept away by the zeitgeist of
the Canaanites, of Yishmael and the allure of power and wealth.
Following the zeitgeist never excuses bad and immoral behavior in
the eyes of Torah. But it does explain how such alienation and rebellion,
hatred and prejudice is instilled into children who were raised by great
parents and in solid homes and families. Since zeitgeist can never be
completely eliminated from our home environments it behooves us to be aware of
its presence and attempt to deal with it wisely and realistically. And for that
to happen, we will all require a large helping of undiluted good mazal.
Shabat shalom,
Rabbi Berel Wein
Parshas Toldos
Posted on November 28, 2019 (5780) By Rabbi Berel Wein
| Series: Rabbi
Wein | Level: Beginner
Sibling
rivalry is the name of the game. In fact, the entire book of Bereishis can be
described as a narrative of sibling rivalry. We have Kayin and Hevel, Avraham
and his nephew Lot, Yishmael and Yitzchak, Yaakov and Eisav and Yosef and his
brothers. It is as though the Torah wishes to inform and impress upon us the
true nature of human beings.
I often think that that is what is meant when the Torah said that
the nature of human beings is bad from its onset. We are by nature competitive
creatures and the competition always begins at home and with those who are
closest to us. We should not think of our children as being angelic but rather
deal with their true nature and recognize the pitfalls that natural sibling
rivalry will always engender.
Every child is a different world and no two – even identical twins –
are the same. Because of this fact of human nature, competitiveness is built
into the structure of all children. It is the task of education and the home to
channel this competitiveness into positive behavior and creative goals. This is
what the Rabbis meant by their statement that the competitiveness between
scholars and wise men is a method for increasing wisdom and understanding
generally. Without competitiveness there can be very little creativity or
advancement in all forms of life – technology, healthcare, finance, politics
and human nature. The task is to direct this competitiveness towards positive
aims and to limit it so that it does not descend into violence and tyranny.
Part of the problem with Eisav is not competitiveness but rather
insecurity. He always feels his younger brother tugging at his heel and
preventing him from achieving the greatness that he feels is his due. Because
of this insecurity, he seeks fame and fortune in opposing the ideas and
lifestyle of his own very family. He scorns his birthright because he feels
that fulfilling its demands will only inhibit him. He feels that only by being
different than Yaakov can he achieve permanent respect. As all his plans
crumble, he cries out in anguish to his father that he wants the blessings that
Yaakov has received. He realizes that only in those blessings, which he will
have to share always with Yaakov, can his destiny truly be fulfilled.
This is what Yaakov himself tells Eisav at their last meeting, which
we will read about in a few weeks. Eventually Yaakov will come to the mountain
of Eisav and then Eisav will be redeemed by his acceptance of Yaakov and of the
moral values and tradition of his family. Throughout the books of Tanach, we
find this constant struggle of insecurity versus acceptance and competitiveness
versus conformity. We are uncomfortable when we see people who are different
than we are. But the only way to achieve personal greatness is by realizing
that our own inner security need not be weakened by competitiveness with
others.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein
Parshas Toldos
Posted on November 28, 2019 (5780) By Rabbi Label Lam
| Series: Dvar
Torah | Level: Beginner
And the
children struggled within her, and she said, “If so, why is this to Me?” And
she went to inquire of HASHEM. (Breishis 25:19)
And the children struggled within her: When she passed by the
entrances of Torah academies of Shem and Eber, Jacob would run and struggle to
come out; when she passed the entrance of a temple of idolatry, Essav would run
and struggle to come out. Another explanation: They were struggling with each
other and quarreling about the inheritance of the two worlds. – Rashi
One could easily argue that Essav was placed in a disadvantageous
position in life. He had a prenatal disposition for idolatry. Later he was born
ruddy, an indication that his tendency was to spill blood. The poor guy! Why in
the world should he be judged and titled as a Rasha- Wicked!? This was who and
what he was! This was not the result of his free willed choosing.
Then on the other end of the spectrum the same question can be asked.
How can Yaakov be crowned a Tzadik? He too had a prenatal disposition, but his
innate drive was to learn Torah. So how can he be rewarded as a Tzadik? It
wasn’t his doing! He was born intrinsically excellent.
This question I presented to Rabbi Ezriel Tauber ztl. many years
ago. He explained as follows. There are two general ingredients that make a
person into what he is. One is nature and the other is nurture. Sometimes a
person is born with difficult nature but he has to counter balance that a warm
and loving nurturing environment. Sometimes a person with a very good nature
has a rugged and challenging environment.
Now we can look at Essav. Although he naturally had terrible
tendencies, look at the quality of people that surrounded him. His grandfather
was Avraham Avinu. If we could see Avraham Avinu for one split second, our
lives would never be the same. Take any 100 Rebbes and put them together and
then multiply their holiness times 1 million and maybe – maybe we have a sense
of who he might have been. Then he had a father Yitzchak Avinu and a brother
Yaakov Avinu. His mother was one of the 4 great Imahos- Matriarchs that we
bless our daughters to be like every Friday Night. He grew in the midst of the
greatest of the greatest people that have ever walked on the planet. Yet his
heart remained cold and distant.
The Talmud declares, “One who is greater than his friend, has a
bigger Yetzer Hara –negative inclination.” Great people are not born great.
They often have to struggle to overcome some overpowering negativity. In the
process they not only achieve goodness but the rise to greatness. A friend told
me recently that someone took a handwriting sample of Reb Chaim Kanievsky
Shlita to a handwriting expert to be analyzed. The expert said, “I don’t know
too much about this person but I can tell you one thing, he can’t sit still for
a moment and he has no power of concentration!”
The person who brought the sample was astonished. Nothing could be
further from the truth. Reb Chaim learns the entire Torah every year and when
there’s a leap year, an extra month, he writes a Sefer. Probably, no one on the
planet has proven to have greater power of concentration than Reb Chaim
Kanievsky, the greatest Talmud scholar alive today. This man later gave a ride
to Reb Chaim and he reported to him the surprising findings of the handwriting
expert. Reb Chaim was not surprised. He told him, ”This is my nature but I
changed it!”
What was Yaakov’s great merit, that he deserved to titled Tzadik?
Look at who he had as a near neighbor, a twin brother, Essav, one of the most
charismatic fakers of all time. His accomplishment was to remain uninfluenced.
Life is dense with advantages and disadvantages.
What we
become is entirely up to us!
Healthy
Competition
Parshas Toldos
Posted on November 28, 2019 (5780) By Rabbi Berel Wein
| Series: Rabbi
Wein | Level: Beginner
Sibling
rivalry is the name of the game. In fact, the entire book of Bereishis can be
described as a narrative of sibling rivalry. We have Kayin and Hevel, Avraham
and his nephew Lot, Yishmael and Yitzchak, Yaakov and Eisav and Yosef and his
brothers. It is as though the Torah wishes to inform and impress upon us the
true nature of human beings.
I often think that that is what is meant when the Torah said that
the nature of human beings is bad from its onset. We are by nature competitive
creatures and the competition always begins at home and with those who are
closest to us. We should not think of our children as being angelic but rather
deal with their true nature and recognize the pitfalls that natural sibling
rivalry will always engender.
Every child is a different world and no two – even identical twins –
are the same. Because of this fact of human nature, competitiveness is built
into the structure of all children. It is the task of education and the home to
channel this competitiveness into positive behavior and creative goals. This is
what the Rabbis meant by their statement that the competitiveness between
scholars and wise men is a method for increasing wisdom and understanding
generally. Without competitiveness there can be very little creativity or
advancement in all forms of life – technology, healthcare, finance, politics
and human nature. The task is to direct this competitiveness towards positive
aims and to limit it so that it does not descend into violence and tyranny.
Part of the problem with Eisav is not competitiveness but rather
insecurity. He always feels his younger brother tugging at his heel and
preventing him from achieving the greatness that he feels is his due. Because
of this insecurity, he seeks fame and fortune in opposing the ideas and
lifestyle of his own very family. He scorns his birthright because he feels
that fulfilling its demands will only inhibit him. He feels that only by being
different than Yaakov can he achieve permanent respect. As all his plans
crumble, he cries out in anguish to his father that he wants the blessings that
Yaakov has received. He realizes that only in those blessings, which he will
have to share always with Yaakov, can his destiny truly be fulfilled.
This is what Yaakov himself tells Eisav at their last meeting, which
we will read about in a few weeks. Eventually Yaakov will come to the mountain
of Eisav and then Eisav will be redeemed by his acceptance of Yaakov and of the
moral values and tradition of his family. Throughout the books of Tanach, we
find this constant struggle of insecurity versus acceptance and competitiveness
versus conformity. We are uncomfortable when we see people who are different
than we are. But the only way to achieve personal greatness is by realizing
that our own inner security need not be weakened by competitiveness with
others.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein
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