Leadership Qualities

Parshas Shemos

Posted on January 14, 2009 (5769) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

Moses, the chosen messenger of the Master of the Universe, came riding out of the desert into the fabled kingdom of Egypt. With nothing more than the staff in his hand and his brother Aaron at his side, he strode into the royal palace, confronted Pharaoh and demanded, “Let my people go!”

Thus began the spectacular story of the Exodus. Time and again, Moses confronted the belligerent Pharaoh, and after each refusal, he visited a shattering new plague onto Egypt until it was beaten into submission, and the enslaved Jewish people were finally free. As for Moses, he has come down to us as the greatest leader of all time, the man who single-handedly took on the might of the entire Egyptian kingdom and prevailed.

But let us stop and think for a moment. Wherein exactly lay the greatness of Moses in his mission to Egypt? Every step he took, every word he spoke, every move he made was choreographed by Hashem. Hashem told him exactly when and where to go, exactly what to say, exactly what to do. All Moses had to do was follow his instructions faithfully. He had no personal input into any aspect of his spectacular performance. Why then is Moses considered such a towering figure in the history of the Exodus?

The commentators explain that the one critical element that would determine the success or failure of his mission was entirely in Moses’s control. “I want you to know,” Hashem said to him, “that you are going on the condition that you perform my wonders in front of Pharaoh without fearing him.” Without fearing him. This was the key.

As Hashem’s chosen messenger, Moses enjoyed full divine protection, and he knew full well that Pharaoh could not harm him. But it is one thing to know this intellectually and quite another to feel it in one’s heart. According to the Midrash, Pharaoh’s throne was surrounded by snarling lions and fierce warriors, and Pharaoh himself was an exceedingly intimidating tyrant. No matter how sure Moses was that he would come to no harm, could he enter such a scenario without a twinge of trepidation in his heart? And yet, if he had exhibited the slightest tremor in his voice, the slightest flutter of his heart, the slightest blink of his eye, he would have compromised his entire mission. Hashem had sent Moses to demonstrate His absolute mastery over Pharaoh, to show that Pharaoh was utterly nothing, putty in the hands of Heaven. Therefore, had Moses felt any fear, he would have acknowledged Pharaoh as an adversary, albeit an infinitely weaker one, and thereby doomed his mission to failure.

Here then lay the greatness of Moses. He saw clearly that there is no power in the world other than Hashem, that Pharaoh in contraposition to G-d was a total nonentity, unworthy of even the slightest smidgen of fear. Therefore, when Moses walked fearlessly into Pharaoh’s palace, everyone, Egyptian and Jew alike, knew that Hashem was in absolute control

A great general, who was in the process of mounting an invasion of a neighboring country, called a meeting of his most trusted advisors. “Gentlemen, I have a problem,” the general began. “I had hoped to win fame and glory for our armies during this campaign by thoroughly trouncing the enemy. But wherever my armies appear, the enemy flees. We have still had no opportunity to engage them in battle and destroy them. How can we get the enemy to stand and fight?”

“We take hostages,” said one advisor. “That will force them to fight.”

“We plan ambushes,” said another. “We cut off their escape routes.”

Other advisers suggested yet other ruses to force the enemy to fight.

“You are all wrong,” said one old advisor. “If the enemy flees whenever your armies appear, what greater glory can there be?”

In our own lives, we often face trials and challenges that strike fear into our hearts. Whether the threat is to our health, financial security, family life or anything else, the effect can be frightening and, indeed, devastating. But if we can find the strength to look at the world in the broader perspective, if we recognize that we are all messengers of Heaven doing his bidding here on the face of the earth, we will discover that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. As long as we connect ourselves to the infinite reality of the Creator, all our worries pale into insignificance.

Text Copyright © 2009 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Goodness begets Goodness

Parshas Shemos

Posted on January 5, 2010 (5770) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

Shifra and Puah give Jewish children life in this week’s parsha. Midrash and Rashi point out that Shifra and Puah were really Yocheved and Miriam. In G-d’s world where everything eventually evens out, Moshe, Yocheved’s son and Miriam’s brother will be saved from the Nile and its tides and crocodiles by another woman who saved children, Batya, the daughter of the Pharaoh. There is a common streak that runs throughout the Torah that goodness begets goodness and evil always will lead to other evil.

Saving children is the prime value in Jewish life. The emphasis on education in Jewish life is part of this mission of salvation of the young. The enemies of the Jewish people have always concentrated on destroying Jewish children so that the Jewish future would be bleak and non-existent. Pharaoh’s decree to cast Jewish children into the Nile was the first in a long line of such decrees.

The Germans and their evil cohorts destroyed one and a half million Jewish children during the Holocaust. The absence of these children from the midst of the Jewish world is felt even today, seventy years later. Thus the supreme act of kindness and risk taken by Shifra and Puah leads to their reward that the savior of Israel will also be saved from the Nile by a different, compassionate and risk taking woman.

One never realizes how a kindness and good deed done to others can influence for good one’s own life and family circle. By saving other children, Shifra and Puah saved their own little child and brother as well.

In the late 1940’s the Day School movement in America was barely on its fledgling feet attempting to somehow save thousands of American Jewish children from the pits of complete assimilation and Jewish apathy and ignorance – the Nile River of its day, spiritually speaking. It faced overwhelming problems and fierce opposition from within the established Jewish community itself.

Many felt then that somehow being intensely and proudly Jewish in a knowledgeable fashion was un-American. One of the major problems that the Day Schools faced was finding dedicated young families willing to leave the imagined sanctuary of the New York area to become the teachers and administrators of these new schools in the hinterlands of America. They were justifiably concerned about the future of their children growing up in a more difficult, Jewishly speaking, environment.

Rabbi Ahron Kotler, one of the driving forces behind the creation of these new day schools, boldly announced to the yeshiva world that any young couples who would move to these “out of town” communities to help build and staff these schools would be personally guaranteed by him to have success in raising their children as they wish.

His guarantee and prediction was fulfilled in dozens of families who have made a great deal of difference in rebuilding Torah life in America. Saving others in essence, and in the long run, helps to save one’s own self. The redemption of Israel from Egyptian bondage is initiated by small acts of kindness, sacrifice and goodness. Israel and Zion is redeemed by acts of justice and righteousness.

Shabat shalom.

Rabbi Berel Wein

 

 

Family Building

Parshas Vayechi

Posted on December 27, 2017 (5778) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

 

The holy book of Bereshith comes to its conclusion in this week’s parsha. The story of the creation of the Jewish people through the development of one family over a number of generations and by the perseverance of the great personalities of our patriarchs and matriarchs is now complete.

This raises the question originally posed in Rashi’s commentary to the very beginning of the book of Bereshith – why does the Torah, which appears to be basically a book of laws and commandments, bother with all of this detailed description of creation and continued familial based narrative? Why is this seemingly anecdotal knowledge of the lives of our ancestors so necessary to be included in the eternal Torah and how does it register in the survival of the Jewish people throughout the ages?

In response to this question of relevance, the rabbis taught us that the events that occurred to our ancestors are indeed the harbingers of happenings that will occur to their descendants. But many times it is difficult for later generations to make this connection, except in the most general way of experiencing historic repetitions of circumstances.

This book of Bereshith, which comprises a substantial part of the entire written Torah, contains within it almost no commandments and is basically a book of narrative tracing the development of one family – eventually seventy in number – and of the difficulties that this family encountered over generations. So what therefore is its main message to us living in a far different world, millennia later?

I think that the message of Bereshith is the obvious one of family and its importance. The Torah purposely and in minute detail describes for us how difficult it truly is to create and maintain a cohesive family structure. Every one of the generations described in Bereshith from Kayin and Hevel till Yosef and his brothers is engaged in the difficult and often heartbreaking task of family building.

There are no smooth and trouble free familial relationships described in the book of Bereshith. Sibling rivalry, violence, different traits of personality, and marital and domestic strife are the stuff of the biblical narrative of this book. The Torah does not sanitize any of its stories nor does it avoid confronting the foibles and errors of human beings.

The greatest of our people, our patriarchs and matriarchs, encountered severe difficulties in attempting to create cohesive, moral and cooperative families. Yet they persevered in the attempt because without this strong sense of family there can be no basis for eternal Jewish survival. There is tragic fall out in each of the families described in Bereshith and yet somehow the thread of family continuity is maintained and strengthened until the family grows into a numerous and influential nation.

This perseverance of family building, in spite of all of the disappointments inherent in that task, is the reason for the book of Bereshith. It is the template of the behavior of our ancestors that now remains as the guideposts for their descendants. The task of family building remains the only sure method of ensuring Jewish survival.

Shabat shalom

Rabbi Berel Wein

 

An Escort for Life

Parshas Vayigash

Posted on December 22, 2009 (5770) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

This week’s parashah opens with the dramatic confrontation between Judah and the inflexible Egyptian viceroy. The tension builds to a fever pitch, and reaches its stunning climax with the revelation that the viceroy is none other than the long-lost Joseph. An emotional reunion follows, but Joseph’s immediate concern is to send a personal message to his father Jacob. This important message has to prove that he, the Egyptian viceroy, is indeed Joseph. Concurrently, it must also alleviate Jacob’s inevitable concerns about Joseph’s spiritual condition after having lived apart from his family for so many years in the Egyptian den of corruption and immorality. So what message did Joseph choose to send?

He chose to remind his father that during their last meeting they had discussed the Torah laws regarding the ritual of the eglah arufah, which is performed when a wayfarer is found murdered on the open road and the assailant is unknown. The Torah (Devarim 21) commands that the elders of the city nearest to the scene of the crime come out and declare, “Our hands did not spill this blood!”

Joseph’s knowledge of this private conversation was certainly clear proof of Joseph’s identity, but how did it reassure Jacob that his son had maintained his high spiritual levels?

Let us take a closer look at the remarkable statement the elders when they visit the scene of the tragic crime. “Our hands did not spill this blood!” Are the elders really suspects in this unsolved murder case? Of course not, says the Talmud (Sotah 45b). The elders were declaring that the wayfarer had not been turned away from their city without being offered food and a proper sendoff on his journey.

But is the failure to offer a wayfarer food and a warm sendoff such a terrible thing? Why does the Torah value extending hospitality so highly that the failure to do so is considered “spilling blood”?

The commentaries explain that hospitality is not only meant to satisfy a person’s physical needs. It also nourishes his very heart and soul. A wayfarer, separated from the support system of his home and family, inevitably feels forlorn and demoralized. But when he is welcomed into a home with warmth and affection, he once again feels connected and secure. And when he is given a warm sendoff, he is filled with renewed confidence and self-esteem. He holds his head a little higher, his shoulders are squared back, and there is a buoyant spring in his step. Such a person is an unlikely target for the predators that roam the highways. It is the beaten-down traveler who feels isolated and lost that is most vulnerable to attack. The restorative gifts of hospitality can fortify and sustain a person for the long road ahead to an immeasurable degree, and therefore, withholding these gifts is tantamount to “spilling his blood.”

Joseph was addressing this concept between the lines of his message to his father. Do not be concerned that I have lost my spiritual bearings, that I have become an immoral Egyptian, he was saying. The spiritual gifts I received in your house during the years of my youth were my suit of armor all these years. They gave me the strength and courage to resist the corruption of Egypt and kept me on the exalted level of a future tribal patriarch of the Jewish people. Remember our discussions about the eglah arufah. Just as the wayfarer is fortified for his journey by a few hours of hospitality, I, too, was fortified for my whole life by my youth in your home. You need not worry. I am the same Joseph you once knew, only a little older.

This is a lesson of critical importance to all of us. We sometimes do not appreciate how profoundly the things we do and say can affect others. Certainly, our children deserve that we bring them up with warmth, sensitivity and strong values. If we do, they will always hold their heads a little higher, because we will have given them the confidence and self-esteem that will nourish them for the rest of their lives. But even in our myriad daily contacts with other people, we can do so much with a helping hand, a kind word, a simple smile. The smallest gesture of warmth and sincere compassion can sometimes penetrate the heart of a lonely wayfarer on the road of life and give him the restorative gifts that will enable him to reach his destination safely.

Text Copyright © 2009 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanenbaum Education Center.

 

 

 

Human Greatness: Admit Wrong and Change Direction

Parshas Vayigash

Posted on December 25, 2014 (5775) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

As the Torah’s narrative of the story of Yosef and his brothers reaches its dramatic climax in this week’s parsha, one may feel justifiably surprised that the brothers were so shocked at Yosef’s revelation to them. After all, there was no shortage of revelatory hints strewn by Yosef throughout the unfolding story.

But the brothers, convinced of the rectitude of their actions and behavior, remained insensitive to Yosef and his words, dreams and vision to the end. This fact of willful blindness, no matter what facts are unfolding before one’s eyes, is not a rare occurrence in life. It is unfortunately a very common human characteristic.

The combination of self-righteousness, so-called ideological purity, human stubbornness and the reluctance to admit past error is a lethal mix. It corrupts thought and behavior and blinds the eyes, even of the righteous. The Torah describes the effects of venal monetary corruption thusly: “For graft will blind the sight of the otherwise righteous and pervert the utterances of the wise.”

There is no greater graft or corruption than the self-righteousness of the ideologues amongst us. The brothers disbelieved Yosef’s dreams from the onset and hardened their hearts and justified their behavior towards him. They convinced themselves that they could not have been wrong regarding such an important matter.

Blinded by their own convictions and worldview, of their exclusive role in creating the Jewish people without Yosef’s participation, the brothers were blind to the facts that unfolded before their eyes. I am reminded of the sign that I once saw on the desk of a noted professor of law that said “Don’t confuse me with the facts. My mind is made up!” Even the greatest among us fall into that trap.

There is a portion of the Jewish people who sincerely believe, whether for religious or ideological reasons, that the state of Israel should never have been created. Great rabbinic leaders of the past assured their followers that the state could not last longer than fifteen years or fifty years at the most. The facts thankfully belie those dark predictions and certainties.

There were ideologues on the left who said that by abandoning Marxism the state of Israel was doomed, as was the world of the Western democracies generally. Once again the facts of the matter have arisen to deny this skewed and dire viewpoint. All of the naysayers of the past still deny the present and continue to fight against the raging sea of facts that appear before their very eyes.

Twenty years after the Oslo agreements, it is apparent to all that somehow this process failed to bring even a modicum of peace to Israel and its Arab antagonists. Yet, having committed themselves to and having invested so much effort in a failed process there are still many who refuse to face the facts and recognize that their worldview and assessment of the situation was wrong.

So even when Yosef stands before you, one is blinded by one’s own prejudices and previous mindset. This is a very important lesson to be learned from the narrative of the Torah. The ability to admit wrong and change direction is one of the true hallmarks of human greatness. It certainly is necessary in our time and in our circumstances.

Shabbat shalom

Rabbi Berel Wein

 

 

 

A Change of Heart

Parshas Miketz

Posted on December 12, 2017 (5778) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

 

There was no convincing the Egyptian viceroy. Jacob’s sons kept protesting that they had come to Egypt in all innocence to buy grain for their starving families, but the hostile viceroy would have none of it. They were evil spies, he insisted, and he had them arrested and thrown into the dungeon. Only one would be allowed to return home to bring evidence of their innocence, while the others would languish in prison.

Three days later, however, the viceroy apparently has a change of heart. As we read in this week’s Torah portion, he has the brothers brought before him, and he tells them that, because he fears the Lord, he will modify his earlier decree. Instead of keeping them all incarcerated until their innocence is established, he will keep only one and allow the rest to return home with food for their hungry families.

After the viceroy makes his announcement, the Torah adds, “And so they did.” But what was it that they did? The Torah does not specify. Instead, the Torah goes on to record their words of self-recrimination for having sold their brother Joseph into slavery. “We are indeed guilty of mistreating our brother,” they say. “We saw his extreme distress when he pleaded with us, but we did not listen to him. That is why we are being subjected to this misfortune.” But the mystery remains. What was it that they did as soon as the viceroy had spoken?

Let us consider for a moment. Twenty-two years have gone by since that fateful day when the brothers sold Joseph into slavery. Why do they finally acknowledge their guilt at this particular moment?

The commentators explain that the unexpected actions of the viceroy prompted them to reevaluate their own deeds so many years before. The viceroy ruled Egypt with the iron hand of an autocratic despot. He answered to no one except for Pharaoh, who gave him virtual carte blanche to do as he pleased. When he decrees that all the brothers would be locked up until they proved their innocence, it is inconceivable that he would suddenly have a change of heart. Why should he? Clearly, their fate is sealed.

And yet, wonder of wonders, the viceroy does indeed have a change of heart. What could this mean?

The brothers see in this a clear message from Heaven. A person must always keep an open mind and not feel locked into his original positions. No matter what, he must always maintain an objective perspective. If he thinks he may have made an error, he should correct it, though his ego may suffer somewhat. If even the arrogant and haughty viceroy had changed his mind of his own accord, surely Jacob’s sons could do no less.

Originally, they had agreed among themselves that Joseph deserved to die, or at least be sold into slavery, for his supposed transgressions. Once they had arrived at this decision, they had been immovable, and all Joseph’s pleas for mercy had fallen on deaf ears. But now they took their example from the viceroy who had shown the courage to reexamine his earlier decision. “And so they did.” They, too, reexamined their earlier actions and found them wanting.

A married couple sought the help of a great sage.

“My husband is insufferable,” the wife complained.

“I’m only reacting to her nastiness,” he retorted.

“Think carefully,” said the sage. “When did this all begin?”

“About a week ago,” said the wife, “I baked a very fancy cake, and he forgot to take it out of the oven. All that work for nothing!” “I didn’t forget,” protested her husband. “The message wasn’t clear.”

“Now wait a minute, young man,” said the sage. “She did leave you a message, didn’t she? But you couldn’t admit that you made a mistake, so you defended yourself with all your might.”

The husband nodded sheepishly.

“Well then,” said the sage, “I think we can resolve all your problems. Just admit you were at fault and apologize. I’m sure she will forgive you.”

In our own lives, we are constantly presented with situations that demand of us that we take a stand one way or the other. And once we have taken this stand, it sometimes takes on a life of its own. Once we have invested our honor and credibility in a particular position, we sometimes find ourselves going to great lengths to defend the indefensible. However, if we keep an open mind, if we are honest with ourselves and consider the possibility that we may have erred, we will discover that the ultimate honor always lies in embracing the truth and doing what is right.

 

Text Copyright © 2006 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanebaum Education Center.

Pawns in Divine Hands

Parshas Miketz

Posted on December 5, 2018 (5779) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

 

In this week’s Torah reading, we read of the dreams of the Pharaoh of Egypt. The Torah does not identify who this Pharaoh was. We know nothing about him, we know nothing as to how he became the Pharaoh. He is a complete mystery, yet he is the catalyst for everything that will happen. He will be the one who has Joseph released from prison. He is the one that will make Joseph the viceroy of Egypt. In that regard, and because of the dreams that he had, the famine comes to the entire area of the middle east and Joseph and his brothers enact the final drama of their relationship and of the building of the people of Israel.

It is interesting to note that throughout the Bible there are characters who are central to the story but who are basically anonymous. We do not know who they are and why they act as they do. We do not know if they are aware of the central role that they are playing in the history of civilization and of the Jewish people. From everything that we can read and understand, it seems that they are oblivious as to their role. They are behaving as ordinary human beings in what they think are ordinary circumstances and are unaware that somehow cosmic events are occurring because of them.

The Pharaoh simply wants to have a bad dream interpreted. He is not interested and may not even know, regarding the house of Jacob in the land of Israel, nor of the fact that there is a young Hebrew that is a prisoner in one of his dungeons. All he wants is to have his anxieties relieved by having some sort of interpretation of his frightening dream. Here we have a glimpse into how Heaven, so to speak, interferes and guides – without notice – the events of human beings and of civilization.

This is the nature of human life. We always concentrate on the trees and most of the time we’re not even aware that there is a forest. What looks to us to be small and insignificant choices are really magnified because of their effect upon others and upon history. The Pharaoh of Egypt does not realize that he is the center of a drama that will remain cogent and important for thirty-seven hundred years. He is not aware as to what his true role in the matter is. So, he just acts as a normal human being. Nevertheless, it is noteworthy to see how quickly he raises Joseph. He could just have said, “Well, thank you for the interpretation of the dream.” He could have just, if he wanted to be magnanimous, freed Joseph from jail.

But here, he elevates him. He makes him second in command of the Egyptian empire. He believes that Joseph is so talented and that the dream is so real that he must act in order to implement it. This, already, is the hand of Heaven. This points out to us how the divine will, so to speak, pushes human beings into behavior that is not quite logical, but that, in retrospect, is important, eventful, and meaningful. And that is really an important lesson that all of us should take to heart because there are no inconsequential actions of human beings. Everything that we do, everything that we say, counts and is recorded for good or for better.

Shabbat shalom.
Rabbi Berel Wein

The Past

Parshas Miketz

Posted on November 28, 2013 (5774) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

All of the people involved in the human drama described for us in this week’s Torah reading are haunted by their past actions, behavior and attitudes. Pharaoh is disturbed by his dreams of an empire where the strong overwhelm the weak and suddenly this past dream turns into a nightmare of the weak devouring the strong. Pharaoh’s butler thought that he had placed his past indiscretions behind him and could safely forget everything and everyone associated with his time in prison.

He is now forced to recall the young Jewish Yosef and once again bring back the entire sordid story to the attention of Pharaoh. Yosef rises to power and position and attempts to build a new life for himself far away from his homeland and his family.

And, lo and behold, there now appear before him his ten brothers with whom he disagreed vehemently years ago and were the agents in his being sold as a slave to Egyptian aristocracy. Suddenly his heavenly inspired dreams of long ago and the bitterness of his relationship with his ten brothers descend upon him once more. The brothers do not realize that they are standing before their brother Yosef. But they remember remorsefully the feud with him and their less than charitable behavior towards him and see their current danger in Egypt as somehow being Divine retribution for their callousness and lack of compassion towards a brother.

And back in the Land of Israel, the old father Yaakov is inconsolable over the disappearance of Yosef for he remains convinced that the old dreams of Yosef were true prophecy and thus somehow must yet remain valid and will be fulfilled.

The past never disappears, not in personal life nor in national and international affairs. All attempts to “move on” so to speak are always hampered by the baggage of the past that we are always forced to carry with us. Our generation of Jews is still haunted by the Holocaust.

The nations of Europe are still possessed of their ancient and almost inbred disdain and hatred of Jews and Judaism. They cannot expunge that demon from their very being. The Left is still haunted by the false vision and unattainable economic and social theories of nineteenth century Marxism with all of its malevolent byproducts. The past compresses upon our world and gives us little room for serenity and comfort. But there is a positive past that also exists in the Jewish world – the past of Sinai and Jerusalem, of Torah and chosiness, of thousands of years of traditional Jewish life and unwavering moral values.

That past is also slowly returning to many Jews who had forgotten about it or who never really knew much about it. The past is therefore a mighty weapon in shaping our present and certainly our future. It is the past that saves Yosef and his brothers and restores Yaakov to be the father of the nation of Israel. The past is not always pleasant to recall. But it is always necessary and instructive. As we dream on of a glorious future we must remember that our past always accompanies us on life’s journey.

Shabat shalom

Rabbi Berel Wein

 

 

 

Hashem Peeking From Behind the Curtain

Parshas Vayeishev

Posted on November 21, 2013 (5774) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

What a stirring saga! Yosef is betrayed and conspired against by his brothers and then thrown into a dark pit where he is doomed to die. At the last moment, the brothers pull him out. Broken in body and spirit, he endures the additional humiliation of being sold as a common slave to a passing trading caravan. What could possibly be more devastating? How utterly hopeless Yosef’s plight appears to be!

In the midst of this hellish scene, the Torah tells us, G-d lightened Yosef’s suffering by arranging for his journey down to Egypt to be in a fragrant, scented environment. The caravan of traders that had purchased him were carrying fine perfumes and spices. A pleasant fragrance wafted through the air around him as he made his way down to Egypt.

What are we to make of this information? Here Yosef is being sold into slavery with no prospects of ever being freed. Betrayed by his brothers, he is at the mercy of lawless people who could abuse and exploit him at will. At such a harrowing time, would he be likely to notice the scent around him? And if he did, what difference would it make to him in his pain and misery?

Yet, we must bear in mind that the Torah informs us about the spices in the caravan for a reason. Embedded in this dire and painful event was a secret note from Hashem to Yosef: ‘Don’t worry Yosef, I love you and I will spare you whatever suffering I can. Look, even here, in your miserable and wretched condition I will show you that I am peaking out from behind the curtain by sending you this little ray of positive encouragement. If only you can decipher my message of caring and love!”

Our lives are a long chain of challenges and difficulties. Although these hardships may be divinely ordained to tone up our spiritual muscles and help us grow, it is often difficult to recognize them as such.

Yet, if we are attuned, we can pinpoint moments in our lives when Hashem demonstrates that he is watching from behind the curtain. All of us can be grateful for the seemingly small but infinitely valuable daily gifts and special messages with which Hashem lets us know that He is taking care of us.

Be it with the blessings of good health, our precious children, beloved family and friends or the innumerable other gifts we enjoy, we are constantly graced with Hashem’s loving beneficence.

By training our emotions to always operate in thankful mode, we can weather life’s disappointments. However, if we allow ourselves to fall into the mode of “entitlement,” as if we are owed life’s blessings and luxuries, we will inevitably suffer a spiritual and emotional setback.

— Rabbi Naftali Reich

Text Copyright © 2013 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Wisdom in Action

Parshas Vayeishev

Posted on December 12, 2014 (5775) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

 

Now it came about when she spoke to Yosef day in and day out, that he did not obey her… to be with her. And it came about on a certain day, that he came to the house to do his work, and none of the people of the house were there in the house. So she grabbed him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me!” But he left his garment in her hand and fled and went outside. (Breishis 39:10-12)

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. (Anonymous) his father’s image appeared, Yosef HaTzadik earns his wings with this display of heroism. He is titled a Tzadik! The sea splits for the Nation of Israel in his honor, for this single act of resistance. However, when we read Rashi a troubling question jumps out. There is an opinion that he actually came to be with her but his father’s image appeared to him. It looks like he was ready to cave in until he was magically saved, bailed out by a sudden appearance of the image of his holy father. What was his input to merit such honor?

There was a psychological study done in 1970 at Stanford University known as the “Marshmallow Study”. The purpose of the original study was to understand when the control of deferred gratification, the ability to wait to obtain something that one wants, develops in children. The experiment took place at a Nursery School with children age 4 to 6 as subjects.

The children were led into a room, empty of distractions, where a treat of their choice (Oreo cookie, marshmallow, or pretzel stick) was placed on a table, by a chair. The children could eat the marshmallow, the researchers said, but if they waited for fifteen minutes without giving in to the temptation, they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow. Some would “cover their eyes with their hands or turn around so that they can’t see the tray, others start kicking the desk, or tug on their pigtails, or stroke the marshmallow as if it were a tiny stuffed animal”, while others would simply eat the marshmallow as soon as the researchers left.

In over 600 children who took part in the experiment, a minority ate the marshmallow immediately. Of those who attempted to delay, one third deferred gratification long enough to get the second marshmallow. Age was a major determinant of deferred gratification. As the children who participated in life were followed into adulthood, surprise- surprise, it was discovered that the ones who had shown resistance to temptation, had actually achieved more and gone on to live more successful lives.

The results of the study should not come as any surprise to us. The experiment actually tested exactly whether the child’s animal soul, which can only grasp and be grasped by present tangible stimuli is going to be the dominant force or whether the G-dly soul, the intellect, is able to override the sirens of temptation. Now we can wonder, from where did Yosef summon the spiritual strength for his test of extreme temptation!?

The story is told that the Sanzer Rav asked a Chassid that was passing by his window what he would do if he found a wallet with some money inside and the wallet had a clear sign indicating the owner. The fellow responded dutifully, “I would return it!” “Fool!” exclaimed the Rebbe. The next fellow when questioned answered, “Why I would keep it!” “Thief!” cried the Rebbe. A third gentleman said, “I don’t know what I would do, Rebbe, but I hope and pray I would have the moral resolve and strength to do the right thing and return it.” “That man” the Rebbe agreed, “is truly wise.”

Yosef was not visited, magically or mysteriously with some Macbethian ghost like visage of his holy father, in the nick of time. He had prepared his whole life, installing this image in his mind. All the while he was away from home he labored to keep that picture front and center, as his screen saver, so as not to disappointment himself by doing that which his father would never agree to. Not only is that authentic honoring of one’s father but it’s also wisdom in action.

 

DvarTorah, Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Label Lam and Torah.org.