All the Good that Was Done

Parshas Chayei Sarah

Posted on November 10, 2023 (5784) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah| Level: Beginner

…and Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to cry for her. And Abraham arose from before his dead, and he spoke to the sons of Heth, saying, “I am a stranger and an inhabitant with you. Give me burial property with you, so that I may bury my dead from before me.” (Breishis 23: 3-4)

 

To eulogize Sarah and to cry for her: The account of Sarah’s demise was juxtaposed to the binding of Yitzchok because as a result of the news of the “binding,” that her son was prepared for slaughter and was almost slaughtered, her soul flew out of her, and she died. — Rashi

Avraham Avinu endured ten great tests in his lifetime and most probably millions of micro tests as well. Most everyone agrees, however, that the height of heights, the test of all tests, was when Avraham was told to bring his son, his only son, the son he loved, Yitzchok to be brought up for an offering at the Akeida. Yet, Rabeinu Yona counts the purchase of a burial plot for Sarah as the 10th test. How is anything a test after the Akeida?

 

A little more than a week ago I was invited to speak at a meeting of local Rabbanim who were gathering to lend support and encouragement to the county DA that was up for election, Mr. Tom Walsh. He was visibly shaken up because he had taken a principled position in favor of a Jew that some other local authorities desperately wanted to make an example of. Since making his unpopular decision he and his staff were subjected to intimidation and threats. This was all very new and uncomfortable for him. I think they asked me to speak because they felt I could relate to this old Irishman best with my all-American background. It comes in handy once in a while.

 

I told him, “Tom, I want to speak a language that I don’t think the Rabanim here will understand, but you will. I would like to tell you about one of my greatest heroes. He was most famous for what he didn’t do. At the turn of the century Sport Illustrated crowned him the athlete of the century. He was disproportionately more successful in his game than any other athlete in their sport. A Jewish boy, a baseball pitcher for the Brooklyn and Los Angeles Dodgers, Sandy Koufax.

 

In 1965 he didn’t pitch in the 1st game of the world series which fell on the holiest of days, Yom Kippur.

 

In spite of all his athletic accomplishments, when you look him up on Wikipedia already in the 2nd line it is written that he didn’t pitch in the 1st game of the world series in 1965 because it fell out on Yom Kippur. His behavior sent a shockwave down the spine of the Jewish people and the entire world. He delivered a message, “There is something more important than baseball”. I was also an aspiring baseball pitcher and this stirred around within me for a long time and made a huge difference in my life. You can only imagine the pushback and heat he took from teammates and management and fans. Some people, the Talmud tells us, acquire their entire world in one move. I don’t know what else he did with his life but this single deed will stand out forever.

 

Mr. Walsh, Tom, by taking a principled stance and doing what is just and right, you are now facing the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and I know it’s not easy. What you did sent a shockwave across Rockland County and delivered a message that, “There is something more important than politics”. Some people earn their entire world in one move. I want you to do me a favor, Mr. Walsh and that is, please do not regret for a moment what you have done. You have a giant diamond. It is priceless. The more you struggle because of what you did, the more valuable that diamond becomes. You have something more than the endorsement of these Rabbanim and the Jewish community. You have a blessing from the Creator of Heaven and Earth!”

 

Why did I ask him not to regret what he did? The Rambam writes that just as someone can erase a sin with regret, so too a person can erase a Mitzvah with regret. A wealthy businessman once told me that he knows someone who gave away tens of millions of dollars to Tzedaka and then his fortunes reversed. He heard a little voice chirping in his head saying, “If only you had not given away all that money you would have plenty now!” He shouted at that voice, “QUIET!”

 

He never gave it another thought. It would not bring his money back but it might erase the merit of all he had achieved. So it was that Avraham lost Sarah because of the Akeida, Rashi tells us. He had to tell that voice chirping in his head, “QUIET!” Sadness won’t bring Sarah back and regret may undo all the good that was done!

 

Be a Window Not a Pane

Parshas Chayei Sarah

Posted on November 18, 2022 (5783) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah| Level: Beginner

 And [food] was set before him to eat, but he said, “I will not eat until I have spoken my words.”

 

And he said, “Speak. “And he said, “I am a servant of Avraham!” (Breishis 24:33-34)

This is one of the most remarkable accounts in the entire Torah. Rashi says it all when the Torah begins to record Eliezer’s repetition of the narrative we just read about. “Rabbi Acha said:

 

The ordinary conversation of the servants of the Patriarchs is more beloved before the Omnipresent than the Torah of their sons, for the section dealing with Eliezer is repeated in the Torah, whereas many fundamentals of the Torah were given only through allusions.” Yes, Eliezer gets more airtime in the Torah than almost anybody else. How is that possible? Why is that so? What are we to learn from the fact that this man whom Avraham deemed unworthy to have his daughter marry Yitzchok, is still so revered in the Torah?! Eliezer was from a cursed lineage. He would have been voted in his high school class least likely to be featured in the Holy Torah and yet here he is dominating the stage. What is this all about!? What do we learn!?

 

One important factor here is revealed by the fact that Eliezer’s name is not mentioned even once in the entire episode. He only refers to himself as the servant of Avraham. This is the summary of his identity. He is not playing the role of himself. He is not acting as the authentic man expressing his raw feelings and doing what he pleases. Just the opposite is true.

 

He has totally quieted and subdued his ego and sublimated his own wishes to his master, Avraham. He is a messenger and a loyal extension of Avraham. It is as if we are watching and listening to Avraham. He has made himself into a vessel to accomplish only what Avraham wants. Eliezer himself is almost non-existent and by choice he has rendered his own personal agenda worthless in comparison to Avraham’s mission. He is such a big hero because he has made himself into a zero!

 

Years ago, I was asked to be a master of ceremonies – MC at a Yeshiva Dinner. It’s not my flavor or style at all and neither am I comfortable as a guest speaker at these types of gatherings. I would rather be eating chicken and listening to other people and even write a check just to avoid that stage. In this case I could not say “no” and so under duress I agreed.

 

I reviewed and studied my role as the MC and in my opening marks I declared, “The job of the MC is to be a window and not a pane, to allow the light of the main featured speakers to shine through. I’m not sure I succeeded but at least I understood where there was room for me to fail. What is most memorable and helpful to me is that definition of that definition of an MC. Be a window and not a pane/pain!

 

That’s what it means to be an Eved – a Servant, and an Eved HASHEM a Servant of HASHEM. Reb Yeruchem Levovitz writes in one of his Mussar Essays on Pesach that the measure of a Jew, the truest indicator of his greatness, is how big of an Eved HASHEM he is. The Jewish People did not exit Mitzraim to become free. That is less than half the story. We became available to become servants of HASHEM.

 

Eliezer was from that segment of Noach’s children that was cursed that they would be servants.

 

It’s not a pure curse and a punishment. It’s a recommendation for a cure. They would need guidance and coaching to shape them from without. Left to their own devices they would tend to self-destructive and antisocial behaviors. With proper training and an infusion of strong moral values they can be polished and formed into disciplined, marine-like soldiers and reliable citizens. Without a regimen, in the absence of a serious system of training, they will likely disassemble and backslide into disrepair and despair.

 

Not only does HE require that structure, a teacher, a community, a Torah, a G-d, we the Jewish People need it even more so. Without it, we are at great risk and so is the world around us. That is also evident! With those features in place, our substance has true form. We stand a chance of being a blessing as Avraham was promised. It’s not a birthright as much as it is a birth opportunity.

 

How do we do this? Simple as a dimple! The Ramchal writes in Derech Etz Chaim that a person should take some time each day to contemplate what Avraham and Moshe and Dovid did to attract the attention of HASHEM. What did Eliezer do? He made himself a zero. He did his job.

 

He made himself into a window to allow the light of Avraham to shine through and so our job is to become a window, to polish that window, and to allow the light of HASHEM to shine through us to the whole world. Be a window not a pane!

 

The Completion of Life

Parshas Chayei Sarah

Posted on November 8, 2023 (5784) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

Sleek sports cars, trendy clothing, hip hairstyles. So many middle aged and even old people are pre-occupied with these things, trying to make themselves look young and up-to-the-minute.

 

Why has old age come to be perceived in modern-day society as a liability? Why are fifty-year-olds considered over-the-hill? Surely, most middle-aged people, if given the choice, want to exchange places with a teenager. The quality of their lives is usually far superior to that of a teenager. It would seem obvious that these people are not really seeking youth, only the appearance of youth. But again, why should they want to delude themselves in this way?

 

Let us focus on the opening verse of this week’s parshah, which is called Chayei Sarah, the Lifetime of Sarah. The Torah begins by telling us that Sarah lived for one hundred and twenty-seven years and follows immediately with an account of Sarah’s death. Why then is the parshah called the “Lifetime” of Sarah?

 

The answer goes to the heart of the Torah’s perspective on time. Unfortunately, many of us have been conditioned to view time as an adversary. We look in the mirror and see a gray hair, and suddenly we feel panic. We are getting old! As the birthdays pile up into the higher numbers, they start to bring feelings of depression rather than joy. Some of us even lie about our ages. Why? Because we feel we are losing something, that our grip on this wonderful thing called life is slipping away. And so we devise all sorts of clever schemes and stratagems to escape the tick of the clock. But whether or not we listen, the clock never ceases to tick.

 

In the view of the Torah, however, time is infinitely precious, and each moment has enormous value for itself. Life is a long progression of small units of time which are infused with value by the experience of living itself – by the wisdom we gain, the people whose lives we enrich, the spiritual growth we achieve. The Torah encourages us to do the best we can with these precious moments of our lives, to fashion them into jewels and ornaments to carry with us forever. Death is not the destruction of life. It is the completion of life.

 

A beachcomber once went down to the shore at the break of dawn, carrying an empty sack over his shoulder. For hours, he picked through the flotsam and jetsam that had washed up onto the beach, filling his sack with pretty seashells and anything else of value he could find. The sun beat down on him mercilessly, but he continued to work. By early afternoon, his sack was full. He was thoroughly exhausted but satisfied.

 

As he set off for home, he met a newly-arrived beachcomber carrying an empty sack. The newcomer looked at the first beachcomber and sneered.

“Look at you!” he said. “Your face is red. Your hair is matted. Your clothes are soaked with sweat. You are bent over like an old man. And look at me! I am fresh as a cucumber. Wouldn’t you love to exchange places with me?”

 

“Are you kidding?” the first beachcomber replied. “Didn’t you notice the full sack on my shoulder? If I changed places with you, I would have to start all over again filling that empty sack of yours. How would I be better off?”

 

This is the Torah’s perspective. Life has a destination and goals, things to be accomplished, growth to be achieved. Therefore, age rather youth must be valued. The Torah commands us, “You must stand up before the elderly.” The elderly, regardless of scholarship and piety, are laden with valuables, while the “sacks” of the young are still empty. Each year of life yields wisdom and experience that the most accomplished young person cannot possibly attain. It is true that youth is bursting with strength and vigor, but a person’s worth is not to be measured by physical endowments. The body is but an accessory of the soul, and the spiritual growth of old age enriches the soul.

 

Our matriarch Sarah lived with this perspective. Every moment was molded with loving care into a precious jewel to be carried with her – and to be enjoyed by her descendants – for all eternity. In this light, her death marked the completion of her journey and the full illumination of the “Lifetime of Sarah.”

 

If we integrate these ideas into our own lives, we will find that we have much more happiness – and much more time. We must give value and meaning to the years we spend on this earth, filling them with honesty, integrity, love, kindness, study and spirituality. Let us learn to appreciate the value of life. Let us be the beneficiaries of Sarah’s legacy – to live a lifetime.

 

Text Copyright © 2006 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanebaum Education Center.