Choosing Life, Every Day

Parshas Reeh

Posted on August 6, 2021 (5781) By Rabbi Yaakov Menken | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner

Our reading this week begins, “See I have placed before you today blessing and curse. The blessing, if you listen to the Commandments of Hashem your G-d, which I have Commanded you this day. And the curse, if you will not listen to the Commandments of Hashem your G-d, and turn away from the path which I have Commanded you this day, to go after other gods which you have not known.” [Deut. 11:26-28]

 

The Yalkut Shimoni says that someone might say: “since Hashem placed two paths in front of me, that of life and that of death, I will travel whichever I wish.” To him the verse says, “and you shall choose life.” [Deut. 30:19]

 

This seems hard to understand. Self-preservation is a natural instinct; we fear death. Why does the verse need to tell us, “and you shall choose life”? I don’t need to be told twice to get out of the road! The Yalkut offers a parable:

 

It is like a person sitting at a fork in the road, with two paths in front of him: one begins with smooth ground and ends up among thorns, and one that begins with thorns but ends with smooth ground. And he informs passersby and says to them: what you see as a smooth path, for two or three steps it will be smooth, but in the end you will be among thorns. And what you see as a path that begins with thorns, for two or three steps you will walk among thorns, but in the end will be on smooth ground.

The Yalkut is explaining to us that what is described as “the curse” doesn’t look bad. On the contrary, it looks more attractive! It looks easier and more interesting initially to to go on that path, when it actually leads to pain and destruction. That is why the Torah must tell us to make the right choice, because it often means doing what seems at the outset to be more difficult and painful.

 

In reality, we have to make choices like this every day. At the beginning of Chayei Sarah [Gen. 23:1], we read that Sarah’s lifetime was “100 years and twenty years and seven years.” Rashi tells us that the repetition of years is to use each to teach a lesson. In Jewish thought, a person is held responsible in Heaven for actions after the age of twenty. The Medrash explains that Sarah at 100 years was as free of sin as she was at twenty. Every day, she chose the right path.

 

This coming week, we enter the month of Elul, leading up to Rosh Hashanah, the New Year, the Day of Judgment. This is the season when we pay special attention to the choices we have been making, trying to improve upon them for the future.

 

Part of being human is that we make mistakes. None of us is perfect, so all of us can find things we might have done better, and which we can do better in the future. The question, then, is whether we learn from our mistakes! Repentance gives us an opportunity to get ourselves off the path leading into the thorns, and back onto solid ground. May we use this Elul to get out of the thorns, dust ourselves off, and place ourselves back on the straight path.

 

 

 

 

Laughing All the Way to the Bank

Parshas Eikev

Posted on August 7, 2020 (5780) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

…and you will say to yourself, “My strength and the might of my hand that has accumulated this wealth for me.” But you must remember the Lord your G-d, for it is He that gives you strength to make wealth, in order to establish His covenant which He swore to your forefathers, as it is this day. (Devarim 8:18)

 

There is a very grave danger, and perhaps the greatest danger that is highlighted and emphasized, and hammered time and time again. What is that gravest of all dangers? Forgetting about HASHEM! We are all at risk and at all times regardless of the external condition in which we find ourselves.

 

The Ramchal gives this description of the human condition; “Thus, we see that man is truly placed in the midst of a raging battlefield. For all matters of this world, whether for the good or for the bad, are trials for a man; Poverty from one side or wealth from the other. This is as Shlomo said: “Lest I be satiated, and deny You, and say, Who is G-d? or lest I be poor, and steal…” (Prov.30:9). Tranquility on the one hand and suffering on the other… until the battle is being waged against him from the front and from behind!”

 

What looks like the worst situation may actually be the best and the best the worst. It matters more what we do with each of the ever changing circumstances of life. There was a book written about tennis called, “The Inner Game”. This is what matters most. Does my inner response to whatever the surroundings bring me closer or farther away from HASHEM?! That is the question!

 

There’s an odd expression that goes like this, “Nothing fails like success!” I think that maybe now we cannot understand it from this angle. Wealth may even be a bigger test than poverty, although we have been crying out for generations now, “TEST ME!” Looking at the landscape of many materially successful Jewish people in the last few decades, we would have to wonder if wealth brought enough of them and their families closer to HASHEM. No one can know! Everyone can ponder!

 

The Sefer Orchas Tzadikim outlines three reasons why a person might be treated to wealth in this world and then he provides a sign, a way of telling which of these reasons most likely applies. Someone might become rich as 1) a punishment 2) a test or 3) a blessing.

What might indicate that it is a punishment? The person’s suffering and perhaps even his ultimate demise is because of all that money. He falls out of harmony with his children or his wife or his friends.

 

He takes on new habits of indulgence that eventually are the cause of death. How often do we hear about people who were stricken with “sudden wealth syndrome” for having won the lottery or getting a giant signing bonus and not only does the money not solve their problems, it amplifies them by millions.

 

A husband and wife janitorial team, married and working together for 40 years win the lottery and what happens!? Two years and two wives later he falls of his yacht with a high alcohol and drug content in veins in what the police are calling, based upon insufficient evidence, an accident.

 

What would show that it is a test? He cannot spend on himself or anybody else either. He is paralyzed with fear of losing the sum. He obsesses on his investments and lives a miserly existence.

 

He cannot give charity and neither can he gives himself permission to splurge on himself. The money holds him more than he holds the money.

 

How does one know if wealth is given as a blessing? He is busy using his wealth to accomplish more and more good for himself and others. He hires an assistant to watch his affairs so he can spend more time learning.

 

He actively seeks out Tzedaka and Mitzvah opportunities in which he can happily invest without expecting returns in this world. With this attitude he rejoices as someone who is truly laughing all the way to the bank!

 

 

The Soul Purpose

Parshas Vaeschanan

Posted on July 22, 2021 (5781) By Mordechai Dixler | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner

 

Health is always a relevant topic, but recently it has been the overarching topic on the minds of practically all of humanity. That, we’ve learned, is pandemic life.

 

Besides the survival instinct that compels us to make healthy choices, many may be surprised to hear that staying healthy is also a Mitzvah (commandment) stated in the Torah, albeit not explicitly.

 

Moses, in his lengthy discourse before his passing, exhorts the Jewish people not to forget the revelation at Mt. Sinai and the giving of the Torah. On this he says, “Vnishmartem M’eod L’Nafshoseichem – Guard your souls, very much (Deut. 4:15).” The Talmud (Brachos 32b) cites this as the source for watching your health.

 

Now, this seems odd. Not only is this not an explicit commandment to watch your health, it seems to have nothing at all to do with physical health — only spiritual health!

 

Let’s translate the verse above more carefully, and literally: “Vnishmartem M’eod L’Nafshoseichem – And you should guard, very much, for your souls.” The guarding Moses referred to was something for your soul, not of the soul. From here the Sages derive that Moses’ instructions were to do a service for the soul. What sort of watching is a service one can do for their soul? They can watch their health! (See Netziv in Ha’emek Davar)

 

The Torah did not need to tell us to watch our health merely to survive. That’s a natural instinct. Indeed, some have this instinctive drive more than others! The lesson is to channel and enhance that drive for a higher purpose. Eat healthy, exercise, (and vaccinate) so you can have the strength, intellect, and extra days and years to pursue spiritual goals in full capacity.

 

Mountain of Faith

Parshas Vaeschanan

Posted on July 25, 2018 (5778) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha | Level: Beginner

 

There is a fascinating sequence of verses in this week’s portion which tell us that it is our responsibility to remember more than just the Commandments, but the manner in which they were given. Moshe exhorts the nation, “Now, Israel, listen to the decrees and the mandates that I teach you to observe. You shall not add to them nor subtract. See I have taught you decrees and ordinances as Hashem commanded me.” Moshe warns the nation to “safeguard and perform them, for they are your wisdom and discernment in the eyes of the nations who will hear all the decrees and declare that surely this is a wise and sagacious nation” ( cf. Deuteronomy 2:1-9). What follows is a warning to remember the scenario of Sinai. And though its remembrance would seem much less significant than that of the observance of the laws themselves, the Torah uses stronger terminology in reminding us. “Only beware for yourselves and heed your very souls, lest you forget the words that your eyes saw and lest you remove them from your heart. You must make them known to your children and your children’s children the day you stood before Hashem at Chorev” (Deuteronomy 2:9-11). Moshe continues to remind the Jews of the fiery scenario and the awe-filled events of the revelation at Mount Sinai.

 

What bothers me is a simple question. If Moshe already impressed upon his nation the importance of the actual laws, if he already explained to them that it is those commands that will inspire other nations to marvel at the brilliance and veracity of the Jews, then why is the scene at Sinai such an integral part of the faith? Why is the warning both to the Jews and their souls seemingly stronger concerning the revelation scenario, greater than that of the admonition to obey the complex laws of the Torah?

 

A prominent Rosh Yeshiva lived next door to the simple clerk of his celebrated yeshiva. The Rabbi had scores of people visiting him asking him advice for the most difficult complexities, Talmudic or otherwise. The clerk did his job in the yeshiva office and attended to the needs of the Rosh Yeshiva, faithfully and devotedly.

 

Both of them had sons. The revered Rabbi’s son did not follow in his father’s footsteps. He became a professor, in a secular university, something that brought consternation to his father. As a young man he began to shine in the yeshiva world and was well on his way to become a Torah luminary.

 

One day, after the Rosh Yeshiva’s son, attired in the casual uniform of a secular intellectual, visited his father at the Yeshiva, an intellectual debate ensued between the two. When the professor left, the Rosh Yeshiva had let out a short sigh of frustration, whispering something about the difficulty in raising children to follow one’s ideals.

 

One of the rabbis in the Yeshiva approached his mentor. “Rebbe,” he meekly began. “I don’t understand. The secretary of the Yeshiva merited to have his children become brilliant and devoted Torah scholars. What did he do so special that his sons are so strongly committed to Torah study?”

 

The Rosh Yeshiva did not let him continue. “I do not know for sure,” he answered. “But one thing I can tell you. At my Shabbos table I was discussing questions on Maimonides writings and Talmudic difficulties. He was singing zemiros (songs of faith and devotion).”

 

The Torah exhorts us to keep the laws as they will inspire others to marvel at Jewish wisdom.

 

But Moshe adds the finality of the argument. Do not ever forget that we stood at Mount Sinai, saw the fire and heard G-d’s voice! The intellectual analyzing, even actual observance, is, of course , of utmost importance. But nothing supercedes the simple faith of the G-d fearing Jew who traces his steps to the foot of the mountain.

 

The Chasid Rav Yosef Ya’avetz. one of the great rabbis who was exiled during the Spanish Inquisition, writes that Jews whose observance was based on intellectualism withered in the face of Torquemada’s torments. The simple Jews with simple faith remained loyal and steadfast throughout. It is obviously important to think, to rationalize and to perform. But Moshe tells us to watch ourselves and our souls lest we forget what really happened some 3,300 years ago. Because when we look for the bottom line, it’s at the bottom of the mountain.

 

Good Shabbos

 

Copyright © 1998 by Rabbi M. Kamenetzky and Project Genesis, Inc.

 

Being Part of the Winning Team

Parshas Devarim

Posted on July 16, 2018 (5778) By Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier | Series: The Shmuz on the Parsha | Level: Intermediate Beginner

 

“HASHEM our G-d has spoken to us in Chorev, saying, “You have had much dwelling by this mountain.” — Devarim 1:6

 

On the first day of Sivan, the Jewish people encamped at Har Sinai. Five days later, they received the Torah. They then remained at Har Sinai. Much time was to pass and many events were to transpire before they would begin their travels through the Midbar.

 

Thirty-eight years later, when the Torah recounts the time spent at Har Sinai, it uses the expression, “You have had much dwelling by this mountain.” Rashi explains this to mean, “There is much reward for your having dwelt at this mountain. While you were there, you acquired much importance and reward. You built the Mishkan, the Menorah and the holy vessels. You received the Torah, and you appointed the Sanhedrin.”

 

This Rashi is difficult to understand. Moshe Rabbeinu is addressing the entire nation and saying that the years in the Midbar were great for all of them. Every one of the Jewish people received greatness and reward for being there. Yet only a small number of the people actually constructed the Mishkan, and none of them appointed the Sanhedrin. How are they rewarded for what they didn’t do?

 

The answer to this can best be understood with a parable.

 

The Super Bowl ring

 

In America today, entertainment is taken very, very seriously. And probably no event looms larger than the Super Bowl. Receiving more coverage and more notice than any religious event or national holiday, this is the event of the year. The build-up begins months ahead of time, and it’s pervasive. In supermarkets, on billboards, on t-shirts, and in magazines, the big game is touted with pictures of players and offers of memorabilia. Everyone wants to be a part of the hype.

 

On Super Bowl Sunday itself, life seems to stop. Over one hundred million people watch the game. About half of the households in the country show it in their living rooms and dens.

 

Needless to say, being on a Super Bowl team is the highlight of an athlete’s life, and being on the winning team means being a part of history. One of the trophies the winners receive is the Super Bowl ring. Typically, the ring is diamond-encrusted and large enough to bear the Super Bowl inscription, the winning team’s name and logo, and the year of the game.

In 2014, the Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl. This was their first victory ever, and to celebrate, they hired Tiffany’s to hand-craft each Super Bowl ring. The famed jewelry company produced a masterpiece.

 

In the past, Super Bowl rings sold for close to $250,000.00, but this was in a class by itself. Set in white gold with over 107 round diamonds and 40 sapphires lining the top, it is enough to make a jewelry enthusiast drool. Tiffany’s refused to give a value on the ring, saying, “It’s truly priceless.”

 

The question, though, was: who gets a ring? Certainly, the eleven starting players would each receive one. The other fifty or so players who suit up for the game are also part of the team, so each of them should receive a ring as well. But there are also coaches, trainers, executives, and general staff. They too are part of the success, and so they should receive one. In the end, the Seahawks gave a ring to every full-time employee of the organization. All told, four hundred Super Bowl rings were distributed — because all those people were part of the team.

 

All members of the team

 

This seems to be the answer to the question on Rashi. The Torah is telling us that we are all members of one nation. Whether you’re the Gadol HaDor or a simple tailor, you’re a Jew, and every Jew is part of one unit. For good or for bad, we are together. Only too often, we have been punished as a group, but we are also rewarded as a group. What Moshe was saying to the people of that generation was, “During your lifetime these things were accomplished, and you are all a part of it. The nation as a whole is credited with the building of the Mishkan and the establishment of the Sanhedrin. You are all part of the nation, so you receive reward.”

 

This concept is very applicable to us. In our day, we have seen a resurgence of Torah study that might well be unprecedented in history. Since the great yeshivahs of Sura and Pumpedisa, there haven’t been these many men learning Torah full-time. And we are all a part of that.

 

Whether I learn in the Mir in Yerushalyim, Bais Medrash Govoah in Lakewood, or in Ponevezh or Chofetz Chaim, or even if I have never set foot into a yeshivah in my life, I am part of this nation. This nation is ascending. This nation has rebuilt Torah institutions. This nation has recreated its own culture and its own ways. We have our own magazines and radio programs, our own authors and songwriters — we have experienced the rebirth of a Torah Nation. And all of this in the turbulent waters of a conflicted society that constantly pulls at us to join in its march of emptiness and frivolity. That society pulls at our youth, and it pulls at our men and women, but despite all its efforts, we have remained loyal to the Torah way. The nation of Yisrael is on the rise, and we are all a part of it. In that sense, we are to be rewarded.

 

May HASHEM speedily bring forth our final Redemption.

 

Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the Shmuz.com – The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues.

 

The Stuff of Real Life

Parshas Masei

Posted on July 6, 2021 (5781) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

 

This week’s Torah portion concludes with an overview of the Jewish nation’s wanderings in the wilderness, as well as key laws and preparations associated with their inheriting the land.

 

Moshe Rabbeinu designated six Levite cities, three in Eretz Yisrael and three in Trans-Jordan, as cities of refuge where an accidental murderer can escape an avenger from the victim’s family.

 

Although his act of homicide was not premeditated, the Torah considers him culpable for being negligent, and not adequately protecting another’s life. The time he spends in the Ir Miklat will enable him to realign his values and correct the habits that led to his negligent behavior. The Levite city was the ideal place to achieve this rehabilitation. The Levites were landless and wholly devoted to teaching and guiding their fellow Jews. Even while in Egypt, the Levites were preoccupied with spiritual advancement, and distanced themselves from the pursuit of material prosperity.

 

Their conduct was emblematic of the highest degree of moral responsibility. Living among people of this caliber would re-educate and sensitize the murderer to the supreme sanctity of human life.

 

The Talmud asks why were there precisely the exact number of “refuge” cities in Trans Jordan as there were in Israel? After all, Trans Jordan was only home to two and a half tribes, while the remaining nine lived in Israel. Why not distribute the cities of refuge in a way that would more accurately reflect the demographics?

 

The Talmud answers that in Trans Jordan there were more homicides and the population’s sensitivity to human life became diminished. The likelihood of accidental murder was therefore greater. The average citizen was less conscious of the need to exert himself to the utmost to protect his fellow Jew; he would be more likely to pursue his own needs at the expense of his fellow citizen.

 

The great sage R’ Itzel of Volozhin offers a different interpretation of the Talmud’s assertion that bloodshed was more prevalent in Trans-Jordan, thus requiring more cities of refuge in that region. The problem, he explains, lay not in the higher incidences of accidental homicide in Trans-Jordan but in the over-eagerness to avenge it. Since the inhabitants of Ever HaYarden were less sensitive to murder, it was far more likely that an accidental killer would be pursued by a family member driven to exact vengeance for unsavory reasons. The Torah therefore provided the perpetrator with more immediate access to an Ir Miklat.

The culture of tolerance toward bloodshed would delude people into thinking they were motivated by moral principles in trying to avenge their relative’s death, when all too often they were simply trying to even the score with a hapless fellow Jew.

 

The underlying message of the portion is that nothing affects our mindset and value system more than our social environment. We are all conditioned by repeated and constant exposure to the prevailing culture. Harmful outside influences can easily pollute our ability to distinguish right from wrong and can easily desensitize us from appreciating the value and sanctity of every humans life.

 

This underscores the importance of ensuring that our homes are bastions of light, joy and an appreciation for the kedusha of Klal Yisroel. These values must permeate the atmosphere to the point where they are imprinted on the minds and hearts of our children. Only by building our homes according to the Torah’s blueprint can we turn them into lighthouses of positive energy. They will thus become the miniature ‘cities of refuge’ that will protect ourselves and our families from the steady onslaught of moral decay and corruption in the surrounding culture.

 

Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos

Rabbi Naftali Reich Text Copyright © 2014 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanenbaum Education Center.

 

 

 

In Control

Parshas Pinchas

Posted on June 29, 2021 (5781) By Rabbi Yochanan Zweig | Series: Rabbi Zweig on the Parsha | Level: Intermediate Beginner

“On the seventeenth of Tammuz the Tablets were broken” (Ta’anis 26a)

 

Five calamities occurred on the seventeenth of Tammuz. The first of these calamities is recorded in the Torah. Upon descending the mountain after having received the Decalogue, Moshe witnessed Bnei Yisroel celebrating the creation of the golden calf and he shattered the Tablets[1]. The verse describes the Tablets as “charus” – “engraved[2].” The Mishna states that the word “charus” can also be read as “cheirus” – “freedom”, for only the study of Torah brings true freedom[3]. Therefore, the breaking of the Tablets reflects a loss of freedom for the Jewish people[4]. What is the difference between the secular definition of freedom and that of the Torah? How do we reconcile the “pshat”, the straightforward reading of the text as “charus” – “engraved”, with the “derush”, the homiletic interpretation as “cheirus” – “freedom”?

 

Freedom is often defined as our right or privilege to act or express ourselves without coercion in whichever manner we desire. The Torah’s definition of freedom is cognizant of the fact that very often we behave in a manner which hides under the guise of freedom of expression, yet in reality we are submitting to coercive forces. Whether our actions are influenced by societal pressures or by our physical or emotional desires, these actions cannot be described as completely free from coercion. We ourselves are aware of the destructive nature of our actions but are helpless to overcome the deceptions of societal acceptance and self-gratification. The pursuit of Torah not only empowers the individual with the ability to overcome any coercive forces, but also removes the conflict that exists in the decision making process, synthesizing the individual’s visceral sense to behave appropriately with his desires. Being bound by restrictions does not imply a lack of freedom; restrictions are not only ultimately for our benefit, but they prevent us from taking actions which we truly wish to avoid.

 

The words of the Decalogue (10 Commandments) symbolize spirituality and the Tablets themselves, that which is physical. Had the Decalogue been described as ink, which is scripted upon parchment, this would imply imposition of the words upon the Tablets. Chazal teach us that Hashem miraculously caused the letters of the Decalogue to suspend themselves within the Tablets. The Tablets wrapped themselves around the words, conforming to them[5]. This reflects the complimentary nature of the physical and the spiritual which can coexist without any conflict.

 

We all have a natural tendency to behave in an appropriate manner. The Torah removes the impediments that mask our true feelings, breaking through the misconceptions and misguided value system which society creates for us.

 

It Takes a Family…

Parshas Pinchas

Posted on July 14, 2017 (5777) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

These were the numbers of the Levites according to their families: the family of the Gershonites from Gershon, the family of the Kohathites from Kohath, the family of the Merarites from Merari. These were the families of Levi: the family of the Libnites, the family of the Hebronites, the family of the Mahlites, the family of the Mushites, the family of the Korahites and Kehat begot Amram. (Bamidbar 26:57-58)

 

I think I detect a theme. In these two verses the word or some derivative of this word is used 10 times, “MISHPACHA”- “family”. The Nation of Israel is built almost entirely on this single organizational principle, family. Therefore it might prove worthwhile to gain an appreciation of the meaning of that one Hebrew word, “MISHPACHA”.

 

The word MISHPACHA is related to the word SHIFCHA which oddly means a maidservant. How does that help define a family?

 

A senior colleague told me that that when he was a young man pursuing his doctorate in philosophy a professor made the bold declaration; “The Jewish Bible is the source of human rights in the world!” All of the students diligently wrote it down in their notebooks but this curious fellow who was the only Jew in the class, promptly approached the teacher and challenged him, “Where is it written in the Jewish Bible any verse that promises human rights?”

 

The professor wondered if he in fact agreed with his claim that the Jewish Bible is the source of human rights in the world. The student agreed wholeheartedly. He was merely curious as to what the source might be.

 

This was a case of the student giving the teacher a homework assignment. A week later he came back to class and admitted that he could not find a single verse that supported his statement. He was mystified. Everybody in the history department agreed. The literature department, and the sociology department agreed too. So, he fed the question back to his student, “Maybe you have the answer!”

 

This budding young scholar answered as follows: “Let’s take for example one verse, that great-general principle in the Torah “And you should love your neighbor as your-self!” The implication of that statement is that everyone has a right to be loved. When I walk into a room, since you are all obligated to love me, I have a right to be loved! The only difference is that the Torah never came as a “bill of rights” but rather as a “bill of responsibilities””.

 

Imagine how much more love exists in a relationship when both parties know what they owe in love as opposed to when each demands that their rights be met. How much more love is in the room when every member of a family knows that they are duty bound to love and happily contribute. How much greater is an entire community or a nation when it is composed of individuals who live up to this universal notion and categorical imperative to “love your neighbor as your-self”!

 

A family is a place where people learn to serve each other. On any given Erev Shabbos someone is sweeping and someone else is polishing shoes, while another person is peeling potatoes. Everyone contributes! A family is a microcosm of a whole world and is its most fundamental building block. How so? It is the training ground that prepares people for life in the greater community. Each home has its own signature style, and cultural flavor, but this quality of serving others is an immutable standard.

 

How important is a family? When my wife and I were just beginning to look for a match for our oldest son, we decided to call my Rebbe for guidelines. He is a huge Talmud scholar and he had already married off 13 children. We were ready for a long list. He answered the phone and we explained the reason for our call. He said without hesitation and emphatically, “Look for a family! A girl comes from a family!” I asked, “Is there anything else?” He said, “No! That’s it! Good night!” We were stunned. Some have said “it takes a village to raise a child” but I think we can declare with certainty and appreciate the simple fact it takes a family…

 

It Takes a Family…

Parshas Pinchas

Posted on July 14, 2017 (5777) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

These were the numbers of the Levites according to their families: the family of the Gershonites from Gershon, the family of the Kohathites from Kohath, the family of the Merarites from Merari. These were the families of Levi: the family of the Libnites, the family of the Hebronites, the family of the Mahlites, the family of the Mushites, the family of the Korahites and Kehat begot Amram. (Bamidbar 26:57-58)

 

I think I detect a theme. In these two verses the word or some derivative of this word is used 10 times, “MISHPACHA”- “family”. The Nation of Israel is built almost entirely on this single organizational principle, family. Therefore it might prove worthwhile to gain an appreciation of the meaning of that one Hebrew word, “MISHPACHA”.

 

The word MISHPACHA is related to the word SHIFCHA which oddly means a maidservant. How does that help define a family?

 

A senior colleague told me that that when he was a young man pursuing his doctorate in philosophy a professor made the bold declaration; “The Jewish Bible is the source of human rights in the world!” All of the students diligently wrote it down in their notebooks but this curious fellow who was the only Jew in the class, promptly approached the teacher and challenged him, “Where is it written in the Jewish Bible any verse that promises human rights?”

 

The professor wondered if he in fact agreed with his claim that the Jewish Bible is the source of human rights in the world. The student agreed wholeheartedly. He was merely curious as to what the source might be.

 

This was a case of the student giving the teacher a homework assignment. A week later he came back to class and admitted that he could not find a single verse that supported his statement. He was mystified. Everybody in the history department agreed. The literature department, and the sociology department agreed too. So, he fed the question back to his student, “Maybe you have the answer!”

 

This budding young scholar answered as follows: “Let’s take for example one verse, that great-general principle in the Torah “And you should love your neighbor as your-self!” The implication of that statement is that everyone has a right to be loved. When I walk into a room, since you are all obligated to love me, I have a right to be loved! The only difference is that the Torah never came as a “bill of rights” but rather as a “bill of responsibilities””.

 

Imagine how much more love exists in a relationship when both parties know what they owe in love as opposed to when each demands that their rights be met. How much more love is in the room when every member of a family knows that they are duty bound to love and happily contribute. How much greater is an entire community or a nation when it is composed of individuals who live up to this universal notion and categorical imperative to “love your neighbor as your-self”!

 

A family is a place where people learn to serve each other. On any given Erev Shabbos someone is sweeping and someone else is polishing shoes, while another person is peeling potatoes. Everyone contributes! A family is a microcosm of a whole world and is its most fundamental building block. How so? It is the training ground that prepares people for life in the greater community. Each home has its own signature style, and cultural flavor, but this quality of serving others is an immutable standard.

 

How important is a family? When my wife and I were just beginning to look for a match for our oldest son, we decided to call my Rebbe for guidelines. He is a huge Talmud scholar and he had already married off 13 children. We were ready for a long list. He answered the phone and we explained the reason for our call. He said without hesitation and emphatically, “Look for a family! A girl comes from a family!” I asked, “Is there anything else?” He said, “No! That’s it! Good night!” We were stunned. Some have said “it takes a village to raise a child” but I think we can declare with certainty and appreciate the simple fact it takes a family…