The Moment We Quit Trying

Parshas Shemini

Posted on April 24, 2025 (5785) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

 

And the pig, because it has a cloven hoof that is completely split, but will not regurgitate its cud; it is unclean for you. (Vayikra 11:8)

 

And Eisav saw that the daughters of Canaan were displeasing to his father Yitzchok.

 

So, Eisav went to Yishmael, and he took Machalat, the daughter of Yishmael, the son of Avraham, the sister of Neviot, in addition to his other wives as a wife. (Breishis 28:8-9)

to his other wives. He added wickedness upon his wickedness, for he did not divorce the first ones. – Rashi

 

Eisav is the paradigm of what we would call in the English language, “hypocrisy”. He is acting outwardly Kosher but with truly sinister intentions inwardly. That is the model of the Chazir, which we revile, and the paradigm of the hypocrite. When Eisav saw that the daughters of Canaan were displeasing to his parents, he did not distance himself from them. He rather took the daughter of Yishmael. This is all outward gesturing, symbolism without substance. That is the height of hypocrisy.

 

I remember having a sensitive discussion with my beloved grandmother, who lit Shabbos candles her entire life. She was telling me that she tried to encourage her younger sister to do the same, but her sister told her, “I don’t keep Kosher, so if I light Shabbos candles, I would be a hypocrite!”

 

Something bothered me about that response, at the time, but I was not yet armed with an important distinction. Would she really be a hypocrite or would she merely be inconsistent!?

 

Aren’t we all, in many subtle and overt ways, inconsistent? The minute I Kosher one dish in my house or take any step in the right direction, I would immediately be inconsistent. What is the difference between being inconsistent and hypocrisy?

 

If a person comes to lay a carpet in my living room and he stops somewhere in the middle of the job, is he immediately and certainly criminally wrong?

 

The rug is full of bumps and not every corner is buckled down. If he goes out to his truck and eats his lunch, the lack of job completion is only an indicator that more work is yet to be done.

 

Why should I panic and come to false conclusions? However, if he enters his truck, revs the engine, heads home and sends me a bill, thereby declaring that he considers the job is complete, then I’ll have my lawyer on the phone at the drop of a carpet nail.

 

When one projects to the world that he is the archetype of virtue – the model of perfection, as if the job is already complete, crowning his imperfections and institutionalizing his faults as noble ideals, these are invitations to be titled hypocrite.

 

The Torah cries out to us, “Become Holy!” Does that mean that we are automatically HOLIER or better than anyone else?! No way! I had a sign hanging in my office, with a photo depicting a group of people climbing a steep mountain linked together by a rope like a charm bracelet, and the giant caption read, “DIRECTION! NOT PERFECTION!”

 

I once asked Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski, “What’s self-esteem?” He answered in a heartbeat, “Healthy self-esteem means seeing your good points and bad points simultaneously.” I realized that the operative word is “simultaneously”. If somebody only sees their good points then they are at risk of becoming haughty. If they only see their bad points, then they will tend to give up before even trying. If one sees their good points and their bad points alternately, they are taking off excitedly and then crashing again and again. But if somebody sees their bad points and they’re good points simultaneously, then they never get too low because they know that they have something special to offer and they never get too high because they understand that they have faults. I saw a phrase that caught my eye, “I can be both a masterpiece and a work in progress!”

 

Becoming Holy is developing that work in progress, adding to the masterpiece. Hypocrisy may creep in the moment we quit trying.

 

Fools Rush in Where Angels Fear to Tread

Parshas Shemini

Posted on April 20, 2017 (5777) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

 

The sons of Aaron, Nadav and Avihu, each took his fire-pan, they put fire in the them and placed them. A fire came forth from before HASHEM an alien fire that He had not commanded them. A fire came forth from before HASHEM and consumed them, and they died before HASHEM. (Vayikra 10:1-2)

 

You shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping creature that creeps, and you shall not defile yourselves with them, that you should become unclean through them. For I am HASHEM your G-d, and you shall sanctify yourselves and be holy, because I am holy, and you shall not defile yourselves through any creeping creature that crawls on the ground. For I am HASHEM Who has brought you up from the land of Egypt to be your G-d. Thus, you shall be holy, because I am holy. (Vayikra 11:43-45)

 

What is the connection between these two giant themes? They seem universes apart and unlikely neighbors to be packed by The Creator into the same Torah portion. Maybe they are close because they are so far away from each other. How so?

 

When the Megilla of Esther wishes to express how widespread the kingdom of Achashveirosh was we are told he ruled over 127 provinces from Hodu to Kush. The Talmud presents a dispute about the proximity of Hodu and Kush. One opinion is that they were from one end of the world to the other. The other says they were right next to each other. How does that approach make sense? Which opinion is true?

 

I heard an explanation that they were juxtaposed and contiguous but if you measure around the world in the other direction they were at the extreme ends of the world one from the other.

 

Here we have a case of Nadav and Avihu, two holy brothers, sons on Aaron the Kohain, rushing into a realm of holiness, at a time of extreme spiritual elevation, but without with permission.

 

They died on the spot. On the other end of the spectrum, we find strict instructions about which animals we are and are not allowed to eat.

 

From the loftiest levels of holiness to the most physical and animalistic appetite we are expected to navigate and proceed with precise rules. There is no room for extremism in either domain. Every move is carefully calibrated.

 

You might think extreme zealousness is tolerable and praiseworthy in spiritual matters but in truth the exposed wires are highly and dangerously charged there. You also might think there is an excuse when the blood of passion is rushing through our veins. However, there too we are warned strongly to slow down and proceed with extreme caution.

 

Maybe for this reason we pray every evening that HASHEM should remove the opposing force from in front of us and in back of us. In front of us is easier to understand but what harm can this negative force afflict from behind us?!

 

Getting too holy too quickly is as dangerous as yielding to raw animalism. Both are departures from true holiness. In either case life is filled with highly charged electric wires and we must navigate cautiously. Food is unavoidable. Spirituality is inevitable. I would feel comfortable changing a light bulb but not a fixture. I tried once and suddenly all the lights in the house went out. I feel fortunate my beard was not burnt off or worse. Now I defer to an expert, a licensed electrician because fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

 

 

Who We Work For

Pesach

Posted on April 8, 2022 (5782) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

 

Halleluka…Servants of HASHEM, give praise; praise the name of HASHEM. (Tehillim 113:1) -from Hallel

 

Pesach is in the air! Everywhere people are working extra hard to be ready for the holy days of Pesach. Let us emphasize these words, “working hard”. For some reason it is one of those Yomim Tovim that no one can escape without “hard work”. Even if one is going to a hotel a lot of preparation and dislocation is involved. Why should it be so? It’s not for no reason!

 

Now I know this statement may sound shocking to our sensibilities but here it goes, “Slavery is not necessarily a bad thing!” We all know and agree that an abusive form of slavery is bad news, and everyone is repulsed by it. However, we refer to ourselves in Hallel as servants of HASHEM. It’s a part of Hallel, the utmost enthusiastic praise of HASHEM! It is not a mournful dirge! It would be our crown to be included in that rare club of servants of HASHEM. Moshe was called a servant of HASHEM. Yehoshuah was called a servant of HASHEM. Dovid HaMelelch is referred to as a servant of HASHEM. We aspire to be worthy of such a title. So, it sounds like being a servant, a slave is not only not a bad designation, it may just be the most noble.

 

Now let’s get this straight. Isn’t Pesach all about freedom? We commemorate and celebrate and relive our exodus from Egypt and our freedom from the tyrannic rule of Pharaoh. That’s the story we grew up with! Now at this advanced age I am coming to realize that that is only half the story.

 

What does it mean to be a servant/slave!? Your time is not your own. Your possessions are not your own. Your life is not your own. You must do many things that are not necessarily in agreement with a life of leisure. You are constantly being driven out of your comfort zone. You are being guided and yes controlled by an external force, a director, a boss.

 

There is a reason certain images from the world reach our eyes. They give us a way of reflecting on our situation. We have all seen the scenes of youth, most often, dressed in ways that betray their dignity. They wander about lost and drugs and violence become commonplace. I am being ginger here and circumspect, but I think we can all conjure up an image or ten million. Yet if one or a group of these same young people joins the military, or submits to a sports coach, or is involved in some religious training, their appearance and level of achievement is multiplied and amplified by the millions. What is the difference? A coach, a boss, G-d can shape a man into something he could never make out of himself.

 

This contrast is for our edification. We did not get out of Egypt 3333 years ago to just be free to do whatever we want to do. We actually only changed employers. Instead of working a cruel dictator that did not have out best interest mind and who bullied into submission forcing us to engage in futile labor just to break our hearts and souls, we willfully submit ourselves to HASHEM Who has demonstrated his concern for our ultimate well-being and Who encourages us to do actions that breath meaning into every step and every breath we take.

 

I am afraid that without a Rav, without a Shul, without a community, without Torah learning, without G-d any good and well-meaning Jew is at great risk of not only falling short of their potential but even becoming a hazard to himself and others, not unlike the wayward and destructive youth we referenced.

 

Great potential has a way of blossoming or imploding as Langston Hughes expressed in his poem, “What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore–And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over–like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode!?”

 

Reb Yeruchem Levovitz said that the main metric to measure the greatness of a Jew is, “How much of a Servant of G-d are they?” We all work for someone and fear someone and love someone. The question is who do we work for and fear and love?! On Pesach we became free to choose Who we fear and love and Who we work for!

 

 One Time, or Always?

Parshas Tzav

 Posted on April 8, 2025 (5785) By Rabbi Yisroel Ciner | Series: Parsha Insights | Level: Beginner Intermediate

 We are pretty funny creatures… We may long for something for an extended period of time. If we’ll finally obtain the desire of our longing our appreciation is relatively short lived. It’s mine now. Then, not only do we cease to feel appreciation for the gift we’ve received but we view it as inherently ours. Should it be taken away from us, we’re now way back where we started.

 We’re crushed. It was mine, I had it and it was taken away.

Let’s view things from a Torah perspective. 

The Kohen Gadol brings this offering every day because he must view every single day as the day that he was anointed. The fact that he held the position yesterday is no guarantee that he’ll hold it today. It’s not his. Each day is new. Each day is a gift. Each day he brings the offering of the day of his anointment.

 

The story is told of a king who ventured out into a nearby forest and came across a simple shepherd sitting on the ground with his bag on his back, playing a flute while his staff rested on his lap. After engaging him in a conversation and finding him to be exceptionally sharp, the king invited him to his palace where he would be trained as an advisor. The shepherd readily accepted the offer and came to the palace.

 

There his meteoric rise to prominence astonished everyone and within months he found himself in charge of the treasury (CFO). However, this didn’t go unnoticed by the other more senior advisors.

 

Their jealousy was aroused and they conspired to slander him to the king. “He’s stealing from the treasury,” they told the king. At first the king refused to believe them but after many repeated accusations he agreed to pay a surprise visit to his new advisor’s home and see if he was living above his means.

 

When they arrived at his house one morning for a surprise visit, they were indeed shocked at what they found. The house was the epitome of simple, modest dignity and cleared away any suspicion that he might have been embezzling from the treasury. As they were about to leave after having been given a ‘grand-tour’ of the premises, they noticed a locked room that hadn’t been opened. Their curiosity aroused, they asked to see what was inside but the advisor gently declined. When the children exclaimed that they too had never been admitted to that room they were sure that they had finally caught him. The king, losing patience and trust, angrily demanded that the door be opened.

 

Red-faced with embarrassment, the advisor slowly unlocked the door. A collective gasp came from the mouths of the onlookers as the door swung gently open. Before their eyes was a room, barren of any furniture, with only a flute, a staff and a course rucksack lying on the floor. They turned to the advisor for an explanation.

 

“From the day that I became an advisor to the king,” he explained, “I was afraid that I would become haughty and forget my humble beginnings. I therefore set up this room where, every morning, before I head to the palace, I put on my old rucksack, lay my staff across my lap and play my flute. I always remember that I am nothing but a simple shepherd, who has received great gifts from G-d and from the king.”

 

Every day a gift. Every day a responsibility. We can’t seek recreation while expecting and taking Hashem’s re-creation for granted.

 

Good Shabbos,

 

 

 

Gratitude Unlimited

Parshas Tzav

Posted on March 25, 2022 (5786) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

 

What do released prisoners, recovering patients, seafarers and caravan travelers all have in common? These people have all been in perilous situations, their very lives endangered, and having come through safely, they are required to express their gratitude to Hashem by bringing a thanksgiving sacrifice to the Temple in Jerusalem. The procedure for the thanksgiving offering, the korban todah, is described in this week’s portion.

 

The Midrash provides us with a rather surprising bit of information about the thanksgiving offering. In the End of Days, when the Presence of the Creator will fill the world with holiness and people will live in eternal bliss and serenity, all sacrifices will be discontinued – except for the thanksgiving sacrifice. This immediately leads us to ask: How can this be? If, as the prophets repeatedly assure us, people will be safe and secure, protected from all physical harm and danger, from sickness and imprisonment, how will it be possible for a thanksgiving sacrifice to be brought? The conditions that necessitate such an offering will simply not exist!

 

Let us think for a moment about a phrase most polite people use very often and very casually.

 

What exactly do we mean when we say “thank you” to someone who has done us a good turn?

 

What have we actually given him by thanking him? And why is he gratified? The answers lie in a deeper understanding of gratitude and thanksgiving. In essence, an expression of gratitude is an acknowledgment. By saying “thank you,” we declare that we recognize what the other person has done for us, that we value it and that we do not take him for granted. This is all he needs in return for what he has done – recognition, no more, no less. But a sincere expression of gratitude can only result from a genuine appreciation of the value of what we have received.

 

Without this appreciation, the words “thank you” are but an empty, meaningless formality.

 

If this holds true in our relationships with other human beings, how much more so in our relationship with our Creator. We are endlessly beholden to Him for all the good He does for us, and as a result, we should be endlessly grateful. Unfortunately, however, we live in a benighted world of illusions and delusions, and we often fail to recognize the innumerable gifts and bounty that flow to us from Hashem’s generous hand. And even when we pay lip service to it, how deeply do we actually feel it? How real is it to us? The only things we face with stark reality are life-threatening situations. In the face of danger, our affectations and pretensions quickly dissipate, and we realize how dependent we are on our Creator for our safety. As the old adage goes, “There are no atheists in a foxhole.” It is only when we are ultimately delivered from danger that we are capable of expressing genuine gratitude.

 

In the End of Days, however, the Presence of the Creator will illuminate the entire world and dispel all the foolish delusions which so becloud our vision and befuddle our minds. Then we will see Hashem’s hand with perfect clarity, and our acknowledgments of His guidance and benevolence will carry the ring of true conviction. At that point, we will no longer have to face life-threatening situations to inspire genuine gratitude in our hearts. We will thank Him endlessly for every minute detail of our lives and bring thanksgiving sacrifices to give expression to the transcendent feelings of gratitude that will permeate our souls.

 

A great sage once ordered a cup of coffee in an elegant restaurant. When the bill came, he saw he had been charged an exorbitant sum. “So much for a cup of coffee?” he asked the waiter.

 

“Oh no, sir,” the waiter replied. “The coffee cost only a few cents. But the paintings and tapestries on the walls, the crystal chandeliers, the Persian carpets, the luxurious gardens, the marble fountain, these cost a lot of money, and every patron must pay his share.”

 

“Aha!” said the sage. “You have taught me an important lesson.

 

When I recite a blessing over a glass of water, I must thank the Creator for the ground on which I stand, the air I breathe, the blue sky over my head, the beauty and scent of the flowers, the twittering of birds, the company of other people. Thank you.”

 

In our own lives, we all too often take for granted all the blessings we enjoy, and we forget to express our gratitude to our Creator, the Source of all this bounty. Indeed, when we experience hardship, we are inclined to confront Hashem, saying, Oh, why do we deserve this? But when we experience good fortune, are we as inclined to thank Him? Common courtesy, of course, requires that we acknowledge Hashem’s bounty, but if we offer words of gratitude to Hashem in all situations, we will also discover a deeper dimension to our appreciation and enjoyment of the blessings of life.

 

Text Copyright © 2009 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanenbaum Education Center.

 

 

 

Listen Closely

Parshas Vayikra

Posted on March 24, 2023 (5783) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

 

With the beginning of the reading of the book of Vayikra this Shabat in the synagogue, the title of the book itself calls out to us for understanding what is meant when the Torah tells us that G-d called out to Moshe. Moshe experiences a special and unique method of G-dly revelation.

 

The Torah testifies to this by describing that G-d, so to speak, talks to Moshe ‘face to face.’

 

The prophets of Israel receive G-dly communication while in a dreamlike trance. But the thrust of Jewish tradition is that even though there is no longer any type of G-dly prophecy present in our world, G-d still communicates with humans. But He does so in very subtle means – in reflections of human behavior and world events themselves.

 

Free will allows humans to behave as they will, yet there is a guiding heavenly hand in world affairs visible to those who wish to see it.  A few decades ago, two scientists won a Nobel Prize for proving their ability to yet hear the echo of the sounds of the original birth of the universe at the moment of its creation. We all know that human hearing is possible only within a limited range of wave frequencies. Judaism teaches that good deeds, moral behavior, Torah observance and loyalty to traditional Jewish values help expand our hearing ability – and this enables us to tune into heavenly sound frequencies which were originally blocked to us.

 

The auxiliary message of Vayikra, when G-d called out to Moshe, is that Moshe’s hearing is so perfectly attuned to heavenly communication, he is always ‘face to face’ with his Creator. That is the true indication of the greatness of Moshe and makes him the most unique of all the world’s prophets, teachers and leaders.

 

The word Vayikra, as written in the Torah, contains a miniature letter ‘aleph.’ This indicates to us that G-d’s message to us is subtle, quiet, and easy to ignore temporarily, but persistent and ongoing. As the Lord told the prophet Elijah, ‘I do not appear in the great wind or in earthquakes or other terrifying natural phenomena, but rather in a small, still voice.’  Listening to a still, small voice requires good hearing acumen and intense concentration. Casual hearing will not suffice.

 

In our times, the small ‘alef’ requires us to really listen and pay attention to what transpires in our personal and national lives. Oftentimes, we, like the prophet Yonah, attempt to flee from the still small voice that continually echoes within us. But it remains persistent and waits patiently for our hearing ability to improve in our everyday lives.

 

Backed Up by Action

Parshas Vayakhel

Posted on March 1, 2019 (5779) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

 

And Moshe called the whole community of the Children of Israel to assemble, and he said to them: “These are the things that HASHEM commanded to make. (Shemos 35:1)

 

And he made the dividing curtain of blue, purple, and crimson wool, and twisted fine linen; the work of a master weaver he made it, in a [woven] cherubim design. And he made for it four pillars of acacia wood, and he overlaid them with gold, their hooks [were] gold, and he cast for them four silver sockets. And he made a screen for the entrance of the tent, of blue, purple, and crimson wool, and twisted fine linen the work of an embroiderer, and its five pillars and their hooks, and he overlaid their tops and their bands with gold, and their five sockets were copper. (Shemos 36:35-38)

 

Too many times to mention the term “he made” and “they made” crowns the beginning of a verse. There is something great about this doing, this making of the Mishkan with precision. What is it?

 

The Talmud Brochos queries, “Which is more important, learning or doing?” The answer offered is: “Learning, because it leads to doing!” It seems the question is answered and not. Doing seems to be the more important value. The Mishne affirms, “The main thing is not the discussion but the action!” (Pirke Avos 1:17) If Talmud Torah is so great that it is equivalent to all the Mitzvos then how can “doing” be considered greater?

 

An elderly father called out with his weakened voice to his three boys who were in another room, “Can someone please fetch me a glass of water!?” Right away a big discussion erupted.

 

The older son seemed ready to jump into action but his two younger brothers challenged him.

 

“Why should you have the honor to get Abba a glass of water?” He responded emphatically, “Because I am the oldest!”

 

The other two insisted that they find a more fair way of deciding. In the meantime the father called out again for a glass of water. The youngest proposed that that they have auction as they would in Shul for a great honor or an Aliya.

The bidding began immediately for the high honor of getting Abba a glass of water. The numbers climbed quickly and finally the middle son won. He opined, “If I would earn such an honor like Maftir Yona, I would not keep it for myself. I would share the honor and give it to one who is truly deserving of the honor. I would give it to our dear Abba. Abba, get yourself a glass of water!”

 

The story is so absurd on many levels, I know, but it also illustrates that all the talk in the world does not substitute for action. Especially in the case of the building of the Mishkan which was the way to fix the horrific event of the Golden Calf. There is a phrase I saw from Steven Covey that rings so true, “You can’t talk your way out of a problem you acted your way into!” The solution requires action because action demonstrates sincerity.

 

I was witness to a scene where a father was called into the tuition office because his first five tuition checks bounced. Half the year passed and he had effectively not paid any tuition. He bowed his head and apologized. I felt bad for him. The comptroller asked what his plan was. So, he took out his check book. It was comical and tragic. After four bounced checks a fifth didn’t seem more promising.

 

Actions are like money in the bank and words are comparable to checks. There was an old show tune with words that went like this, “Don’t talk of love show me!” A man can say to his wife all day and with passion, “I love you!”, but his words will ring hollow if they are not backed up by action, if the garbage is not taken out, the carpool is dodged, the homework with the kids is not done, and other requests are denied. It’s like writing a big check with little money in the bank. It bounces. Words are only as valuable as there is money in the bank.

 

The sin of the Golden Calf was a major break in trust. Trust must be built slowly and with action.

 

It cannot be demanded or expected with urgency. The greatest proof that the repentance of the Children of Israel about the Golden Calf was sincere was in their doing.

 

Sure, words can work but only when backed up by action.