Fear of the Unknown

Parshas Behaaloscha

Posted on May 30, 2018 (5778) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

 

Human beings are by their very nature creatures who are eternally dissatisfied and fearful. It is a rare person that, even at a joyous family occasion, can grasp the moment and fully enjoy it.

 

Even as the bridal couple stands under their marriage canopy, observers and the families of those concerned are already fretting about what the future will hold for the young couple.

 

Rarely can a person truly live and enjoy the present.

 

In the Torah reading of this week the generation that left Egypt, received the Torah on Sinai and witnessed all of G-d’s miracles on a first-hand basis, nevertheless they begin to fray and fall apart. Their main concern, the doubt that hovers in their minds throughout the 40 years of existence in the Sinai desert, is how they will fare when they finally do reach and settle the promised land of Israel.

 

This task appears to be so daunting that it frightens them. The reassurance given them by Moshe, that G-d will continue to perform miracles on their behalf does not resonate with them. Their frustration will eventually burst forth in the Torah reading of next week with the story of the spies and their evil report regarding the land of Israel. The father-in-law of Moshe himself leaves them and no arguments or persuasions can change his mind. In its way, this was a crushing blow to the morale of the Jewish people and only confirmed their doubts as to whether they have a future in the land of Israel.

 

In effect, the mindset of the people was that today’s miracles do not guarantee the presence of miracles tomorrow and that the land of Israel is too risky an adventure to entertain.

 

The fear and disaffection for the land of Israel lies at the root of all the upheavals and rebellions that we will read about this Shabbat and in the coming Torah readings as well. They may complain about food, their leaders and all sorts of other gnawing issues that trouble them but that is only a cover for their fear of the future and for the unknown that the land of Israel represents to them.

 

This is a situation that exists even today in the Jewish world. It is a lack of self-confidence that we paper over with bravado. Deep down we are aware of the precarious nature of our situation and of the hostility of the world towards our state and us. To a great extent we whistle when passing the graveyard because of our lack of faith in ourselves, our future and even in the G-d of Israel.

 

We cannot be satisfied with the moment because of our concerns, no matter how unwarranted they may be regarding the future. Naturally, we are somewhat traumatized by our past and it is not a simple matter to simply ignore the problems and enemies that loom over us.

 

Nevertheless, we are bound to rely upon our faith that all will yet turn well for the Jewish people and the state of Israel and we attempt to live our lives and order our priorities accordingly.

 

Shabbat shalom

Rabbi Berel Wein

 

The Menorah – A Lesson in Parenting

Parshas Behaaloscha

Posted on June 12, 2008 (5768) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

 

Lighting the menorah – the great candelabra – in the Temple seems to be a very straight forward, cut and dried matter. One needs little skill or training apparently to light a candelabra.

 

Yet the Torah’s emphasis in this week’s parsha insures that a deeper meaning is also present to this seemingly mundane and simple act.

 

Rashi already indicates the presence of this deeper idea by his comment that the obligation of the kohein was to keep his fire at the candelabra’s wick, “until they caught and burned brightly on their own.” This is a rule not only in lighting a menorah but also in life generally – in raising and educating children and students, in inspiring others with ideals, skills and knowledge.

 

It is a rule in the home, the classroom, the workplace and anywhere else in human life where people intersect and influence one another. It applies in those areas of life that are also subject to this challenge – that the wick has to catch fire and rise on its own.

 

The ability to let the “wick” catch fire and flame eventually on its own is a necessary trait in successful parenting and teaching. It is always difficult to let go of a child and a student. One becomes so emotionally involved that letting go becomes increasingly impossible. But the truth is that only by letting go and allowing the “wick” – child, student, etc. – to flame on its own is one’s parental and educational responsibility fulfilled. We cannot live another person’s life for that person. We can only attempt to provide that other person with the wherewithal to succeed and accomplish.

 

The other side of the coin in this matter is equally valid and important. The kohein may not remove the flame from the wick prematurely. He must make certain that the flame of the wick will not sputter out when he removes his flame from the wick.

 

The responsibility of parents and teachers remains as long as the child or student is still unable to flame on its own. Many times in life it is difficult to light the flame in others. It always seems never to catch and flame on its own efforts and abilities. The tendency therefore is for the flame giver to despair and eventually give up on the effort.

 

Students are expelled from schools and parents and children remain distant. No two instances in life are alike and there are therefore no real general rules that can be imposed in such situations. Yet it must be obvious to all that infinite patience and untiring efforts must first be expended before reaching a point of impasse and no return.

 

Some people are late bloomers and thus the flame has to be kept to their wick longer than usual. These are all naturally individual judgments and uncertain decisions. Perhaps that is why the Torah emphasizes this seemingly ordinary act of lighting the menorah in the Temple because it represents the ambiguities that lie at the heart of many basic issues in life, family and community affairs.

 

Shabat shalom.

Rabbi Berel Wein

 

 

Small Talk

Parshas Naso

Posted on May 31, 2023 (5783) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha | Level: Beginner

 

This week’s parsha contains a number of exciting episodes. It details the sordid tale of the adulterous women, her fate and that of her illicit adulterer. It illustrates the rules and regulations of the nazir, one who has abstained from worldly pleasures by eschewing wine in addition to leaving his hair unshorn.

 

However, tucked away in the midst of the controversial episodes are the priestly blessings — five verses that shine an encouraging light in the midst of a difficult portion. Those verses contain the priestly blessings that are well known to many of us. “May Hashem bless you and keep you. May Hashem shine his countenance on you and be gracious to you. May Hashem lift his countenance upon you and establish you in peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)”

 

Less celebrated, however, are the verses that appear immediately before and after the actual blessings. “Thus, shall you bless the children of Israel, speak to them.” What is the importance – even the meaning — of the extra words, “speak to them”? After Hashem charges the priests with the actual verses of blessing, He ends with an additional command. “Place My name upon the children of Israel and I shall bless them.” Again, the verse leaves us wondering – of course, it is Hashem that will bless them but what does His name have to do with it? Didn’t He just prescribe the formula? Why aren’t the three verses enough to spur G-d’s blessings?

 

A few months after moving to Woodmere, a lovely young Israeli couple with two young children moved next door to us. After conversing with them, my wife and I realized that in Israel they had not been the least bit observant of Jewish tradition. They had not even observed Yom Kippur, let alone kept Shabbat or kosher. It seemed that the reason they moved to America because Israel was becoming too Jewish for them. My wife and I felt a responsibility to bring these fine people closer to the Torah, yet we also did not feel comfortable telling them about laws that they must have known about but chose not to observe.

 

Fortunately, in our neighborhood lived the great Rosh Yeshiva who brought thousands of people close to Torah, Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld, of blessed memory. I explained our situation to him and basically asked him, “Rebbe, what do you in order to make someone frum (religious)?”

 

He smiled and put his large hand on my shoulder. “Do absolutely nothing!” I stood shocked and confused as he continued. “Be a mensch: Never miss a ‘good morning’ or a ‘good afternoon’.

 

Make sure your lawn is neat and your children are well behaved. And just be friendly.” Then he quoted the words of our sages, ‘make sure that the name of Hashem is cherished through you.’

 

He paused, looked me in the eye, and proclaimed confidently, “follow that advice and you will not have to do a thing. They will get closer to the Torah.”

 

We followed his advice. We invited them for meals, and our children played together. I talked politics with him while my wife discussed gardening with her. We spoke about everything — except religion. I was therefore shocked, when, in October, our neighbors asked us where the closest synagogue was.

 

They decided to go to shul for Yom Kippur. I was even more surprised when days later they asked for my help in building a Sukkah. I am sad to relate that recently we lost some very good neighbors. After 5 years of living in the US, they decided to move back to Israel. America was becoming too goyish (gentile) for them.

 

Before it enumerates the actual blessings, the Torah teaches us the true way to bless Jews – speak to them. The words, “speak to them” may be more important than the actual blessing.

 

The saintly Chofetz Chaim charged my wife’s grandfather Rabbi Laizer Levin, who was Rabbi of Detroit for 50 years, with a simple message. “Laizer, gei rehd tzoo Yidden.” (Reb Laizer go and speak to Jews.) And the actual priestly blessings do not end much differently. “Place My name upon the children of Israel and I shall bless them.” (Numbers 6:27). When Hashem’s name is placed upon His nation, then blessing is sure to follow.

 

A smile, a hello, a Good Shabbos, or Shabbat Shalom may be the key to forging a different attitude to an otherwise skeptical Jew. To paraphrase a man who reached great heights, “One small word to man can produce giants for mankind.” The true blessing does not come from theological incantations; it comes from the simple smiles of the heart.

 

A Powerful Lesson in True Humilty

Parshas Naso

Posted on June 13, 2019 (5779) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

 

The Kohen shall bring her near and have her stand before HASHEM. The Kohen shall take sacred water in an earthenware vessel, and the Kohen shall take from the (APHAR) dust that is on the floor of the Tabernacle and put it in the water… (Bamidbar 5:16-17)

 

The Midrash is puzzled why APHAR- dust is invited as part of the Sotah solution. The answer that is given is that in the merit of Avraham Avinu when he was praying on behalf of Sodom he referred to himself as “APHAR v AIFER – DUST and ASHES”!

 

OK but how is that an answer? What’s the connection between his declaration and the requirement of this unfaithful woman to be offered to drink water with dust from the floor of the Temple?

 

Obviously Avraham Avinu was adopting a posture of extreme humility when praying to HASHEM and interceding on behalf of Sodom. How else can one approach The Creator of the Universe?! It’s an exercise in ultimate humility, a finite creature standing before an Infinite Being! This portrait of Avraham’s self-effacement and absolute nullification remains etched for all time as the definitive portrait of humility.

 

I am afraid though that we may have a wrong impression of what true humility is if we view this scene too quickly and superficially. I saw a phrase that might illuminate the topic, “Humility is not thinking less of your-self. It’s thinking less about your-self.” Is that not the exact description of what Avraham Avinu was doing here?

 

This aligns with the famous statement from the Kotzker Rebbe. A person should have two pieces of paper. One is each of two pockets. On one piece of paper the words from the Mishne in Sanheidrin should be inscribed, “A person has an obligation to say, ‘The whole world was created for me!’”

 

On the other piece of paper the words of Avraham Avinu should be written, “I am dust and ashes!” The trick is to know when to take out which piece of paper!

 

Avraham Avinu was hoping to change the mind of The Almighty! He did not consider him-self completely unworthy. How else can one have the nerve to countermand G-d!? It seems he understood very well the import of his position in the world. Obviously Avraham, in all his humility, was not thinking too little about him-self!

 

It’s very clear that Avraham was not thinking about him-self. Just the opposite! All that he is depicted doing is for the sake of the people of Sodom. He was not asking for anything for him-self.

 

When he was called upon to deliver his beloved son Yitzchok as a Korbon he did not whisper a word of protest. For the people of Sodom, Avraham Avinu carried on as a defense attorney before a strict judge to protect a community he knew was guilty of many crimes. Avraham thought enough of him-self, to have the courage to face off with HASHEM, and at the same time he though not about him-self at all, but only about the welfare of others.

 

That’s the real portrait of humility.

 

Now let us apply this same standard to the other side of the equation, the Sotah. The woman who allowed her-self to be lured by the seductive sirens of temptation and indulgence was either not considering or was underestimating the import and impact of her actions, which are serious and severe. She obviously thought too little of herself.

 

At the same time she was thinking only about herself! She engaged in an act of ultimate selfishness! Rather her behavior betrays qualities that demonstrate just the opposite of true humility. Perhaps that’s why, now she is forced to digest APHAR- dust, as a strong reminder of and a powerful lesson in true humility.

 

The Flavor That’s Forever

Parshas Naso

Posted on June 14, 2019 (5782) By Mordechai Dixler | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner

 

Mayer Amschel Rothschild of Frankfurt, Germany was the Eighteenth Century founder of the famed Rothschild dynasty. A guest in his home once inquired, with much chutzpah, “How much are you worth?” In reply, Rothschild took out a ledger with the word ‘Charity’ on it and started to sum up the figures. The surprised visitor exclaimed, “Perhaps you didn’t understand my question. I asked you what you have, not what you have given away.”

 

Rothschild smiled and replied, “I understood you perfectly well. When I die, I will leave all my material wealth behind. The only thing that I will be able to take with me is the merit of that which I have given away. Consequently, all that I really possess is that which I give.” (Quoted from Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis, Chief Rabbi of the UK)

 

Each individual was obligated by the Torah to give tithes from his crop to the Kohanim, the priests, and the Levites. The Torah says, “each man, his holy things shall be his” [Num. 5:10].

 

This verse refers the giver’s right to choose which individuals will receive his gifts. But these same words, says Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan zt”l (the Chofetz Chaim), can be understood to say that the only things we truly own are our holy deeds. No business investments have a guaranteed profit, and certainly not an eternal profit. Profits from spiritual investments, however, are both guaranteed and eternal.

 

A group of teenage boys were visiting Rabbi Avraham Schorr of Flatbush, a renowned lecturer and teacher. Rabbi Schorr wanted to give them a sense of the eternal value of a Mitzvah, one of G-d’s commandments. So, he asked them: “Think about the pleasure, the sense of satisfaction, you had a year ago from eating a juicy piece of steak, or any other delicious meal. Now think about the pleasure and satisfaction you had a year ago after helping an old person cross the street. Which pleasure do you still feel today?”

 

Thus, even in this world, our own experience in holy endeavors testifies to this truth: it is spiritual investments that have the most lasting gains.

 

Let us prioritize our spiritual pursuits in both Mitzvah observance and Torah study, so that we may then look forward to enjoying their everlasting benefits.

 

Growth Period

Parshas Emor

The Omer

Posted on June 7, 2002 (5755) By Rabbi Yaakov Menken | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner

 

“And you shall count for yourselves from the day after the Sabbath, from the day when the Omer was brought, seven complete weeks will they be.” [23:15]

 

Our Sages tell us that the period of counting between Pesach and Shavuous came to separate the Exodus from Egypt and acceptance of the Torah on Mt. Sinai. The Jews in Egypt were stuck at a very base, non-spiritual level, and they needed this time period in order to grow and develop spiritually in order to be prepared for the reception of the ultimate spirituality, G-d’s blueprint for Creation, the Torah. Rabbi Zalman Sorotzkin, author of Oznaim L’Torah, writes that the Omer remains relevant every year. We say this about all holidays – that in Judaism they are not merely commemorations, but an opportunity to relive the events. As the Haggadah says, “in every generation a person is obligated to regard himself as if he left Egypt.”

 

Regarding the Omer, Rabbi Sorotzkin tells us that it has always been known to G-d that Israel – as a nation and as individuals – will fall from their spiritual heights. Therefore, he says, G-d set aside this time for us to work on spiritual growth each and every year. This period was sanctified for all time as conducive to self-purification and development.

 

There are several such time periods during the year, times when we can grow and accomplish more and more. The holidays form a natural spiral, leading us ever upwards in a lifetime of spiritual growth. Just… take advantage of it!

 

 

Leadership By Example

Parshas Emor

Posted on April 30, 2021 (5781) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

 

And HASHEM said to Moshe: ‘Say to the Kohanim, the sons of Aaron, and you shall say to them: “To a (dead) person he shall not become impure among his people…”‘ (Vayikra 21:1

Say to the Kohanim…and you shall say to them: The Torah uses the double expression of “say” followed by “and you shall say” to caution the adults with regard to the minors. (Rashi)

 

The Kohanim-The Priestly cast are to play an important role as living examples of holiness and purity for the entire nations. Where is the manual for success in relating this sublime message from one generation to the next?

 

Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetsky ztl. Had made an important distinction between two important words in the realm of raising children; Chinuch – Education and Hashpah – Influence. Education is a form of direct teaching. The teacher fills up the cup of the child with valuable information and important knowledge.

 

Hashpah comes from a root word Shefa which means abundance. Hashpah is when the teacher fills his cup and what overflows washes over and influences those in one’s immediate surroundings.

 

Which is most effective?

 

I have had many parents brag to me over the years, “Rabbi, I push my children!” They think I will be impressed. While I am sure they mean well, my response is, “Don’t push! Pull!” I explain, “When someone honks their horn behind you, do you feel like going faster or slower? However, when a car goes racing by, we all have an urge to speed up. Teach your child primarily by example!

 

Children are studying their parents in ways the parents may never imagine, and they will naturally imitate their behavior. One day I opened the food cabinet at home, and an avalanche of 2ounce applesauce snack containers came crashing down. As I gazed at the pileup on the floor below a great truth dawned upon me, “The applesauce doesn’t fall far from the pantry!”

 

The parents who unfortunately talk in Shul are raising the next generation of Shul talkers. Those who remain focused on the business of Davening invariably raise children who Daven.

 

One clever child told his parents, “Your actions are so loud, I can’t hear what you are saying!”

The story is told about a principal who called a father at his work to discuss his child’s behavior. While the principal was demanding a face to face meeting the father insisted to be told the reason for the call.

So, the principal told him straight, “It seems your child has been stealing pencils from the other children in school.” The father was righteously indignant and replied to the principal, “Why in the world would my child steal pencils from the other children? I bring home all the pencils he needs from the office!”

 

One of my teachers was happily skipping home on Simchas Torah with his then young family. They were singing a lively tune to the words, “Olam Haba is a guta zach…Learning Torah is a besser zach…” (The next world is a good thing…Learning Torah is a better thing…” His four-year old daughter interrupted the parade and asked her father in all earnest, “Abba, what’s Olam Haba?”

 

He knew he had to address her question on a level she could comprehend. He asked her what the most delicious thing in the world was, thinking that if she said chocolate, then he would tell her it’s tons of chocolate and if she said marshmallows then he’d tell her how many marshmallows. She gave a most surprising answer, though. “Davening!” He asked her where she had learned that. She was not yet in school and all she said was, “Mommy!”

 

How had she learned this? He realized that after the morning rush, when all the older brothers and sisters are sent off to school the mother and daughter sit down to eat some breakfast. The mother has her coffee and a muffin and the daughter has her sweet raisin bran. Afterwards, the mother approaches a blank wall, siddur in hand and prays. The child notices the look of sublime joy on her mother’s face. Intuitively she compares it to the sweetness of the breakfast goodies and naturally concludes one experience must be far sweeter than the other. Davening must be that delicious.

 

That’s the power of Hashpa, the highest form of leadership – by example.

 

Fresh Miracles or Stale Bread

Parshas Emor

Posted on May 3, 2018 (5778) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

 

A quick thought for the week. At the end of this week’s Torah portion, the Torah recounts the story of the individual who committed the crime of blasphemy and uttered a vicious curse against the Creator of the world. The Torah introduces us to the events surrounding this saga with the cryptic words, “The son of an Israelite woman went out” which prompts an obvious question: From where did he go out? The Midrash offers a few answers. One interpretation explains the Midrash is that he “went out” (he veered off the path) from a misunderstanding in the previous section that the Torah was just discussing.

 

In that section (Chap 24 Verse 5), the Torah enlightens us about the miracle of the 12 fresh loaves of bread, the ‘Lechem Haponim’, that were placed each Friday on the shulchan, a specially crafted golden table that was located in the sanctum of the Temple. These loaves of bread were not moved until the week’s end, when they were distributed to the kohanim. The blasphemer looked at this week-old bread and became annoyed at the fact that the Kohanim were offering Hashem what was apparently old, stale bread. How does one treat the King of Kings like this? He was so outraged at the slight to the glory of G-d that he took his anger out on G-d Himself. He went out and blasphemed the name of G-d.

 

This is rather difficult to understand. The fellow was bothered by a perceived injustice and was standing up for the honor of G-d. How then could he have stooped to commit an even worse affront to G-d?

 

The commentaries explain that in truth, the lechem haponim bread actually miraculously stayed warm and fresh the entire week. They didn’t decay as normal food would. In the Temple, the rules of nature were suspended; the bread was as fresh and steaming hot seven days later as the moment it came out of the oven.

 

However, this disgruntled individual didn’t want to find out the true state of affairs. He was under a misconception that provoked him to anger, and he took the first opportunity to vent it.

 

Rather than step back and appraise the situation calmly, he was looking for the closest target to dump on. He needed an excuse to express his gripes about the religious system and as soon as he found an opening, he seized it.

 

The problem is, venting one’s anger doesn’t diminish the negative energy but rather fuels it. Just like alcohol prompts the urge for more alcohol, so too, anger has an addictive quality. It tends to take on a life of its own, triggering even more anger and indignation. For after all, one always needs to further rationalize the initial burst of anger? Of course, brooding on the reasons and justification for it only stokes the flames further.

 

Thus, after getting angry about the loaves of bread, it wasn’t long before the person in our Parsha blasphemed G-d himself.

 

The word Panim, say the commentaries actually means ‘pnim’ …the inside. Just like our faces provide a reflection of our inner emotions so indeed, the way we see and evaluate others also is invariably painted and colored by our innermost values and characteristics. What we see with our panim is dictated by our pnim! This coldhearted individual saw cold stale bread only because he was impervious to seeing the constant daily Divine flow of blessings in his life that would have been readily apparent had he only been more receptive.

 

In our own lives, when we look honestly at why we get angry, we will often discover that the reasons are not very solid. Others are not cooperating with us or doing as we wish them to.

 

That fuels a sense of frustration and disappointment. Doesn’t this person know they are making us impatient and angry? How can they continue not doing what we want? It’s because they don’t respect or care for us enough. They don’t realize they should be catering to us!

 

When we shout at a co-worker or family member for a slight infraction, the real culprit is not the unfortunate target of our anger -but our own ego that has been offended.

 

Let us make every effort to control the angry impulses that wear the mantle of righteous indignation but which in the end, poison the atmosphere, destroy relationships-and hurt ourselves most of all.

 

Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos,

Rabbi Naftali Reich