A Family
Parshas Bo
Posted
on January 7, 2022 (5782) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar
Torah| Level: Beginner
Speak to the entire community of Israel, saying, “On the
tenth of this month, let each one take a lamb for each parental home, a lamb
for each household. (Shemos 12:3)
And these are the names of the sons of Israel who came to
Egypt; with Yaakov, each man and his household came. (Shemos 1:1)
The Mitzvah of Chanuka is: A
candle for each man and his household! (Shabbos 21B)
In his Haggadah, Rav Hirsch
ztl. notes that the Jewish People were organized as a household unit when they
entered the exile and they were also configured as households at the time of
the exodus just as we find ourselves on Pesach ever
since- not in a stadium but rather at home!
On Chanukah too, we rally around the Menorah as a
household. The survival of the Jewish People and all civilization, as well, is
dependent on the welfare of the family!
About the importance of the home as a primary survival unit
he writes: “To inherit a home and to build a home – this encompasses a Jew’s
ethical vocation on earth. Is it not the sine qua non for the hopes and
perfection of all nations? If only this great Magna Carta were consulted
wherever education and culture, peace and salvation of men and mankind are
discussed. For the fate of men, their success or failure, is decided neither in
the chambers of rulers nor on the battlefield. It is not decided in business
concerns, in colleges and institutions of arts and sciences or in houses of
worship. It is sealed only in one place, in the parental home…
There exists no substitute for the home, and if one is
looking elsewhere for the source of peace and prosperity, he is searching in
vain. All of a nations politics and diplomacy, its theories of
national economy and institutions for mass education, its trade and industry,
its schools and community centers – none of these will save the people from
extinction if they let the parental home becomes a parody. Are children born
for the sake of the state’s false concern instead of the warm love of parents?
Does the census show ever-growing numbers of children without parents and
parents without children? Does the nation’s high society make a mockery of
morality and modesty? If so, then all the palaces it is building are founded on
quicksand.”
Many years ago, now, my oldest son was just returning from
learning in Israel. He was ripe and ready for Shiduchim (search for a wife) and
we had a stack of resumes of wonderful prospects. My wife and I kept shuffling
the papers and as we did we found ourselves getting more confused. This is
obviously an important life decision. Every resume, which is admittedly a
woefully deficient and two-dimensional representation of a complete person,
looked interesting and inviting for different reasons. We could not figure out
what was really important. Head of GO, valedictorian, wealthy father,
a famous family name, beauty, a good job, a brilliant academic career,
which factor or combinations of factors should be attracting our attention.
We decided to call our Rebbe. At
that time, he had married off 13 of his 14 children and shortly afterwards the
14th as well. He learns 60 Daf of Gemora every
day for more than 50 years and we were thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, he
might have an extra insight or some real-life experience to help us navigate
this confusing process. So, one evening we secluded ourselves in a quiet room
and made the phone call. He was in Florida at the time convalescing from a
shoulder injury. He picked up the phone and greeted me enthusiastically and I
told him that I am here with my wife listening and we are trying to figure out
what to look for in a Shidduch.
My wife sat poised with her pen ready to start writing
every word he would utter.
There wasn’t a moment of hesitation and he said the
following, “A family! A girl comes from a family!
Look for a family!” My wife was just beginning to
transcribe and then he said something very surprising. He said, “Good night!”
and the call ended. I was about to ask if there is anything else or what about
a family, but the call was over. My wife asked, “Did we fumble the call?” I
told her, “I don’t think so! He said ‘Good night!’”
We sat there in stunned silence. All he said was, “Look for
a family!” Then it dawned on us that if that’s all he mentioned, then that must
be the most important factor. A girl comes from a family! A boy comes from a
family! Together they will build a new family. Therefore, the most important
thing must be a family!
Understanding Irrational Behavior
Parshas Bo
Posted
on January 9, 2019 (5779) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi
Wein | Level: Beginner
At the beginning of this week’s Torah reading Moshe is commanded by G-d to come to Pharaoh.
The commentators of the Bible all deal with the strange
verb used in this commandment. What does “bo” mean here – to come to Pharaoh?
Should not a different verb such as approach or visit Pharaoh have been used?
Since Hebrew is a very exact language, and as I have often mentioned, the
opinion of the great Rabbi Elijah of Vilna is that there are no synonyms in the
Torah. So, this word “bo” must carry with it a special significance, a
nuanced insight that the Torah wishes to communicate to those who read and
study its written word.
Among the many interpretations regarding this use of the
word “bo,” I find it fascinating that many commentators say that the word does
not really mean ‘to come,’ but means ‘to come into.’ Moshe is
instructed to come into the psyche of Pharaoh, who has been afflicted with many
plagues and yet remains stubborn and unyielding regarding freeing the Jewish
people from bondage in Egypt. By understanding the psychology of Pharaoh, they
will realize that Pharaoh’s behavior is illogical, unrealistic and
self-destructive.
Pharaoh himself is vaguely aware that this is the case and
every so often he offers to compromise with Moshe and
grant some sort of temporary relief to the Jews from their bondage. Yet, at the
end of the matter, Pharaoh remains obstinate and unwilling not only to free the
Jews but unwilling to save himself and his nation from destruction.
By delving deeply into the psyche of Pharaoh, coming into
him so to speak, Moshe realizes clearly that Pharaoh is no longer
an independent agent given to make free and wise choices.
Rather, he is now being controlled directly by heaven and
it is heaven that has hardened his heart with hatred of the Jews, so that he
can no longer even choose to save himself, as any rational human being would
do.
Apparently, both in wickedness and goodness, when one has
crossed the ultimate line, one’s powers to exercise wise choices become
diminished and even disappear. The rabbis commented that both love and hate
cause people to behave irrationally and out of character for self-preservation
and personal honor.
When that point is reached, it becomes apparent then that
heavenly guidance has entered the picture and governs even the ultimate freedom
of choice ordinarily granted to human beings.
This is one of the important lessons that Moshe will learn from his encounter with
Pharaoh. It helps explain the behavior of tyrants and megalomaniacs who seem
determined to burn their house down while still inside. It also helps explain
why righteous people are capable of extraordinary acts of goodness and kindness
even at the expense of all rational understanding.
By coming into Pharaoh, by understanding him and by
realizing how unhinged he really is, Moshe concludes
that there is no point in his negotiating with him further. The Lord has
hardened his heart, and the Lord will be the sole agent for the redemption of
the Jewish people from Egyptian bondage.
Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein
