Saturday, January 11, 2025

 

Living the Life

Parshas Vayechi

Posted on January 10, 2025 (5785) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah| Level: Beginner

And Yaakov lived in the land of Egypt for seventeen years, and Yaakov’s days, the years of his life, were a hundred and forty-seven years. (Breishis 47:28)

 

The Midrashic tells us that these were very productive and golden years for Yaakov, those last 17 years in Egypt. Therefore it says, “And Yaakov lived…” He saw his family grow to incredible numbers and he was playing an instrumental role as a grandfather, a teacher, and a guide preparing his children and grandchildren for a long and challenging history and more immediately, for a bitter exile. What exactly the curriculum was, may remain a mystery but for sure his years of ceaseless learning, his life’s experiences, and his personal wisdom was being sewn into the hearts and minds of all future generations. We see that he was working right up to the very end of his life, till the very last breath, instructing and blessing his children. We can remain wondering, “What could he have possibly been imparting?”

 

Here is a story I heard recently that might be helpful to possibly understand what YAAKOV was so busy doing the last 17 years of his life.

 

Two buses of boys, seventh and eighth grade classes in Israel arrived after a long trip at a waterpark. It became apparent immediately to the Rebbes in charge that the waterpark was not reserved for male clientele only as they had planned.

 

Now, both the seventh and eighth grade Rebbes had the difficult task to break the news to the boys on each bus. When the eighth grade Rebbe told his class, there was a giant collective groan and as can be expected, everyone started to fount with expressions of disappointment and complaint. “No fair!” There wasn’t much for the Rebbe to say to quiet the crowd.

 

One boy asked the Rebbe if he could take the microphone for a moment and he announced to all the other students that we should be happy. We are doing the will of Hashem. There is nothing greater than that! Rather, we should be celebrating. He started singing and incredibly so did they!

 

When the 7th grade Rebbe called the 8th grade Rebbe to find out how the boys took the bad news, he told him that it actually went well. The 7th grade Rebbe said, “Don’t tell me. One boy took the microphone and told everyone they are doing the Ratzon HASHEM and they should be happy and everyone started singing ASHREINU!” “Exactly!” answered the Rebbe. “How did you know?” The 7th grade Rebbe told him the same thing happened on his bus too. Astonishingly they were two brothers.

 

When they got back to school, both Rebbes called up the mother of these two boys to share the unbelievable news and to ask her an important question. “What’s in the water at your house? How did you teach them or train them to do this? “The mother answered that she had no idea and she thought for a while then she remembered that a few years earlier, she took her children for a trip that didn’t work out and they were disappointed. So, they came back to a local ice cream shop in Jerusalem and when the ice cream was being served to them, she discovered that it’s not their standard of HEKSHER.

 

Again, they were disappointed, and when they came home with downcast faces, their father asked them what happened. When they explained how disappointed they were, he got all excited, and told his children that instead of being sad, they should be happy. The father told them to get dressed up in Shabbos clothing, and to set the table for a major celebration. The father went out and bought a giant meal. He spared no expense. They sat and they sang together as a family. “ASHREINU…”

 

What an impact a father can have on children. With quick thinking and the right attitude, he created nothing less than a revolution. Those boys on the bus won’t forget so soon. There is nothing more profitable or pleasurable than doing what HASHEM wants. I don’t know what Yaakov was teaching way back then, but he did a good job, because here we are many thousands of years later, still teaching and living the life!

 

Stolen Crafts

Parshas Vayechi

Posted on January 6, 2025 (5785) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

How terrible the disappointment must have been for Simon and Levi! How crushing! They had come to their father’s bedside together with all their brothers with the expectation that they would receive the old patriarch’s blessing, but all they received was a sharp reprimand.

 

As we read in this week’s Torah portion, Jacob, sensing the end of his life drawing near, summons his sons to his side and blessed them. But this is far more than a father’s deathbed blessing to his children. Jacob, the third and final of the Patriarchs, has completed the work of laying the foundation for the Jewish nation, and now, his twelve sons, patriarchs of the individual tribes, are poised to build the rich, multi- hued edifice that would stand forever upon that solid foundation. To help them achieve this transcendent goal, Jacob’s blessings define the characters of each of the tribes, their strengths, their obligations, their contributions to the overall tapestry of Jewish peoplehood. His holy words empower them to fulfill their particular roles in the greater scheme of Jewish destiny.

 

At this critical juncture, when Judah is assigned the crown of royalty, Isachar the role of scholar, Zebulun the role of philanthropist and so on, what does Jacob say to Simon and Levi? He reminds them of the outburst of bloody rage in which they destroyed the city of Shechem.

 

“Their weaponry is a stolen craft,” he declares, behavior unfit for the exalted family of Jacob, a page stolen from the book of Esau.

 

And that is it!

 

Where is their blessing? Are they to be deprived for all eternity of the patriarchal fortification which the other tribes received? How could Jacob leave them standing their without a kind word, a compassionate gesture of conciliation?

 

This is how the scene appears to us at first glance. The commentators, however, have an entirely different perspective on it. Jacob did not exclude Simon and Levi from his blessings, they explain. On the contrary, Jacob gave them a very great and critical blessing, a blessing that would facilitate their participation in the formation of the Jewish people.

 

During the Shechem incident, Simon and Levi had displayed a dark and violent side to their natures. They had shown themselves capable of underhanded conniving and a disregard for human life. With such decidedly un-Jewish traits, how could Simon and Levi take part in building a nation whose very existence is predicated on spirituality, kindness, truth and the nobler traits of the human character, a nation to which violence and deceit are abhorrent? Simon and Levi, fully aware of how they had dishonored the Jewish ideal through their own shortcomings, were heartbroken at the prospect of losing for all the eternity the opportunity to take part in the building of the Jewish nation.

 

But Jacob was a loving father, and in his blessing to his two headstrong sons, he gave them profound reassurance. Your self-image is wrong, he told them. Do not think of yourselves as violent, deceitful people. Violence and deceit are an aberration to you, a craft stolen from Esau.

 

Do not despair. You have it in your power to purge yourselves of this contamination and resume your honored place among the other tribes of Israel. It is an undoubtedly a difficult thing to do, but I give you my blessing that your efforts should be blessed with success.

 

Two boys were expelled from school for pulling a nasty prank on one of their teachers. As time went by, one of them became a notorious criminal, while the other became a great sage.

 

Years later, the principal had occasion to meet the sage. “Tell me,” he said. “You both started from the same point. How come you are a sage, and your friend is a criminal?”

 

“It’s very simple,” the sage replied. “When we were expelled, my friend’s father ranted and raved at him and punished him severely. But my father was wiser. He said to me, ‘You are such a fine, good boy. What got into you to do such a cruel thing? It’s so out of character!’ You know what? I realized he was right, and I never did such a thing again.”

 

In our own lives, we are often overcome with remorse and mortification over some terrible misdeed we committed, whether in the conduct of our relationship with Hashem or with friends and family. Remorse can be a very positive reaction, but not if it drags us down into despair and self- loathing. Let us take heart in Jacob’s reassurance that as descendants of the holy patriarchs we are essentially good and decent people, that any misdeeds of which we may be guilty are the product of stolen crafts, alien influences we can and will eradicate from our hearts.

 

Text Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanebaum Education Center.

 

Aging Gracefully

Parshas Vayechi

Posted on December 14, 2021 (5782) By Rabbi Pinchas Avruch | Series: Kol HaKollel | Level: Beginner

“And it came to pass after these matters that [the messenger] said to Yosef (Joseph), ‘Behold, your father is ill.’…(Beraishis/Genesis 48:1) This is the first time in the history of the world that someone became sick.

 

Yalkut Shimoni (1)(Chayai Sarah 105) narrates that Avraham requested from G-d the phenomenon of visible aging, for he feared that when father and son entered a room people would not know whom to give honor first, so G-d granted him his wish, with him as the first recipient.

 

Yitzchak (Isaac) requested suffering before death, for he feared the result of the process of Divine judgment if one never had the warning to do teshuva (regret one’s misdeeds and resolve to return to G-d’s path), so G-d granted him his wish, with him as the first recipient.

 

Yaakov (Jacob) requested illness, for he feared the consequences of not having a few days to resolve outstanding issues between one’s children. G-d granted him his wish, with him as the first recipient.

 

Michtav Me’Eliyahu (2) explains that each of our saintly forefathers made requests consistent with his most pronounced character trait. Avraham, known for his acts of chesed (loving kindness), appreciated the need for giving genuine honor to his fellow human. G-d concurred to the great impediment this indistinguishability placed on one’s Divine service through chesed. 

 

Yitzchak’s focus was on justice, and he recognized the great tragedy in the afterlife that awaited one who did not do teshuva. Therefore, he beseeched a mechanism in this life that would awaken the consciousness to this inevitability so that the requisite correction could be made.

 

Yaakov’s pursuit was perfection and completion, seeking resolution between opposing forces. Prior to death, a simple declaration of one’s will was insufficient; efforts needed to be made to ensure that the children accepted the determination. He understood that there would continue to be jealousy unless everyone genuinely felt his interests had been served, that there could be no peace (shalom) between parties without feeling a sense of wholeness (shleimus). This could not be accomplished with the suddenness that accompanied natural death at that time. G-d’s accommodation was extended illness.

 

Rabbi Akiva taught us (Tractate Berachos 60b) that one should regularly remind himself that all that G-d does is for the good. There are tragedies that challenge our faith in this maxim, such as the difficulties that comes with aging. But our Sages remind us often that trials are given to us as growth opportunities (see Kol HaKollel Parshas Lech Lecha 5764), and G-d, in his infinite kindness and love for us, granted our forefathers’ requests for the growth opportunities of aging. Our challenge is to maximize our utilization of them.

 

Have a Good Shabbos!

 

Saturday, January 4, 2025

 

Piecing Together the Jigsaw Puzzle

Parshas Vayigash

Posted on January 1, 2025 (5785) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

This week’s Parsha continues the gripping narrative of Yosef as he continues the drama of targeting his brothers as dishonest people, threatening to take Binyomin hostage in a trumped-up charge that he stole the viceroys special goblet.

 

The story reaches a climax when the brothers plead desperately with Yosef for Binyomin’s release. Finally, when tension has reached the breaking point, Yosef lowers the veil of the unrelenting ruler and reveals his true identity, announcing, “I am Yosef, who you sold as a slave to Egypt.” The brothers are dumbfounded. Suddenly, understanding dawns. The string of bizarre events befalling them in Egypt makes sense.

 

Many commentaries touch upon an interesting point. Why did Yosef have to rub salt on their wounds at this particular moment? He could have simply said “I am Yosef,” without reminding them of their past cruelty to him? The brothers certainly knew that they had sold him to Egypt. Why did he have to remind them of their treachery when he was about to try to reconcile with them?

 

The famous commentator, the Sfas Emes, offers the following insight. As Yosef revealed his true identity, the brothers were undoubtedly stricken with grief. The first stab of guilt was over having torn Yosef away form their father’s lap at a tender age. Although Yosef had obviously survived despite his immersion in Egyptian society, who knows how much spiritual poison it had infected him with? Had he remained under his father’s tutelage, who could tell what heights he might have reached!

 

Yosef reassured them on this score. I am Yosef, the person I was intended to become, he told them. Had I not been forced through the ordeal of being sold as a slave and having to rise above the decadence of Egyptian society I would not be Yosef. I could never have accomplished what I needed to accomplish; I would never have risen to the spiritual heights that I have attained. I only fulfilled my life mission by enduring the difficult trials to which I was subjected.

 

Only because my faith was tested did my true spirit emerge. I am Yosef precisely because you sold me to Egypt!

 

Reflecting on the difficult trials we all face in our lives, this is a powerful message to keep in mind. The harrowing and inscrutable situations that test our moral and spiritual fiber will ultimately come together as a beautiful mosaic. Rather than succumbing to questioning the purpose of this or that challenge, or complaining that we don’t deserve a particular hardship, let us fortify ourselves with the knowledge that Hashem will ultimately reveal Himself and the pieces to His Divine plan will become clear. All the bitter and bewildering events will be part of a wondrous revelation. Let us use all of our spiritual resources to keep our faith intact.

 

Wishing you a warm and wonderful Shabbos,

 

Rabbi Naftali Reich

 

Saturday, December 28, 2024

 

Where Good Times Are Found

Parshas Miketz

Chanukah

Posted on December 30, 2016 (5777) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah| Level: Beginner

The Mitzvah of Chanuka is: A candle for each man and his household! (Shabbos 21B)

And these are the names of the sons of Israel who came to Egypt; with Yaakov, each man and his household came. (Shemos 1:1)

 

It’s no mistake that the same Talmudic Language used to define the requirement for lighting a Chanukah Candle is the very same expression that describes how the Jewish Nation descended to Egypt: “Ish U Beiso” “a man and his household”. In his Haggadah, Rav Hirsch ztl. notes that the Jewish People were organized as a household unit when they entered the exile and they were also configured as households at the time of the exodus just as we find ourselves on Pesach ever since- not in a stadium but rather at home!

 

About the importance of the home as a primary survival unit Rav Hirsch writes: 

 

“To inherit a home and to build a home – this encompasses a Jew’s ethical vocation on earth. Is it not essential for the hopes and perfection of all nations? If only this great Magna Carta were consulted wherever education and culture, peace and salvation of men and mankind are discussed. For the fate of men, their success or failure, is decided neither in the chambers of rulers nor on the battlefield. It is not decided in business concerns, in colleges and institutions of arts and sciences or in houses of worship. It is sealed only in one place, in the parental home…

 

There exists no substitute for the home, and if one is looking elsewhere for the source of peace and prosperity, he is searching in vain. All of a nations politics and diplomacy, its theories of national economy and institutions for mass education, its trade and industry, its schools and community centers – none of these will save the people from extinction if they let the parental home become a parody. Are children born for the sake of the state’s false concern instead of the warm love of parents?

 

Does the census show ever-growing numbers of children without parents and parents without children? Does the nation’s high society make a mockery of morality and modesty? If so, then all the palaces it is building are founded on quicksand.”

 

A Chanukah Candle in the window shouts, “This is a Jewish home!” Now what if there is a shortage of resources and one must choose between lighting a Shabbos candle or a Chanukah candle!? Which Mitzvah takes precedence? Here we can appreciate how Jewish Law-Hallachah shapes our philosophy and not the other way around.

 

Both are Rabbinical Mitzvos of equal ranking. The reason for the Chanukah Candle is to advertise the Miracle of Chanukah and the reason for the Shabbos Candle is its impact on Shalom Bais- Peace in the Home! When there is light in a home there is peace. Which value wins out? Shabbos Candles because of “Shalom Bais”.

 

Years back when I was in college and a member of a Fraternity- Phi Tau, (As the butler said, “Es Chatai Ani Mazkir HaYom, I mention my sin today!”) Our Frat house was not the popular one! All the others were giant mansions and on a Saturday night they were pushing in the front doors of every Frat House to enter. Ours had the disadvantage of being like a Swiss Chalet with a big picture window. People passing by could look in and see nobody was in side. The emptier it looked from the outside the emptier it remained.

 

Then we had a “genius” idea. A bunch of us pressed up against the window so people passing in the street will perceive a packed house. The only problem was that when they came in, they saw a group of guys pressed against the window and an empty house. There was no way to fool the masses.

 

On Chanukah we dare not advertise to the world what we are not in our essence. Rabbi Avigdor Miller ztl. had said that when you see people out on the prowl late at night searching for good times, don’t be deceived. Similarly, if you find someone at 3 AM at the store buying eggs, you know one thing for sure. They have no eggs at home. The home is where good times are found.

 

Pawns in Divine Hands

Parshas Miketz

Posted on December 5, 2018 (5779) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

In this week’s Torah reading, we read of the dreams of the Pharaoh of Egypt. The Torah does not identify who this Pharaoh was. We know nothing about him, we know nothing as to how he became the Pharaoh. He is a complete mystery, yet he is the catalyst for everything that will happen. He will be the one who has Joseph released from prison. He is the one that will make Joseph the viceroy of Egypt. In that regard, and because of the dreams that he had, the famine comes to the entire area of the middle east and Joseph and his brothers enact the final drama of their relationship and of the building of the people of Israel.

 

It is interesting to note that throughout the Bible there are characters who are central to the story but who are basically anonymous. We do not know who they are and why they act as they do. We do not know if they are aware of the central role that they are playing in the history of civilization and of the Jewish people. From everything that we can read and understand, it seems that they are oblivious as to their role. They are behaving as ordinary human beings in what they think are ordinary circumstances and are unaware that somehow cosmic events are occurring because of them.

 

The Pharaoh simply wants to have a bad dream interpreted. He is not interested and may not even know, regarding the house of Jacob in the land of Israel, nor of the fact that there is a young Hebrew that is a prisoner in one of his dungeons. All he wants is to have his anxieties relieved by having some sort of interpretation of his frightening dream. Here we have a glimpse into how Heaven, so to speak, interferes and guides – without notice – the events of human beings and of civilization.

 

This is the nature of human life. We always concentrate on the trees and most of the time we’re not even aware that there is a forest. What looks to us to be small and insignificant choices are really magnified because of their effect upon others and upon history. The Pharaoh of Egypt does not realize that he is the center of a drama that will remain cogent and important for thirty-seven hundred years. He is not aware as to what his true role in the matter is. So, he just acts as a normal human being. Nevertheless, it is noteworthy to see how quickly he raises Joseph. He could just have said, “Well, thank you for the interpretation of the dream.” He could have just, if he wanted to be magnanimous, freed Joseph from jail.

 

But here, he elevates him. He makes him second in command of the Egyptian empire. He believes that Joseph is so talented and that the dream is so real that he must act in order to implement it. This, already, is the hand of Heaven. This points out to us how the divine will, so to speak, pushes human beings into behavior that is not quite logical, but that, in retrospect, is important, eventful, and meaningful. And that is really an important lesson that all of us should take to heart because there are no inconsequential actions of human beings. Everything that we do, everything that we say, counts and is recorded for good or for better.

 

Shabbat shalom.
Rabbi Berel Wein

 

Saturday, December 21, 2024

 

Hashem Peeking From Behind the Curtain

Parshas Vayeishev

Posted on December 13, 2022 (5783) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

What a stirring saga! Yosef is betrayed and conspired against by his brothers and then thrown into a dark pit where he is doomed to die. At the last moment, the brothers pull him out.

 

Broken in body and spirit, he endures the additional humiliation of being sold as a common slave to a passing trading caravan. What could possibly be more devastating? How utterly hopeless Yosef’s plight appears to be!

 

In the midst of this hellish scene, the Torah tells us, G-d lightened Yosef’s suffering by arranging for his journey down to Egypt to be in a fragrant, scented environment. The caravan of traders that had purchased him were carrying fine perfumes and spices. A pleasant fragrance wafted through the air around him as he made his way down to Egypt.

 

What are we to make of this information? Here Yosef is being sold into slavery with no prospects of ever being freed. Betrayed by his brothers, he is at the mercy of lawless people who could abuse and exploit him at will. At such a harrowing time, would he be likely to notice the scent around him? And if he did, what difference would it make to him in his pain and misery?

 

Yet, we must bear in mind that the Torah informs us about the spices in the caravan for a reason. Embedded in this dire and painful event was a secret note from Hashem to Yosef: ‘Don’t worry Yosef, I love you and I will spare you whatever suffering I can. Look, even here, in your miserable and wretched condition I will show you that I am peaking out from behind the curtain by sending you this little ray of positive encouragement. If only you can decipher my message of caring and love!”

 

Our lives are a long chain of challenges and difficulties. Although these hardships may be divinely ordained to tone up our spiritual muscles and help us grow, it is often difficult to recognize them as such.

 

Yet, if we are attuned, we can pinpoint moments in our lives when Hashem demonstrates that he is watching from behind the curtain. All of us can be grateful for the seemingly small but infinitely valuable daily gifts and special messages with which Hashem lets us know that He is taking care of us.

 

Be it with the blessings of good health, our precious children, beloved family and friends or the innumerable other gifts we enjoy, we are constantly graced with Hashem’s loving beneficence.

By training our emotions to always operate in thankful mode, we can weather life’s disappointments. However, if we allow ourselves to fall into the mode of “entitlement,” as if we are owed life’s blessings and luxuries, we will inevitably suffer a spiritual and emotional setback.

 

— Rabbi Naftali Reich

Text Copyright © 2013 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanenbaum Education Center.

 

 

The Spark that is the Key to Jewish Endurance

Parshas Vayeishev

Chanukah

Posted on November 26, 2021 (5782) By Mordechai Dixler | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner

A merchant once entered the marketplace, his camels loaded high with flax to sell. A blacksmith noticed the spectacle of tall, cumbersome loads of flax, and wondered aloud, “Where will all that flax go?!” A clever fellow answered him, “What’s the problem? One blow of your bellow could send a spark onto all that flax, and burn it until nothing is left!” (Midrash BR 84:5)

 

Last week’s Torah portion concluded with a lengthy accounting of Esau’s descendants, consisting of many prominent families and nations. Jacob, with his 12 sons, was just beginning to establish the Jewish nation, and Jacob felt intimidated by the growing dominance of his brother Esau. Like the blacksmith, he wondered, what will happen to this little nation of Jews, when they are threatened by oppressors and influences from mighty kingdoms? Just as a small town would appear too small to consume massive piles of flax, the Jewish people would be no match for the overwhelming pressure they would face among the kingdoms of Esau.

 

The answer, says the Midrash, is “These are the descendants of Jacob, Joseph… (Gen. 37:2)” Joseph, who faithfully kept to the moral values of his father’s house, and overcame tremendous challenges (as recorded in this week’s portion), would be the key to survival through the generations. “The house of Jacob will be the fire, the house of Joseph the flame, and the house of Esau the straw (Ovadiah 1).” A spark will come from Joseph that will burn up any threat. (See Rashi Gen. 37:1)

 

Chanukah marks the Jewish victory over the Greeks. The threat from Greece was not so much a threat to Jewish lives, but a threat to the lifeblood of the Jewish nation: G-d’s Torah. All the decrees against the Jewish people were designed to erase Torah study and Mitzvah observance.

 

If successful, the Jews would assimilate and lose all identity. How could this little Jewish nation possibly face the world power of Greece and Greek culture? Inspired by the steadfast strength of Joseph, Judah Maccabee, his brothers, and all those who would stand for G-d’s Torah and service, bravely dared to oppose the Greeks. G-d was impressed by their intense faith, and gave them a miraculous victory over the Greek armies, restoring their liberty to practice and study G-d’s Torah. The light of the Torah, that spark of their ancestors, burned up the threat of the most dominant culture.

 

This Chanukah, let’s remember the sacrifice of our faithful ancestors, and G-d’s hand that guided us to victory. The miracle of the oil made it clear for all generations that G-d defends those faithful to Torah, and its eternal flames will always give us the strength to continue in our devoted service of the Al-mighty.

 

Saturday, December 14, 2024

 

The Roots of Strength

Parshas Vayishlach

Posted on December 3, 2020 (5781) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

Yiddishe nachas – two words so full of Jewish meaning that they defy translation into any other language. Yiddishe nachas is that special blend of pride, joy and satisfaction that Jewish parents feel when they look at their successful children and remember all the effort that went into them. It is a sigh and a smile grafted together.

 

Child rearing is never easy, especially in Jewish families that demand so much from their children. Even in the best of circumstances, molding a child into a sensitive, responsible person is not only a rewarding experience but also a harrowing ordeal that lasts for some twenty years.

 

And should problems arise – as they often do – the ordeal can become next to unbearable.

 

Why is this so? We don’t find such extended periods of child rearing among any other species in the world. The young are born, they are kept under their mother’s figurative wing for a few hours or days or weeks, and they’re off on their own. Humans, however, are helpless for the first few years of life and heavily dependent on their parents for many years afterwards. We find the same disparity in childbirth itself. All species give birth quickly and easily – except for humans. Why did Hashem see fit to bring the little bundles of joys into the world by such a painful process? And why did he give them such a long period of dependency?

 

Perhaps we can find the answers in this week’s parshah. As Rachel feels her life ebbing away after a very difficult childbirth, she looks at her newborn son and with her last gasping breaths she names him Ben Oni, “the child of my affliction.” But Jacob does not accept this name for his son. Instead, he names him Ben Yamin (Benjamin), “the child of the right hand.” Why didn’t Jacob allow the child to carry the name his mother had given him with her dying breath?

 

The Ramban explains that Jacob was not rejecting the name Rachel had chosen. Rather, he was focusing on one specific aspect of it. The word oni means both affliction and strength, and these two concepts are very closely related. Strength is inevitably the result of affliction. Solid results of lasting value can only be achieved through toil, sweat and tears. Therefore, Jacob chose to name his son Ben Yamin, because the right hand symbolizes strength, which goes hand in hand with affliction.

 

Human beings are infinitely higher than the creatures of the animal kingdom. They cannot be formed with a snap of the fingers. It takes years and decades of careful nurturing and education to produce this wondrous creature known as a human being. And the more effort invested the greater the reward.

 

A man once came to visit a principal of a large school. As he waited in the office, he saw the principal in the hallway surrounded by children clamoring for his attention. The principal responded to each of the children with patience and a kind word. When they had all gone, he came in to greet his visitor.

 

“I don’t know how you manage it,” the visitor commented. “I would go out of my mind if I had to go through every day with dozens of little kids screaming in my ears. You must be climbing the walls!”

 

“Not at all, my friend,” said the principal. “Each of these children is an unpolished diamond. I spend years shaping, smoothing, polishing and buffing these precious little diamonds in the rough, and by the time they leave me, I can see them glittering from within. Which of these little diamonds would you have me discard?”

 

We all have our own shares of troubles in life, but we should view them as obstacles to overcome on the road to personal fulfillment. Each obstacle is an opportunity for growth, depending on how we respond to it. Like Rachel, we must recognize the afflictions that are part of life, and like Jacob, we must see in them the roots of a strength that will make it all worthwhile.

 

Text Copyright © 2006 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

 

Saturday, December 7, 2024

 

Smokescreen

Parshas Vayeitzei

Posted on December 5, 2024 (5785) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha| Level: Beginner

It just doesn’t make sense. After more than twenty years of toiling in the house of Lavan (Laban), Yaakov (Jacob) wants out. He should have been entitled to. After all, he married Lavan’s daughters in exchange for years of tending the sheep, He increased Lavan’s livestock population many fold, and he was a faithful son-in-law despite a conniving huckster of a father-in-law. Yet when Yaakov leaves Lavan’s home with his wives, children, and flocks, he sneaks out, fearing that Lavan would never let him leave. He is pursued by Lavan who chases him with a vengeance. But Yaakov is lucky. Hashem appears to Lavan in a dream and warns him not to harm Yaakov. Eventually, Lavan overtakes Yaakov and accosts him. “Why have you led my daughters away like captives of the sword? Why have you fled, secretly, without notifying me?

 

Had you told me you wanted to leave I would have sent you off with song and music!” (Genesis 31:26-27)

 

Yaakov answers his father-in-law by declaring his fear. “You would have stolen your daughters from me.” Lavan then searched all of Yaakov’s belongings looking for idols missing from his collection. Yaakov was outraged. He simply did not understand what Lavan wanted. Yaakov responds to the attack by detailing the tremendous amount of selfless work, through scorching heat and freezing nights, that he toiled in order to make Lavan a wealthy man. Reviewing the care and concern that he had for his wives and children, Yaakov declares that he is not worthy of the mean-spirited attacks made by his father-in-law, Lavan. And,” Yaakov adds, “If not for the protection of Hashem, Lavan would have sent me away empty handed.” (Genesis 31:38-42)

 

Yet Lavan is unmoved. Like a stoic, unyielding dictator, Lavan responds. “The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, the flock is my flock and all that you see is mine.” (Genesis 31:43)

 

What can be going on in Lavan’s mind? What motivates a man to be so selfish and unreasonable?

 

My friend Reb Yossel Czopnik told me the following true story about Yankel, a heavy smoker who went to see a certain hypnotist who had cured a large number of people. In a method that combined hypnosis, electrodes, and a little cajoling while placing little metal balls behind the ears, patients swore that the urge to smoke had been totally eradicated from their minds.

 

Yankel went to the doctor and underwent the entire ritual. The balls went behind his ears, the electrodes were attached to his temples, and the doctor began to talk.

 

“Let me ask you, Yankel,” questioned the doctor of the well wired patient, “every time you inhale a cigarette do you know what is happening? Close your eyes and imagine your lips puckered around the tail pipe of a New York City bus! Now, take a deep breath. Imagine all those noxious fumes filling your lungs! That is what the cigarettes are doing to you!”

 

Yankel went home that night still wanting a smoke but decided to hold off. “Maybe it takes one night,” he thought.

 

The next morning nothing seemed to change. In fact, on his way to work, he had queasy feelings. As soon as he entered his office Yankel picked up the telephone and called the doctor.

 

“So,” asked the doctor, “How do you feel? I’m sure you didn’t have a cigarette yet! I bet you have no desire for them anymore!”

 

Yankel was hesitant. “Honestly, Doc. I’m not sure. One thing I can tell you, however. All morning long, on my way to work I was chasing city buses!”

 

Lavan just wouldn’t get it. No matter how clearly Yaakov explained his case, twenty years of work, the devoted labor under scorching heat and freezing cold, Lavan just stood unmoved.

 

“The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, and whatever you have is mine.”

 

When the sickness of egocentrism overtakes the emotional stability of a human soul; one can talk, cajole, or persuade. The Almighty can even appear in a dream and do his part. It is helpless. Unless one actually takes the initiative to realize his or her shortcomings, anything that anyone may tell them is only a blast of noxious air.

 Brothers in Arms

Parshas Vayeitzei

Posted on December 5, 2024 (5785) By Rabbi Yochanan Zweig | Series: Rabbi Zweig on the Parsha| Level: Intermediate Beginner

And Yaakov said to his brothers, ‘Gather stones!’…” (31:46)

 

After spending twenty years in Charan, Yaakov flees with his family to Eretz Yisroel. Lavan pursues Yaakov with the intention of killing him{1}. However, Hashem intervenes and warns Lavan not to harm Yaakov{2}. When he confronts Yaakov, Lavan proposes a treaty. Among the terms of the treaty a landmark is designated on the border between Canaan and Aram which both parties agree not to cross with hostile intentions{3}. The verse records “Yaakov said to his brothers ‘Gather stones!’ So they gathered stones for a mound upon which they ate a meal{4}.”

 

The commentaries disagree as to who the “brothers” of Yaakov are and what eating upon this mound signifies The Ramban understands that the brothers are Lavan’s companions and the meal is part of the covenant, signaling mutual acceptance of the pact{5}.

 

However, Rashi maintains that the brothers are, in fact, Yaakov’s children, and that they are referred to as “brothers” because they stand by Yaakov in battle and times of distress{6}. The meal, therefore, signifies Yaakov staking his claim to the area past the Aramean border{7}.

 

The bond between children and parents is even closer than that between siblings. How does the Torah’s referring to Yaakov’s children as his “brothers” reflect their commitment to their father in battle? What insight into the parent-child relationship is the Torah offering?

 

Commensurate to the responsibility a parent expects his child to assume, is the independence which the parent must be willing to allow his child to acquire. Parents must allow their children the freedom to stand on their own. Not given this freedom, a child will perceive himself as completely subordinate in his position vis-à-vis his parents, for they have always been his caretakers and providers. Consequently, he will never be in the proper state of mind to assume the mantle of responsibility required by his parents.

 

Rashi is explaining that Yaakov does not call his children “brothers” because they go to battle with him, rather, to assure that they would be able to go to battle with him. A child has a greater commitment to his parent than to his sibling. However, this does not ensure that he will be more effective in performing the task required. A child who views his parents as his protectors, will be ineffective in their defense. By Yaakov giving his children a sense of equality, he brings forth from within them a new level of responsibility which would be required in dire straits.

 

1.Yerushalmi, Pe’ah 1:1
2.31:24
3.31:44