Balanced Perspective

Parshas Vayigash

Posted on December 6, 2021 (5782) By Rabbi Shlomo Jarcaig | Series: Kol HaKollel | Level: Beginner

Soon after our forefather Yaakov (Jacob) descended to Egypt to commence the first Jewish national exile, he met the Pharaoh. “And Pharaoh said to Yaakov, ‘How many are the days of the years of your life?’ And Yaakov said to Pharaoh, ‘The days of the years of my sojourns have been one hundred and thirty years; few and bad have been the days of the years of my life, and they have not reached the days of the years of the lives of my forefathers in the days of their sojourns.'” (Beraishis/Genesis 47:8-9)

 

The Kli Yakar (1) explains that Pharaoh inquired about Yaakov’s age because he had heard that when Yaakov came to the Nile River the waters rose to his feet. Pharaoh hoped that Yaakov’s presence could bring an end to the famine they were experiencing. When he saw how old Yaakov appeared he was concerned that Yaakov was nearing the end of his days. Indeed, his appearance was not an accurate indication of his age, since he aged prematurely because of the unusual amount of suffering he had endured.

 

Despite the legitimacy of Yaakov’s point – his life was genuinely difficult – the Midrash says that someone who had forged such an intense relationship with the Divine as had Yaakov should have appreciated the Divine loving kindness demonstrated when G-d saved Yaakov from Esav and Lavan and reunited him with Joseph. For one of Yaakov’s righteousness and spiritual stature, complaining was inappropriate. Therefore, concludes the Midrash, he was punished by losing a year of life for each word of their conversation. What is perplexing about this Midrash is its statement that Yaakov was punished for Pharaoh’s words. Even if Yaakov was expected not to complain, why should he be punished for being asked a question?

 

Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz (2) explains that Yaakov looked older because he allowed his sorrows in life to affect him. True contentment is not in the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have. Had Yaakov focused to the best of his ability on the great benevolence shown by G-d, despite his travails, he would not have appeared as aged as he did. This fault led to Pharaoh’s inquiry and for this he was punished.

 

A parable is told of a man who discovered that he had won the lottery. As he celebrated he accidentally knocked over and broke a vase. His concern over the broken vase was not so great for he realized he had something much more valuable. We all have gifts from G-d – vision, hearing, health, loved ones. When we stop and appreciate the value of what we have, we maintain the proper perspective to deal with the difficulties we endure.

 

Have a Good Shabbos!

Forever Youthful

Parshas Vayigash

Posted on December 30, 2022 (5783) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

How can I go up to my father if the (Naar) boy is not with me?… (Breishis 44:34)

Sometimes a verse in the Torah can be learned as a freestanding statement abstract from the context of the narrative. Here Yehuda is desperately pleading to rescue his youngest brother Benyamin and he utters a few words that have deep significance to each and every one of us, “How can I go up to my father and the NAAR- the youth is not with me!?”

 

We are all children of HASHEM, literally, as the verse explicitly states, “Banim Atem L’HASHEM Elocheichem” – You are children of HASHEM your G-d!” (Devarim 14:1) We are gifted with an inherent and unbreakable bond with HASHEM. A parent -child relationship is forever. The love is unconditional. It can be developed and enhanced but it is not an artificially crafted or abstract construct. It’s natural! We come into this world installed with this program. It’s part of our spiritual DNA. We have this natural attraction and yearning to come close to HASHEM, like a child’s desire to be near his father, or like a smaller magnet is drawn to a larger magnet.

 

With all this, it is still possible for barriers to be erected that weaken that magnetic pull. It is relatively easy to put a child’s picture or a test on the fridge with a magnet. Only a slim piece of paper stands between the magnet and the metal but if layers and layers of papers are added, it becomes increasingly difficult and even impossible for the magnet and the fridge to detect the attraction. Certainly, if one attempts to place the entire Sunday Times on the fridge, no magnetism can be felt through that thick impediment. The attraction is still there. It always was, and always will be, but there is a blockage.

 

More than once I have had people tell me, “Rabbi, please talk to my niece. She’s an atheist!” My answer is always the same. “Tell your niece there’s a guy named Label Lam who does not believe that she is really an atheist!” When I do meet a person who feels this way, it is usually based on some deep emotional component, and they feel anger towards G-d! It’s not that they don’t believe. They are busy being angry at a G-d they claim does not exist.

 

If just some layers of antagonism can be melted, healed or peeled away then a powerful pull will immediately be felt again.

 

Now let’s go back to Yehuda’s expression, “How can I go up to my father and the youth is not with me?!” Although Shakespeare had said it, “You can’t take it with you”, and Lord knows the Pharaoh’s tried with all their might but were unsuccessful, there is something that we can and we must take with us. How can we go up to our Father in Heaven without that sweet, innocent, playful, and wholesome child!? How did we allow that essential part of our being to become buried in negativity and cynicism!?

What is the nature of this “youth”? The Baal Shem Tov said that we can learn three important things from little children. Number one, that they are constantly curious; their heads are always turning; they’re exploring, and they’re testing the limits of everything, including their parent’s patience. Number two, they’re happy with the smallest things. We think they need sophisticated toys, but they’re often content to play with the box or the wrapper the toy came in, or to paint the highchair, and their little brother with chocolate yogurt. And number three, when they want something badly enough, they cry out to their father.

 

And so even we, in our advanced age, we can learn to be curious about the mysteries of HASHEM’s universe and His Torah; to be content, and excited, and appreciate even the smallest things; and when we want something badly enough, to cry out to our Father is Heaven, Avinu Sh’B’Shemayim.

 

Yehuda’s rhetorical question reverberates through the cosmos even still. How can we go up to our father and the youth is not with us?! Curiosity and idealism are the signs of youthfulness along with a child’s natural love for his father. It’s something that carries us happily through life and we take it with us when we go up to our Father in Heaven. King Dovid wrote, “NAAR Hayisi Gam Zakanti” – “I was youthful – I am also old”. It’s not a contradiction at all. It may be required, even while old, to be forever youthful.