Healthy Competition
Parshas
Toldos
Posted on November 28, 2019 (5780) By
Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein
| Level: Beginner
Sibling rivalry is the
name of the game. In fact, the entire book of Bereishis can be described as a
narrative of sibling rivalry. We have Kayin and Hevel, Avraham and his nephew
Lot, Yishmael and Yitzchak, Yaakov and Eisav and Yosef and his brothers. It is
as though the Torah wishes to inform and impress upon us the true nature of
human beings.
I often think that that
is what is meant when the Torah said that the nature of human beings is bad
from its onset. We are by nature competitive creatures and the competition
always begins at home and with those who are closest to us. We should not think
of our children as being angelic but rather deal with their true nature and
recognize the pitfalls that natural sibling rivalry will always engender.
Every child is a different world and no two – even identical
twins – are the same. Because of this fact of human nature, competitiveness is
built into the structure of all children. It is the task of education and the
home to channel this competitiveness into positive behavior and creative goals.
This is what the Rabbis meant by their statement that the competitiveness
between scholars and wise men is a method for increasing wisdom and
understanding generally. Without competitiveness there can be very little
creativity or advancement in all forms of life – technology, healthcare,
finance, politics and human nature. The task is to direct this competitiveness
towards positive aims and to limit it so that it does not descend into violence
and tyranny.
Part of the problem
with Eisav is not competitiveness but rather insecurity. He always feels his
younger brother tugging at his heel and preventing him from achieving the
greatness that he feels is his due. Because of this insecurity, he seeks fame
and fortune in opposing the ideas and lifestyle of his own very family. He
scorns his birthright because he feels that fulfilling its demands will only
inhibit him. He feels that only by being different than Yaakov can he achieve
permanent respect. As all his plans crumble, he cries out in anguish to his father
that he wants the blessings that Yaakov has received. He realizes that only in
those blessings, which he will have to share always with Yaakov, can his
destiny truly be fulfilled.
This is what Yaakov himself tells Eisav at their last meeting,
which we will read about in a few weeks. Eventually Yaakov will come to the
mountain of Eisav and then Eisav will be redeemed by his acceptance of Yaakov
and of the moral values and tradition of his family. Throughout the books of Tanach,
we find this constant struggle of insecurity versus acceptance and
competitiveness versus conformity. We are uncomfortable when we see people who
are different than we are. But the only way to achieve personal greatness is by
realizing that our own inner security need not be weakened by competitiveness
with others.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein
Rabbi Berel Wein
A Healthy Transmission
Parshas
Toldos
The Torah spends a
great deal of time discussing the life of our forefather Avraham, and that of
Yaakov. By comparison, Yitzchak receives relatively short shrift. The offering
of Yitzchak as a Korban, a sacrifice, is primarily told as a test of his
father. It is Eliezer, his father’s servant, who goes out to find Yitzchak a
wife. And though I have not done a formal count, I strongly suspect that the
Torah provides a longer account of Eliezer’s visit to the family of Besuel, Rivkah’s
father, than the total of all verses directly discussing Yitzchak. Yitzchak
meets and marries his wife at the end of last week’s reading, and this week
begins by discussing “Toldos” Yitzchak, meaning his children Yaakov and
Esav.
Much of what we hear
about Yitzchak sounds very familiar. He is forced to hide his wife’s identity,
fearing for his life. That is precisely what happened to his father. We
learn that Yitzchak goes back and digs the same wells that his father
previously dug, which the Pelishtim had filled with dirt.
Even in appearance,
Yitzchak was like his father. Rashi tells us, in his commentary to the first
verse of our reading, that the mockers of Avraham’s time said that it must be
that Sarah became pregnant from Avimelech, because she had been with Avraham
for many years and only became pregnant after being briefly taken by Avimelech.
To prove otherwise, G-d made Yitzchak look so profoundly similar to his father
that no modern DNA test was needed to prove paternity.
So with all of the
above, what is Yitzchak’s unique identity?
Our Rabbis teach that
our forefathers were each paragons of a particular character trait. For
Avraham, that was Chesed, kindness. He was so devoted to reaching out,
to showing generosity to others, that he ran to welcome idolaters into his tent
(or, angels that he believed to be idolaters) while suffering the worst day of
recovery from his circumcision. Yaakov’s defining characteristic was Emes,
truth, and thus the biggest tests for him were needing to mislead his father,
and then deal with Lavan’s deception.
Yitzchak’s characteristic
was Gevurah, strength. How did he show that strength?
One answer is found in
the very similarity to his father’s story, that we find above. Yitzchak’s
mission was to hold firm to the teachings of his father, and prove that his
father, though a uniquely great individual, would not be a “one off,” an
“aberration,” a “blip on the radar.”
We learn that Yaakov,
when he ran from Esav, went to study with Noach’s son Shem and grandson Ever.
Shem and Ever were great men, they knew Torah through prophecy, yet they were
unable to transmit righteousness to their descendants. Yitzchak was able to
take what he learned from Avraham, and give it to Yaakov. Yitzchak is the
linchpin tying grandfather to grandson, creating the “threefold chain” which,
our Sages teach, “is not easily broken.
In last week’s reading,
when Rivkah comes to Yitzchak, he marries her, and loves her, and “is consoled
after his mother.” Rashi tells us that during Sarah’s lifetime, she would light
the Shabbos candles, and they would continue burning until the eve of the
following Shabbos. She would bake loaves, and they would be blessed. The cloud
of the Divine Presence rested by the tent. When Sarah passed away, all of these
three things stopped. But when Rivkah came to the tent, the blessings returned.
Yitzchak saw
consolation, because he wanted that continuity. He wanted to see his wife able
to bring the same blessings as his mother brought, because he wanted to follow
in the path of his father. He did not want to strike out on his own, to do
something different. On the contrary, his very strength of character was shown
in how carefully he modeled to the example set by his holy parents.
All of us, as Jews, come from those holy ancestors. We, like
Yitzchak, must strive to continue, to hold fast to the patterns set by our holy
forebears, to maintain that which we have, and to successfully transmit it to
the next generation. May we be successful in doing so until the end of days.
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