Blessing In Disguise

Parshas Vayera

Posted on November 4, 2020 (5781) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha| Level: Beginner

In Pashas Vayera, Sora, the 90-year-old wife of Avraham, receives a most surprising piece of information from an even more surprising source. She is told by Arab nomads, who had found obliging accommodation in Avraham’s house, that in one year she will have a child. Instinctively, she reacts in disbelief to this predicton. She laughs.

 

Immediately, Hashem appears to Avraham and He is upset. “Why did Sora laugh? Is there something that is beyond the Almighty? At the appointed time I shall return, and behold Sora will have a son (Genesis 18:12-13).

 

Hashem’s ire must be explained. After all, Sora was not told by Hashem that she will have a baby. She was informed by what appeared to be Arab wanderers. And though the Talmud explains that the three nomads were indeed angels sent by the Almighty, they did not identify themselves as such. So what does G-d want from Sora?

 

 

A man once entered the small study of the revered the Steipler Gaon, Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievski with a plea. “I’d like a blessing from the Rav. My daughter has been looking to get married for several years. All her friends are married and she would like to get married too, but nothing is working. Can the Rosh Yeshiva bless her to find her bashert? (appropriate one),” he asked.

 

The Steipler turned to the man and asked, “Is this your first daughter?”

 

“No,” replied the distraught parent, “Why do you ask?”

 

“When she was born did you celebrate with a kiddush?” ( a celebratory party in a religious setting)

 

The man was perplexed. “No. But, that was 27 years ago,” he stammerred, “and she was my third girl.

 

I may have made a l’chayim while the minyan was leaving shul, but I never made a proper kiddush. But what does a missed kiddush 27 years ago have to do with my daughter’s shidduch (match) today?”

 

“When one makes a kiddush at a festive occasions,” explained Rav Kanievski, ” each l’chayim he receives is accompanied by myriad blessings. Some are from friends, others from relatives, and those blessings given by total strangers.

 

Among those blessings are definitely the perfunctory wishes for an easy time in getting married. By not making a kiddush for your daughter, how many blessings did you deprive her of? I suggest you make your daughter the kiddush that she never had.”

 

The man followed the advice, and sure enough within weeks after the kiddush the girl had met her mate.

 

At the bris (circumcision) of his first son (after ten girls), my uncle, Rabbi Dovid Speigel, the Ostrove-Kalushin Rebbe of Cedarhurst, Long Island, quoted the Ramban (Nachmanides) in this week’s portion.

 

The reason that Hashem was upset at Sora was that even if an Arab nomad gives the blessing, one must be duly vigilant to respond, “Amen.” One never knows the true vehicle of blessing and salvation. Hashem has many conduits and messengers. Some of those messengers’ divinity is inversely proportional to their appearance.

 

What we have to do is wait, listen, and pray that our prospective exalter is the carrier of the true blessing. And then, we have to believe.

 

Quite often, we have ample opportunities to be blessed. Whether it is from the aunt who offers her graces at a family gathering or the simple beggar standing outside a doorway on a freezing winter day, blessings always come our way. Sometimes they come from the co-worker who cheers you on at the end of a long day or the mail carrier who greets you with the perfunctory “have a nice day” as he brings today’s tidings. Each blessing is an opportunity that knocks. And each acknowledgment and look to heaven may open the door to great salvation. The only thing left for us to do is let those blessings in.

 

Good Shabbos.

 

Bridging the Generation Gap

Parshas Vayera

Posted on October 25, 2018 (5779) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

One of the more salient lessons that we derive from this week’s Torah reading regarding Abraham and Isaac is the emphasis that the Torah places on the fact that they went together to ascend to the mountain of Moriah. The hallmark of Jewish life over its long history has been the continuity and bond between generations.

 

Every generation differs in many aspects from the generation that preceded it. This certainly is true regarding the Jewish generations that have existed over the past few centuries. Scientific discoveries, enormous social changes, technology and communication that was previously unimaginable and an entirely different set of social and economic values have transformed the Jewish world in a radical fashion. It is much more difficult, if not even, in some cases impossible for parents and children to walk together towards a common goal.

 

The secularization of much of Eastern-European Jewry during the 19th and 20th centuries is testimony to this fact. Even though different generations will always see matters in a different light there perhaps has never been such a radical and almost dysfunctional separation of generations as were undergone during this period.

 

It is basically true that the new generation of the 20th Century also wanted to reach and climb the mountain of Moriah, but they did not want to do so accompanied by their elders. In discarding the previous generation and its teachings and way of life, the new generation ascended many mountains, but they never climbed the right one. And much of Jewry today is stranded on strange peaks and at dangerous heights.

 

The challenge of the continuity of generations is an enormous one. No matter how hard each family may try, not one has a guarantee of 100% success in maintaining the great chain of Jewish tradition. In fact, in my opinion, the challenge and task of today’s generation, to somehow remain connected and retain their values and purpose in life, is far greater than when I was a child.

 

Being able to walk together, facing the enormous challenges of modern life is a rare blessing in our time. It is not merely a matter of education and finding the right schools and raising children in a positive environment, but it is even more importantly the development of familial pride, with its warmth and love that are important and necessary to achieve the goal of generational continuity.

 

There is no magic bullet, or one size fits all solution to this type of challenge. There is a famous metaphor attributed to one of the great Eastern European rabbis who said that we are all but ships traversing the sea to arrive at our final destination. Every ship leaves a wake in its passing to mark where the safe passage exists. However, that wake soon disappears and every ship must make its own way across the sea of life. The same is true about binding the generations together. The attempt to do so must be constant and one should never despair. It can be achieved.

 

Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein