Children

Parshas Tazria

Posted on April 28, 2017 (5778) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

The Torah is pro-family. It commands people to marry and have children. This week’s parsha deals with the ritual laws of cleanliness and impurity inherent in giving birth to a child. Though the laws of purity and impurity have little consequence in our lives today due to the absence of the Temple and its rituals, there are certain laws regarding childbirth that still retain actuality today. But, I wish to dwell on the broader aspect of having children in this article. One of the main problems facing Jewish society today is demographic. Bluntly put, Jews are not reproducing themselves. In the United States, the statistics regarding Jewish births show that the birth rate is down to 1.8 – minus population growth, not just zero population growth. This is attributable to many factors – a large number of permanent singles, the declining birthrate that seemingly always accompanies economic affluence, people marrying later, women choosing careers over family, etc. Whatever the reasons, the numbers spell disaster for the future of American Jewry. And here in Israel, the birth rate among secular Jews is also spectacularly low. Compounding the problem is the high number of abortions undertaken by Jewish women every year, the numbers of these abortions being measured reportedly in the tens of thousands. There are wonderful organizations here in Israel that are committed to helping women in desperate straits give birth to their children instead of resorting to abortion. But in the overall picture these efforts are usually too little and too late.

We may be heartened by the fact that in the religious Jewish community there is currently a high birthrate, 7.6 in the Charedi society and 4.2 in the Dati society. Eventually, this will cause a vast change in the life, politics and behavior of our country. But for now, because more than fifty percent of the Charedi population and a third of the Dati population is under the age of eight, this is not recognizable. It should be apparent that there could be no Jewish people if there are not enough Jews to populate the nation and the Land of Israel. The Jewish people, sixty years after the Holocaust ended still has not made up its losses. In fact, it has not even come close. There were nineteen million Jews in the world in 1939. There are barely fourteen million Jews today. The price of Auschwitz, assimilation and intermarriage is very high. A shrinking base of Jewish population will spell the loss of Jewish influence and ideas in the world. And that would truly be a tragedy for all concerned.

The Lord told us in advance that we would not be a people of great numbers – “for you are the smallest of all nations.” Nevertheless, we have an obligation to promote increased Jewish population and numbers. Family, children, generations, these are the values that Jews are judged by. It is our way of guaranteeing that the message of Sinai will continue to be heard in a world that so desperately needs to hear it.

Shabat shalom.
Rabbi Berel Wein Text Copyright © 2005 by Rabbi Berel Wein and Torah.org

 

Good News and Bad News

Parshas Tazria Metzorah

Posted on April 26, 2012 (5772) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah | Level: Beginner

And the person with Tzaraas in whom there is the affliction – his garments shall be torn, the hair of his head shall be unshorn, and he shall cloak himself up to his lips; he is to call out, “Contaminated, contaminated!” All the days the affliction is upon him he shall remain contaminated. He shall dwell in isolation; his dwelling shall be outside the camp. (Vayikra 13:45-46)

Tzarass is woefully misunderstood. It is seen as an archaic matter, a form of leprosy that for some reason is no longer applicable or relevant. The truth is that Tzarass, according to the sainted Chofetz Chaim was a blessing in disguise. How so?

I went through half a dozen clunker cars until I learned two important words that have served me in good stead. Actually it was not until I bought a more expensive vehicle and realized that I was not comfortable making payments for a car that no longer functioned that I bothered to take the user’s manual out of the glove compartment of the car and discover this two word phrase that has granted longer and healthier life to every one of my automobiles ever since. By the way, those two words are, “Oil change!”

Now, though, the newer cars have something the older ones did not and that is the proverbial, “Amber light!” Once the amber light goes on, or the “check engine” sign on the dashboard it’s time to ask. Without that earlier warning system we are at a real disadvantage. Tzarass was a sort of earlier warning system, an amber-light to alert us that spiritual deficiencies were starting wreak havoc on our system. We operate now at a distinct disadvantage without Tzarass!

There’s an old country folksy phrase that goes like this, “You can hide the fire, but what are you gonna do with all the smoke?!” Tzarass is like smoke bellowing out form the engine of our being, a scent of danger to remind us repair our ways. Although, Tzarass, technically, is no longer active the concept of Tzarass is still very much alive!

Guilt also got a bad rap for similar reasons but it’s also good in a way that needs explanation. Guilt is to the soul what pain is to the body. Although nobody likes to experience pain it can be extremely beneficial. A person without the ability to feel pain would certainly be likely to be missing digits and whole limbs. While making a salad they might realize a little too late that the red in in the bowl is not from tomatoes, pardon me! Both guilt and pain if properly responded to, serve to guide us away from certain damage.

Another signal that helps us figure out what might be wrong is in the arena of raising children. In a class I have been giving for a while called, “The Ten Commandments of Parenting”. The first of the “big ten” is “I am HASHEM your G-d Who took you out from the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage!” The first commandment of parenting is that parents too stand before their children, whether aware or not, and say with their actions, “This is who we are and this is what we do!” It’s no wonder that in the first paragraph is written, “And these words that I command you today you shall place upon your heart and you should teach them to your children.” First they must be on your heart and then to be taught because children read the heart. They have a sincerity meter that’s extremely sensitive! In the second paragraph of “Shema” it says, “And you should teach your children to speak in them (Torah)” and then it continues to tell us how to teach this lesson, “with your sitting in your house, and your- going on your way and the way you go to bed and the way you rise up”. Children are following their primary role models, their parent!

A young lady was asked by a Rabbi at a general lecture, “What is your parents’ greatest source of pleasure?” A broad smile came across her face and she replied, Me!” The Rabbi continued his line of questioning, “What’s your parents’ greatest source of pain?” Now with in a more somber tone she responded, “My sister!” Why are kids both the greatest source of pleasure and the greatest source of pain? I believe we all realize intuitively that they are “us- (mother and father) playing out our real selves on the big screen of life.

Many things are a form of Tzarass, in that they can lead us to make critical adjustment before it’s too late. All of life is a self-portrait and the canvass on which we operate grabs our undivided attention, all too often only when we witness vivid pictures of good news and bad news.

DvarTorah, Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Label Lam and Torah.org.

 

I Need To Be Heard

The Talmud teaches that each of the Kohain’s garments atoned for a particular transgression. Concerning the “me’il” – the robe with bells attached to its hem, the Torah states, “It must be on Aharon when he ministers so that its sound be heard when he enters the Sanctuary.” The Talmud records that the me’il atoned for “Lashon Harah” – evil speech; “Let the garment of sound atone for the sin of sound.”¹ In a similar vein, Rashi cites the Talmud which explains the use of birds in the Metzorah’s purification process in the following manner: “Let the one who violates the transgression of sound bring as an atonement the animal that makes sound i.e. the bird.”² Why is Lashon Harah being described as a sin of sound? Should the focus of the transgression be on its decibel level rather than on its contents?

The Rambam records that the person who listens to Lashon Harah is more accountable than the person who speaks it.³ Why?

In order to answer the aforementioned questions, we must gain some insight into the motivation of the Ba’al Lashon Harah. Every person has a deep need to validate his existence. The two ways in which people attempt to meet this need are either internally, by fulfilling their potential, or by putting down others, which gives them a false sense of superiority. The Ba’al Lashon Harah does not measure himself by his own potential, rather in relation to others. Therefore, in order to assert himself in the public eye, he needs to put others down. Lashon Harah is not as much a personal attack on an individual as it is the Ba’al Lashon Harah’s need to assert himself. He needs to be heard. Therefore, the Talmud describes Lashon Harah as a sin of sound. It is important for a victim of Lashon Harah to realize the driving force behind Lashon Harah; this allows for a greater chance of reconciliation. He needs to understand that he just happened to be the vehicle through which the Ba’al Lashon Harah was asserting himself.

When a person measures himself in relation to others, he needs a forum in which his words will be accepted, for if no one will listen to him, he cannot attain the feeling of superiority which he seeks. Therefore, the person who listens is violating an even greater transgression than the speaker, for he is providing the forum in which the Ba’al Lashon Harah can assert himself.

This disease of measuring ourselves vis-a-vis others has spread throughout contemporary society. Competition has become the only way by which we measure ourselves. This is an extremely destructive tool, for it suppresses the ability to measure ourselves by who we really are. There is no emphasis on fulfilling our potential, for reward is meted out based upon success measured by our victory over one another, rather than the extent to which we have fulfilled our potential.

1.Zevachim 88b, Arachin 16a 2.14:4 3.Yad Hil. Deios 7:3