Blessing In Disguise

Parshas Vayera

Posted on November 4, 2020 (5781) By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha| Level: Beginner

In Pashas Vayera, Sora, the 90-year-old wife of Avraham, receives a most surprising piece of information from an even more surprising source. She is told by Arab nomads, who had found obliging accommodation in Avraham’s house, that in one year she will have a child. Instinctively, she reacts in disbelief to this prediction. She laughs.

 

Immediately, Hashem appears to Avraham He is upset. “Why did Sora laugh? Is there something that is beyond the Almighty? At the appointed time I shall return, and behold Sora will have a son (Genesis 18:12-13).

 

Hashem’s ire must be explained. After all, Sora was not told by Hashem that she will have a baby. She was informed by what appeared to be Arab wanderers. And though the Talmud explains that the three nomads were indeed angels sent by the Almighty, they did not identify themselves as such. So what does G-d want from Sora?

 

A man once entered the small study of the revered the Steipler Gaon, Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievski with a plea. “I’d like a blessing from the Rav. My daughter has been looking to get married for several years. All her friends are married and she would like to get married too, but nothing is working. Can the Rosh Yeshiva bless her to find her bashert? (appropriate one),” he asked.

 

The Steipler turned to the man and asked, “Is this your first daughter?”

 

“No,” replied the distraught parent, “Why do you ask?”

 

“When she was born did you celebrate with a kiddush?” ( a celebratory party in a religious setting)

 

The man was perplexed. “No. But, that was 27 years ago,” he stammerred, “and she was my third girl. I may have made a l’chayim while the minyan was leaving shul, but I never made a proper kiddush. But what does a missed kiddush 27 years ago have to do with my daughter’s shidduch (match) today?”

 

“When one makes a kiddush at a festive occasions,” explained Rav Kanievski, ” each l’chayim he receives is accompanied by myriad blessings. Some are from friends, others from relatives, and those blessings given by total strangers.

 

Among those blessings are definitely the perfunctory wishes for an easy time in getting married. By not making a kiddush for your daughter, how many blessings did you deprive her of? I suggest you make your daughter the kiddush that she never had.”

 

The man followed the advice, and sure enough within weeks after the kiddush the girl had met her mate.

 

At the bris (circumcision) of his first son (after ten girls), my uncle, Rabbi Dovid Speigel, the Ostrove-Kalushin Rebbe of Cedarhurst, Long Island, quoted the Ramban (Nachmanides) in this week’s portion.

 

The reason that Hashem was upset at Sora was that even if an Arab nomad gives the blessing, one must be duly vigilant to respond, “Amen.” One never knows the true vehicle of blessing and salvation. Hashem has many conduits and messengers. Some of those messengers’ divinity is inversely proportional to their appearance.

 

What we have to do is wait, listen, and pray that our prospective exalter is the carrier of the true blessing. And then, we have to believe.

 

Quite often, we have ample opportunities to be blessed. Whether it is from the aunt who offers her graces at a family gathering or the simple beggar standing outside a doorway on a freezing winter day, blessings always come our way. Sometimes they come from the co-worker who cheers you on at the end of a long day or the mail carrier who greets you with the perfunctory “have a nice day” as he brings today’s tidings. Each blessing is an opportunity that knocks. And each acknowledgment and look to heaven may open the door to great salvation. The only thing left for us to do is let those blessings in.

 

Good Shabbos.

 

A Hospital Visit

Parshas Vayera

Posted on November 13, 2024 (5785) By Joshua Kruger | Series: Parsha Halacha for the Shabbos Table | Level: Intermediate Beginner

 

The Story:

Another day at school had finished. Sara met her older sister Mia in their usual spot in the school yard. Their Uncle Mendy had just undergone knee surgery that afternoon, and the girls had made plans to visit him.

 

“Ready for our trip?” asked Sara.

 

“Actually” hesitated Mia, “I don’t think it makes sense to go today. I just called the hospital and the nurse said that that Uncle Mendy just fell asleep.”

 

“But I want to do the mitzva of bikkur cholim” protested Sara.

 

“I do too” replied Mia, “but what good is the visit if Uncle Mendy is sleeping? It’s two extra bus rides to travel to the hospital and he won’t even know that we were there. Let’s wait till tomorrow.”

 

“Maybe you’re right” said Sara

 

Discussion:

Q: What connection does our story have with the parsha?

 

A: This week’s parsha begins with the mitzvah of bikkur cholim. We learn the mitzva directly from Hashem, who performs bikkur cholim for Avraham as he recovers from his bris mila (Rashi on Bereishis 18:1).

 

Q: What should the girls do?

 

A: Even if their uncle is sleeping, the mitzva of bikkur cholim still applies. A lot of people think that the term bikkur cholim means “to visit the sick”. Rav Yitzchak Hutner explains that the word “bikkur” actually means to check on the sick person to see how they can be helped (Iggros & Kesavim no. 36). In fact, in Israeli hospitals, the part of the day when the doctors go room to room to check on the patients is called the bikkur. Even if a person is sleeping, we can still check on them to make sure that they are alright. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch writes that this is the critical part of the mitzva (193:3).

 

Another essential part of bikkur cholim is the davening (Chochmas Adam 151:3). Being with the sick person helps us to daven for them with more kavana. Sara and Mia can daven for their uncle anywhere, but it is very special to daven in his room. This is because the shechina is present at bedside of sick people (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:4). These tefilos receive special attention from Hashem.

 

Back to Our Story:

Three bus rides later, the girls arrived at the hospital. They found their Uncle Mendy sleeping comfortably in his room. The girls took their sidurim out of their schoolbags, and quietly recited Tehilim for their uncle.

 

Later, as Mia scanned the room, she noted her uncle’s toothbrush on the floor. “It’s really dirty!

 

There’s a pharmacy next door. Let’s buy Uncle Mendy a new toothbrush”.

 

The next morning Uncle Mendy awoke and was surprised to see a shiny pink toothbrush next to his bed along with a note from Sara and Mia wishing him a refua sheleima.

 

(Written by Josh and Tammy Kruger, in collaboration with Rabbi Yehoshua Pfeffer of the Institute for Dayanim)