A Family

Parshas Bo

Posted on January 7, 2022 (5782) By Rabbi Label Lam | Series: Dvar Torah| Level: Beginner

Speak to the entire community of Israel, saying, “On the tenth of this month, let each one take a lamb for each parental home, a lamb for each household. (Shemos 12:3)

 

And these are the names of the sons of Israel who came to Egypt; with Yaakov, each man and his household came. (Shemos 1:1)

 

The Mitzvah of Chanuka is: A candle for each man and his household! (Shabbos 21B)

 

In his Haggadah, Rav Hirsch ztl. notes that the Jewish People were organized as a household unit when they entered the exile and they were also configured as households at the time of the exodus just as we find ourselves on Pesach ever since- not in a stadium but rather at home!

 

On Chanukah too, we rally around the Menorah as a household. The survival of the Jewish People and all civilization, as well, is dependent on the welfare of the family!

 

About the importance of the home as a primary survival unit he writes: “To inherit a home and to build a home – this encompasses a Jew’s ethical vocation on earth. Is it not the sine qua non for the hopes and perfection of all nations? If only this great Magna Carta were consulted wherever education and culture, peace and salvation of men and mankind are discussed. For the fate of men, their success or failure, is decided neither in the chambers of rulers nor on the battlefield. It is not decided in business concerns, in colleges and institutions of arts and sciences or in houses of worship. It is sealed only in one place, in the parental home…

 

There exists no substitute for the home, and if one is looking elsewhere for the source of peace and prosperity, he is searching in vain. All of a nations politics and diplomacy, its theories of national economy and institutions for mass education, its trade and industry, its schools and community centers – none of these will save the people from extinction if they let the parental home become a parody. Are children born for the sake of the state’s false concern instead of the warm love of parents? Does the census show ever-growing numbers of children without parents and parents without children? Does the nation’s high society make a mockery of morality and modesty? If so, then all the palaces it is building are founded on quicksand.”

 

Many years ago, now, my oldest son was just returning from learning in Israel. He was ripe and ready for Shiduchim and we had a stack of resumes of wonderful prospects. My wife and I kept shuffling the papers and as we did we found ourselves getting more confused. This is obviously an important life decision. Every resume, which is admittedly a woefully deficient and two-dimensional representation of a complete person, looked interesting and inviting for different reasons. We could not figure out what was really important. Head of GO, valedictorian, wealthy father, a famous family name, beauty, a good job, a brilliant academic career, which factor or combinations of factors should be attracting our attention.

 

We decided to call our Rebbe. At that time, he had married off 13 of his 14 children and shortly afterwards the 14th as well. He learns 60 Daf of Gemora every day for more than 50 years and we were thinking that perhaps, just perhaps he might have an extra insight or some real-life experience to help us navigate this confusing process. So, one evening we secluded ourselves in a quiet room and made the phone call. He was in Florida at the time convalescing from a shoulder injury. He picked up the phone and greeted me enthusiastically and I told him that I am here with my wife listening and we are trying to figure out what to look for in a Shidduch. My wife sat poised with her pen ready to start writing every word he would utter.

 

There wasn’t a moment of hesitation and he said the following, “A family! A girl comes from a family!

 

Look for a family!” My wife was just beginning to transcribe and then he said something very surprising. He said, “Good night!” and the call ended. I was about to ask if there is anything else or what about a family, but the call was over. My wife asked, “Did we fumble the call?” I told her, “I don’t think so! He said ‘Good night!’”

 

We sat there in stunned silence. All he said was, “Look for a family!” Then it dawned on us that if that’s all he mentioned, then that must be the most important factor. A girl comes from a family! A boy comes from a family! Together they will build a new family. Therefore, the most important thing must be a family!

 

Choose Light

Parshas Bo

Posted on January 25, 2023 (5783) By Rabbi Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner

What is the worst calamity that can befall a person? What agonies are the most difficult to endure? To find the answer, we need only look at the plagues that afflicted the Egyptians when they refuse to let the Jewish people out of bondage.

 

The Ten Plagues were designed to break down the stubborn resistance of Pharaoh and the Egyptians. Each successive plague turned up the pressure another notch or two higher, until Pharaoh, no longer bear the pain, finally capitulated. The final and most crushing blow was the death of the firstborn. The runner-up in sheer torture was the ninth plague, which enveloped Egypt in such a dense, palpable darkness that all the people were completely immobilized. The agony of a prisoner in solitary confinement does not compare to the living death that gripped the benighted Egyptians.

 

While all the Egyptians were trapped in the darkness, life for the Jewish people continued as usual. As with all the other plagues, they were completely impervious to the effects of the catastrophes to which Egypt was being subjected. And yet, the Torah tells us that during the plague of darkness “the Jewish people had light in all their dwelling places.” Why was it necessary to tell us that the Jewish people were unaffected by the darkness? Furthermore, what is the significance of their having light in “their dwelling places”? Surely, they enjoyed light wherever they were.

 

Earlier in Genesis (28:10), we read that “Jacob departed from Beersheba and went to Harran.” The Midrash observes that the Torah finds it appropriate to mention his point of departure in addition to his destination point. This teaches us that “when a righteous person is in a city he represents its glory, light and beauty, and when he departs, its glory, light and beauty are removed.” What is the significance of this redundant language?

 

The commentators explain that all too often we do not appreciate what we have until we lose it. When do people realize that the righteous person is the glory of his city? When he departs and the glory is removed.

 

In Egypt as well, the Jewish people did not appreciate fully the wonderful gift of light until the plague of darkness struck Egypt. Watching the Egyptians immobilized by the darkness, they were suddenly extremely grateful that they had light to illuminate their lives.

 

On a more mystical level, the commentators see darkness and light as metaphors for the Egyptian and Jewish cultures. Egyptian society, steeped in superstition, magic and idolatry, was blind to the Presence of the Creator in the world. It was a place of darkness. The plague of darkness tapped into the Egyptian way of life and produced a physical manifestation of the spiritual darkness. And the severity of the plague was clear proof of the extent to which the spiritual light had been extinguished in Egypt. The absence of spirituality immobilizes a person and prevents him from moving forward.

 

When the Jewish people perceived the spiritual blight of the Egyptians, they recognized the Presence of the Creator in every grain of sand, every blade of grass, and this profound faith illuminated their world. The purity of life in “the Jewish dwellings,” therefore, shone with a transcendent light that reflected the inner spirituality of the Jewish people.

 

A young student was sitting in the back of the classroom and daydreaming. At the front of the room, the teacher was explaining the intricacies of a difficult subject, but the student paid no attention. He was lost in the faraway world of his imagination.

 

Suddenly, he heard another student speaking loudly and disrupting the class. The teacher asked the troublemaker to be quiet, but to no avail.

 

The daydreamer’s interest was piqued. He ears perked up, attuned to every word that transpired in the classroom. He listened to the teacher trying to convey important ideas, and he listened with revulsion as the troublemaker blotted out the teacher’s words with his disrespectful noise.

 

How foolish I’ve been, thought the daydreamer. My teacher is telling us such important things, and I wasn’t paying attention. Unfortunately, it took the troublemaker’s antics to make me aware of what I was missing.

 

In our own lives, we sometimes become so caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life that we lose sight of the deeper truths of life, of a sense of which things that are important and which are not. But then when we see the extreme degradation of the society in which we live, we are snapped back to reality and regain our innate appreciation for Jewish values and ideals.

 

It is better, of course, never to lose sight in the first place, not to wait for the darkness of others to inspire us to choose light.

 

Text Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.

 

What is Normal Life?

Parshas Bo

Posted on January 22, 2021 (5781) By Mordechai Dixler | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner

The current global upheaval due to the raging pandemic, combined with political upheaval, has made us all unsettled; many are even broken and in despair. We all ask, “When will life return to normal?” The Exodus story, which we read about in the Torah portion this week, teaches us a fundamental lesson to help us frame these events and cope with the unexpected twists and turns.

 

The ten plagues were an attack on the Egyptian nation and the natural world order. They demonstrated G-d’s authority and control over all elements of nature. Ultimately, they forced the leader of the civilized world, Pharaoh, a man who made himself a god, into submission. The Al-mighty stripped Pharaoh of his false sense of control over his world, to the point that he begged his Jewish slaves to leave Egypt after the final plague, the Plague of the Firstborn.

 

The Torah portion ends with a selection of Commandments: donning Tefillin (phylacteries), the recounting of the Exodus on Passover, and redeeming the firstborn – all reminders for future generations of the Exodus. The Mitzvos of keeping the Sabbath and observing the Jewish holidays also serve as a reminder of the Exodus, as is reflected in the liturgy recited on those days. The Exodus demonstrated G-d’s dominion over the world, and these Mitzvos, many of them daily, and weekly, would ensure the Jewish people never forget.

 

The message of the Exodus is simple but easily forgotten. Whatever your opinion is of mass media, there’s one thing we can all agree on – its failure to express the hand of G-d of world events. Yet, the fact remains –  G-d is in charge.

 

With the current rollout of the vaccine, and governmental changes, there’s the potential for our own Exodus from this upheaval and a return to normalcy. But times of upheaval, times when G-d’s presence is more obvious, remind us that “normal life” must still have that same awareness of G-d’s constant involvement in public and private affairs. Adam, the first man, was fully aware of G-d in his life, and the actions of man that followed muddled that reality through the generations that would follow. The lessons of the Exodus were a “reset” for the world, allowing all to see the reality of G-d’s involvement once again. That’s what a return to normalcy looks like – a return to the normalcy of Adam’s freshly minted world.

 

We all crave the return to the comfort of how things used to be, but our souls will only find true comfort with the knowledge of our Creator’s constant presence in our lives. I do hope life returns to normal soon. It is also my hope and prayer, that we listen to the lessons of the Exodus, and the feelings of our soul, to recognize “normal life” as it was meant to be. (Based on Ramban Ex. 13:16).