Seeing
Through the Cover
Parshas Chayei
Sarah
Posted on October 25, 2021 (5782) By Rabbi
Shlomo Jarcaig | Series: Kol
HaKollel | Level: Beginner
Eliezer, our forefather
Avraham’s faithful servant, was dispatched to find a wife for his master’s son,
Yitzchak (Isaac). He decided to test the candidate to determine if she
possessed the character needed by the one who would marry Yitzchak. “And he said,
‘Hashem, G-d of my master Avraham…Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall
say, “Please tip over your jug so I may drink,” and who replies, “Drink, and I
will even water your camels,” she will you have designated for Your servant,
for Yitzchak.'” (Beraishis/Genesis 24:12-14)
Bais HaLevi (biblical
commentary of Rabbi Yosef Dov HaLevi Soloveitchik (1820-1892), Rosh
HaYeshiva/Dean in Volozhin and later Rabbi of Slutzk and Brisk; considered one
of the most brilliant Talmudists of the 19th century) explains that Eliezer’s asking Rivka (Rebecca) for water not
only tested her kindness to strangers, but also demonstrated her intelligence
and sensitivity to the feelings of others. Not knowing Eliezer’s hygiene or
state of health, what would she do with the leftover water? If she took it
home, that would indicate a lack of aptitude. If she would pour the water out
onto the ground, surely the stranger would understand and be embarrassed. A
sensitive, intelligent person would offer the remaining water to the animals. Rivka
demonstrated an even greater level of kindness than expected by giving all of
the animals drink until they were satiated.
When Eliezer determined
that she was the desired candidate and offered a proposal of marriage, her
family protested her imminent departure, seeking a delay. Asked what she
desired, Rivka responded, “I will go” (24:58), upon which Rashi comments, “Of
my own will, even if you do not agree.” How could Rivka, who had just
demonstrated her intelligence and sensitivity, so swiftly reject the security
of family and home to marry Yitzchak, whom she had never met before? How was
she so certain that he was the person with whom she wanted to spend the rest of
her life, that he was of appropriate character to be her life’s partner and to
share in raising their children?
Rabbi Shlomo Morgenstern
(Rosh HaYeshiva, Bais Medrash L’Torah of Skokie, Illinois) clarifies that much
can be learned about a person from by how they view others. As Avraham’s niece,
Rivka knew that his family was wealthy and prestigious. The influence and
impact of this family on world events was renowned. Ostensibly, Yitzchak could
have married whomever he wanted, but he did not pursue wealth or physical
beauty, as many others in his situation would have done. Rather, he sought someone
with kindness and sensitivity. If these were the traits Yitzchak valued, then
she had no question that he was ideal for her.
It has been said that
money can’t buy happiness. G-d gives us the gifts of all things physical –
money, food, shelter, a body – as facilitators for our spiritual growth, as
vehicles and utensils with which we foster our G-d consciousness. We use them
for tzedaka (charity), for chesed (acts of kindness), for our own sustenance so
we can perform other mitzvos (Divine commandments). Viewing the world through
this prism, we strive to emulate our forbearers, who saw and valued others not
for what they owned or how they looked, but for whom they truly were.
Have a Good Shabbos!
Copyright © 2002
by Rabbi
Pinchas Avruch and Project Genesis, Inc.
Kol HaKollel is a
publication of the Milwaukee Kollel Center for Jewish Studies 5007 West Keefe
Avenue; Milwaukee, Wisconsin; 414-447-7999
Character,
Bedrock of the Personality
Parshas Chayei
Sarah
Posted on November 20, 2019 (5780) By Rabbi
Shlomo Jarcaig | Series: Kol
HaKollel | Level: Beginner
Our Patriarch Avraham is
acknowledged as one of the foremost servants of G-d in history. He spread the
concept of monotheism throughout the world and dedicated his life to connecting
mankind with the Creator of the Universe. As the divinely designated heir to
this legacy, his son Yitzchak (Isaac) and his descendants would receive the
Torah and lead the world to its ultimate purpose. Thus, finding the ideal mate
for Yitzchak was vital.
Avraham, perplexingly,
intentionally overlooked the many hundreds of people in whom he had invested so
much time and energy, those he and Sarah themselves had drawn close to G-d.
Undoubtedly, many of them achieved high levels in their spiritual quest to
appreciate G-d’s ultimate dominion over the world and its innumerable
concurrent functions. The daughter of his faithful and learned servant Eliezer
was an obvious candidate to be Yitzchak’s mate, but was rejected because of her
Canaanite heritage. Instead, Avraham opted to find an unknown woman from his
homeland of Ur Kasdim, choosing to find the ideal mate from an area populated
by idol worshippers rather than selecting from the families of his finest
students.
Even more curious is the
process in which Rivka, Yitzchak’s ultimate bride, was chosen. As she drew
water for her family, Eliezer, a stranger to Rivka acting as Avraham’s
messenger, requested she provide his entourage with water. If she would provide
them and their camels with their needed water, this would be a sign from G-d
that she was the one destined to marry Yitzchak. While this test was indicative
of her kind nature, it revealed nothing about her ideology. Why was there a
concern with her character but no apparent concern if she was an idol
worshipper, atheist, or a follower of any of the false ideologies Avraham
dedicated his life to eradicating?
Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian
(1876-1976; disseminator of Torah and mussar (ethics) for over 70 years in
Lithuania, England and Israel; some of his thoughts are collected in the two
volume Lev Eliyahu) explains that Avraham’s priorities for Yitzchak’s spouse
offer a deeper insight into service of G-d. The import of fear and awe of G-d is primary, but good midos
(character traits, moral fiber) are the essential foundation on which this
reverence is built. A person with the
proper midos who lacks the fear of G-d needs only to be taught the fallacy of
his outlook. When he/she appreciates his error and resolves to change he can
quickly accomplish and grow in divine service. Conversely, a person with coarse
midos, even with the comprehension that his weaknesses need to be addressed,
can work an entire lifetime to change and still not succeed.
Avraham was living in the
land of Canaan, surrounded by the descendants of Canaan who, a few Torah
portions ago, were cursed by their grandfather Noah. The bad midos Canaan and
his father, Ham, exhibited disgraced Noah after the flood. Avraham’s knowledge
of human nature dictated that children generally inculcate the attributes of
their parents. Despite the fact that his students were G-d fearing individuals
– he himself had trained them – they were not fit to be a match for Yitzchak.
He had no choice but to search for a match from the descendants of his
grandfather, Ham’s brother, Shem. In contrast to Ham and Canaan, Noah blessed
Shem because of his concern for their father’s honor. Avraham, as Shem’s
progeny, had his grandfather’s strength of character, and he correctly surmised
that another descendent of Shem would be the ideal mate for Yitzchak.
Overlooking all of his followers and searching elsewhere to find Yitzchak’s
match, Avraham taught us a most basic precept in the service of G-d: Derech eretz
kadma leTorah, an existence dedicated to living and learning Torah can only
be built on the bedrock of strong character.
Have a good Shabbos!
Copyright © 2001
by Rabbi
Pinchas Avruch and Project Genesis, Inc.
Kol HaKollel is a
publication of the Milwaukee Kollel Center for Jewish Studies 5007 West Keefe
Avenue; Milwaukee, Wisconsin; 414-447-7999
Take My
Money, Please!
Parshas Chayei
Sarah
Posted on November 11, 2020 (5781) By Rabbi
Mordechai Kamenetzky | Series: Drasha | Level: Beginner
The stories of Sefer
Braishis are the guideposts of morality for the Jewish nation. They teach us
ethics and guide our character. Sometimes we can even apply their lessons to
teach us even the simple and practical ways of the world. This week we can
even learn a little business acumen from our forefather, Avraham.
In this week’s portion,
Avraham sets out to find a burial site for his wife, Sora. He approaches the
children of Ches and asks to meet Ephron, who sanctimoniously offers any plot
of land and benevolently offers it for nothing.
Avraham does not jump at
the offer, but immediately declares that he is ready to pay top dollar: in
fact, even before Ephron uses the words, “behold I have given it to you,”
Avraham responds, “I have given you the money! Take it from me! And now allow
me to bury my dead.”
Then, in a quick
turnabout, Ephron announces an exorbitant price which Avraham, without
bargaining or negotiating, pays immediately.
The entire transaction is
strange. Despite Ephron’s generous overtures, it seems that Avraham is throwing
the money at him in an effort to consummate the deal. And the minute a price is
mentioned, exorbitant as it may be, Avraham pays it without further question.
All it seems is that he wanted to close the deal and leave. Why?
Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz,
the Bostoner Rebbe of Lawrence, NY once told me this wonderful anecdote:
The Ponovezer Rav, Rabbi Yosef
Kahanemen zt”l, was one of the foremost builders of Torah in the post-war era.
He was also a remarkable fund-raiser. Once he was welcomed into the home of a
wealthy individual who was more interested in discussing Torah with him than
giving money to the Ponevezer Yeshiva. Every time the Rav would talk about the
donating for the construction of the new building, the man would begin to
expound on a different Torah topic. Finally, Rav Kahaneman told him the
following story:
A woman in Poland had a
daughter who was well past her prime. The matchmaker suggested that she alter
her passport and claim she was much younger than her true age. He explained
that he knew a Polish passport official, who, for the right price, could make
her any age she would like.
The official met the woman
and then looked at the girl. “Oh, this is not a major problem. I am sure that
there must have been an error in processing the original document. Of course,
we can rectify this most egregious error. In fact, for a small service fee of
500 zloty I can take seven years off the date on her birth certificate, and we
can have her at 21 years old!”
Despite the steep service
charge, the mother heartily agreed and quickly took the money from her purse.
Feeling that there were many more zloty from where the first 500 came from the
officer held up his hand. “You know what,” he smiled devilishly, “maybe there
was a bigger error than we actually had thought! Actually, for 700 zloty I
could make her 20 years old!”
Reluctantly, the mother
agreed and went to her purse for more zloty. At that point, the officer began
to get quite greedy. “You know, he said, for an additional 300 zloty, I could
even have her at 18!”
The mother became very
nervous. Quickly she handed over the 700 zloty and yelled, “No, thank you. 20
years old is fine!” She grabbed her daughter. “Quick,” she shouted, “let’s get
out of here! Soon we will be left with no more zloty and no more years!”
The Rav’s message struck
its mark. The man stopped his Torah-filled filibuster and handed over a sizable
check.
Avraham knew his
negotiating partner well. He understood that the longer Ephron would wait, the
more time Sora would lie in state, and the more expensive the transaction would
become. As soon as he heard the false graciousness of Ephron, Avraham
immediately told him that he would pay full price – on one condition. Take the
money and give me the plot. He understood when it was time to do what had to be
done and move on. He was not interested in prolonging negotiations that
would only leave him without money and perhaps without land. Often it is worthwhile
to take a hit and leave, because the pain of the moment is far less than the
agony of insincerity.
Dedicated to our son Roy Zeev Abraham in honor of his Bar Mitzvah.
May he continue the cherished tradition that has been handed down to us by our
parents, parents’ parents’ all the way back to the patriarchs.
By Mr. and Mrs. David Abraham
Good Shabbos!
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