A Measured Approach to Change

Parshas Ki Seitzei

Posted on September 9, 2022 (5782) By Mordechai Dixler | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner

Moshe (Moses) continues to enumerate in Ki Seitzei, this week’s Torah portion, the many Mitzvos (commandments) G-d gave to the Jewish people. This portion actually has the largest listing of Mitzvos of any weekly Torah reading — 74 in total.

 

Among these is the prohibition of doing business with, and even owning, faulty weights and scales. The prohibition to steal another’s property is well known (See Lev. 19:11), of course, and using inaccurate weights would seem to be just another form of stealing. However, when the Torah describes the specific prohibition of faulty weights, it goes out of its way to explicitly condemn the practice saying, “All who do these things are an abomination to G-d — all who do falsehood. (Deut. 25:16)” General theft, as severe as it is, does not carry this harsh condemnation. What is it about faulty weights that warrants this language?

 

To understand this, we should ask ourselves: how much money is stolen when a person uses a false weight? In order to fool customers, he or she would only adjust the scales slightly, so as not to raise suspicion. One would probably offset the weight by no more than 10%. So, if the person were selling apples for $1 per pound, but set the scale so that a “pound” was really only 9/10 of a pound, all they’ve pilfered is 10 cents per pound. Is 10 cents such a severe crime?

No, ten cents is not a huge act of theft—but that is only one purchase, of one pound of apples. After ten purchases, it’s a dollar. After a day, it’s well over $10. After a year, it’s thousands of dollars.

 

The crime of false weights and measures is so abominable because it is not simply the result of a one-time temptation. It takes obvious premeditation to alter the scales, and to decide, each and every day, to open up your shop with false weights, every sale a small act of theft. It is this unrepentant, ongoing engagement in crime that warrants the Torah’s severe condemnation.

 

We know that the reward for good deeds is greater than the punishment of bad ones. So if such is the condemnation of a persistent evil practice, one can imagine the effusive praise for one continually engaged in Mitzvos! It’s for this reason that when we seek to make positive changes in our life, its so important to undertake a small, repeating commitment. This is known in Jewish tradition as a “Kabola,” a pledge. To make real change in your life, commit to a positive practice, like giving money to charity, or offering a compliment to someone, and pledge to do it every day. I know a young man who gives 5 cents to charity every day. That’s not very much, but it requires forethought, and persistence, and it trains him every day to think about other people.

 

It’s a small investment, that adds up to not only $1000 over 50 years, but it ultimately changes his personality, and he is more likely to give of himself when called upon for greater sacrifice.

 

As Rosh Hashana approaches, we look to make lasting changes in our lives. Let’s avoid the end of the year rush and make a small daily pledge. It amounts to a daily decision to do a special Mitzvah, and the benefits that accrue will bring overwhelming rewards. (Based on Be’ar HaParsha, Rav Elimelech Biderman)

 Family Friction

Parshas Ki Seitzei

Posted on September 12, 2019 (5779) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner

This week’s Torah portion deals with many different issues of human behavior and family relations. We are all aware that the relationships between parents and children, as well as between other relatives in the same family are often difficult ones and fraught with potential danger, frustration and even tragedy. People within a family are very capable of disliking and even hating one another despite their biological and social connection. This is because in the basic family structure there exists a bond of love between the members of the family that is natural and quite strong. And any time strong love is present, the possibility of strong hate always lurks in the background.

 

Precisely because children love their parents, they feel justified in holding them to unrealistic standards of behavior and attitude. And since parents often fall short of such absolute perfection, the resentment towards them can become so great as to lead to awful family disputes. Hard statistics reveal that most murders occur between perpetrators and victims who are related or know each other well. These family members have experienced disappointment and often complain of severe mistreatment.

 

There are many current theories as to how to properly raise children and create tranquility and harmony within the family unit. But, as is true in almost all areas of life, one size does not fit all, and it is difficult to fit each separate case into any general rule. Because of this, it is obvious that every family must sort through relationships and affairs individually. Very rarely if ever can any outside source, no matter how wise or professional, solve the problems and workings of the family unit.

 

From the narrative that appears regarding the rebellious son – a narrative that according to one opinion in the Talmud is to be treated only as a metaphor – it is clear that we are being taught that there are instances when no logical or rational solution is present or possible. It is difficult for us in our time, when we have unlocked so many doors regarding the mysteries of science, technology and medicine to have to admit that there are basic human problems that exist within family relationships that we are powerless to solve on our own.

 

Later in the Torah we will read that that there are many hidden things in human life that only Heaven can deal with. We can only do the best that we can, to the extent that we are physically, emotionally and intellectually able. There is no question that this limitation upon our omnipotence is very frustrating especially to modern humans who believe that they are capable of everything.

 

By realizing that paradoxically we can accomplish more than we thought possible in times of difficulty, eventually we know that we must rely upon the G-d that infuses us with life, to help us solve all difficult situations and to accept G-d’s will.

 

Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein