Climbing
Unto Love or Falling into Lust
Parshas Mishpatim
Posted on February 20, 2020 (5780) By Rabbi
Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner
As a
child, whenever I arrived at this week’s Parsha, I recall feeling something of
a letdown. From the beginning of Bereishis, each Parsha had its own riveting
narrative, the various strands culminating with the awesome climax of the
giving of the Torah. Immediately after this climatic event, comes Mishpatim, in
which the drama seems to fizzle out. The Torah shifts its focus to elucidating
the intricate laws of damages, interpersonal relationships and prohibitions
that inform day-to-day Jewish life.
In the coming weeks, the body of technical material grows to even
larger proportions as we are asked to master the detailed instructions
governing the construction of the Mishkan, followed by complex laws concerning
all the various sacrifices brought therein.
It’s difficult for many to move from the compelling narratives of
Beraishis and part of Shemos into the Torah’s technical and legalistic
dimension, following the Divine revelation. A thought occurred to me this week
that might make for a smoother transition into Parshas Mishpatim.
It’s fascinating to read of the extensive preparations that preceded
the Divine revelation at Sinai. And yet, the climax of it all, the shattering,
emotionally charged moment that the world had anxiously awaited for
generations-the giving of the Ten Commandments-was over in a few short minutes.
The Divine presence abruptly departed; the people were then allowed to ascend
the mountain. What an anti climax! “Is that all?” some people may have
wondered, bewildered.
This view, however, obscures what actually took place.
Any relationship of enduring value rests primarily on the quality
and depth of the commitment. A truly meaningful and genuine bond does not need
lengthy, poetic declarations of love to validate it. An encounter with an elderly
couple who have weathered many of life storms together aptly illustrates this
point. Their sensitivity to one another and mutual understanding and commitment
is reflected even in a casual meeting of the eyes.
Words and finite expression tend often to dilute. The ultimate
relationship is one that is forged by a mutual pledge of commitment that will
prevail over any and all of life’s vicissitudes. That can take a brief moment
but it establishes a reality that is meant to stand the test of time. An essential
prerequisite in the building of such a bond is a spiritual and emotional
preparedness nurtured over time.
The Jewish people had prepared for this climatic moment for
generations. The relationship with Hashem took root with the Avos Hakedoshim.
It was tested in Egypt, the crucible of suffering where, as abject slaves, the
people’s ego and identity were humbled – the perfect preparation for an eternal
union with Hashem.
Finally, the ‘moment’ of marriage at Sinai arrives. It only takes a
moment, just as the yichud ceremony constituting the consummation of every
marriage takes but a brief few minutes. But now comes the litmus test that
determines the true value of the marriage, where we demonstrate our willingness
not only to meet our responsibilities to one another, but to discover precisely
what the others’ needs are.
Enter Parsha Mishpatim. The wedding at Sinai was exciting, but
living a ‘real’ married life is far more meaningful. And so, this year when we
open the Chumash to Mishpatim, perhaps we will experience instead of a letdown,
a twinge of excitement.
It sometimes takes a while to detoxify a Hollywood-intoxicated
student who thinks after one date that he has met his bashert. “Rabbi,” he
tells me, “it was love at first sight; I fell in love.” “No you didn’t, ” I
counter, “you fell in lust.”
A true relationship is never one that seems to just descend from the
clear blue sky. It takes a great amount of work to lay the foundation, The true
yardstick of how real the love and devotion are will only be proven over many
years, in the crucible of the arduous, demanding responsibilities that follow.
When we arrive at Parshas Mishpatim the true journey is about to begin.
Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos.
Rabbi Naftali Reich
Text Copyright © 2013 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.
Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanenbaum Education Center.
Parshas Mishpatim
Posted on February 10, 2021 (5781) By Rabbi
Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner
Certain
things in life are given, at least for people reared according to Judaic values
and ideals. Compassion for the weak and downtrodden. Sympathy for those less
fortunate than ourselves. Kindness to the disadvantaged. Hospitality to
strangers. Why then does the Torah, in this week’s portion, find it necessary
to tell us to be kind to converts? Would it occur to anyone to act otherwise to
a newcomer?
Furthermore, why does the Torah go on to tell us to be kind to
converts because we too were “strangers in the land of Egypt”? Do we really
need this rationalization in order to be sensitive to the feelings of a
convert? And if we do a reason to be compassionate, will the experiences of our
ancestors in Egypt many centuries ago really sensitize us to the feelings of
newcomers whom we encounter today?
The commentators explain that the Torah certainly does not expect
people to be so callous as to offend newcomers to Judaism deliberately.
Clearly, these people are going through a very challenging experience, turning
away from the old familiar pattern of their lives and setting out on uncharted
waters. Many aspects of this experience are undoubtedly very traumatic and
disorienting, and we all can be expected to be sympathetic and supportive. The
problem lies elsewhere. Do we really know what the convert is feeling? Do we
truly relate to the turmoil in his heart? Do we have any firsthand knowledge of
the emotional strain, insecurity and loneliness that a newcomer experiences?
Obviously not. How then can we be sensitive to them even if we want to?
Therefore, the Torah reminds us that we ourselves were once
strangers in the land of Egypt, a persecuted minority struggling to survive in
a hostile environment. Our very nationhood was forged in an alien setting, and
the memory is deeply etched into our national consciousness. We need to connect
to that experience in our minds, and in this way, we can revive within
ourselves a hint of the experience of being a stranger in an alien land. Only
in this way can we sensitize ourselves to the turmoil in the newcomer’s heart.
Only in this way can we treat him with true sympathy and friendship.
A wise old rabbi was trudging though the snow-clogged streets of a
little village. Finally, he came to the house of one of the richest men in the
village. He knocked on the door and waited patiently.
A servant opened the door and, seeing the old rabbi, immediately
invited him in. But the rabbi just shook his head and asked to see the master
of the house.
In no time, the rich man came hurrying to the door. “Rabbi, why are
you standing outside?” he wanted to know. “It’s so cold out there. Please come
in where it is warmer.”
“Thank you so much,” said the rabbi, “but I prefer to stay out here.
Can we talk for a moment?”
“Why, certainly, certainly,” said the rich man. He shivered and
pulled his jacket closer about him.
“Well, you see, it’s like this,” the rabbi began. “There are a
number of poor families in this village who don’t have any money – ”
“I’m sorry for interrupting, rabbi,” the rich man said. His teeth
were chattering. “You know I always contribute to the poor and hungry. Why
can’t we talk about this inside? Why do we have to stand out here?”
“Because these people need firewood,” the rabbi explained. “I am
collecting for firewood for poor families.”
“So why can’t we talk inside?” asked the rich man.
“Because I want you to feel what they are feeling,” said the rabbi,
“even if only for a few minutes. Imagine how they must be shivering in their
drafty little houses with the ice-cold furnaces! The more you give me, the more
families will be spared this dreadful cold.”
In our own lives, we often relate to others – children, family
members, friends, associates – by the standards of our own point of view. We
see them through the prism of our own experience. But this does not lend itself
to true sympathy and effective communication. Their attitudes and mindsets are
colored by the nuances of their own characters and experiences and are
therefore vastly different from ours. In order for us to be truly sensitive to
them, we must try to put ourselves in their place. Only then will we be able to
listen with open ears. Only then will we gain an inkling of what they are going
through, of what they really feel inside. Only then can we even begin to
provide the sympathy and support they deserve.
Text
Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.
Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanebaum
Education Center.
Old
Memories
Parshas Mishpatim
Posted on February 10, 2021 (5781) By Rabbi
Naftali Reich | Series: Legacy | Level: Beginner
Certain
things in life are given, at least for people reared according to Judaic values
and ideals. Compassion for the weak and downtrodden. Sympathy for those less
fortunate than ourselves. Kindness to the disadvantaged. Hospitality to
strangers. Why then does the Torah, in this week’s portion, find it necessary
to tell us to be kind to converts? Would it occur to anyone to act otherwise to
a newcomer?
Furthermore, why does the Torah go on to tell us to be kind to
converts because we too were “strangers in the land of Egypt”? Do we really
need this rationalization in order to be sensitive to the feelings of a
convert? And if we do a reason to be compassionate, will the experiences of our
ancestors in Egypt many centuries ago really sensitize us to the feelings of
newcomers whom we encounter today?
The commentators explain that the Torah certainly does not expect
people to be so callous as to offend newcomers to Judaism deliberately.
Clearly, these people are going through a very challenging experience, turning
away from the old familiar pattern of their lives and setting out on uncharted
waters. Many aspects of this experience are undoubtedly very traumatic and
disorienting, and we all can be expected to be sympathetic and supportive. The
problem lies elsewhere. Do we really know what the convert is feeling? Do we
truly relate to the turmoil in his heart? Do we have any firsthand knowledge of
the emotional strain, insecurity and loneliness that a newcomer experiences?
Obviously not. How then can we be sensitive to them even if we want to?
Therefore, the Torah reminds us that we ourselves were once
strangers in the land of Egypt, a persecuted minority struggling to survive in
a hostile environment. Our very nationhood was forged in an alien setting, and
the memory is deeply etched into our national consciousness. We need to connect
to that experience in our minds, and in this way, we can revive within
ourselves a hint of the experience of being a stranger in an alien land. Only
in this way can we sensitize ourselves to the turmoil in the newcomer’s heart.
Only in this way can we treat him with true sympathy and friendship.
A wise old rabbi was trudging though the snow-clogged streets of a
little village. Finally, he came to the house of one of the richest men in the
village. He knocked on the door and waited patiently.
A servant opened the door and, seeing the old rabbi, immediately
invited him in. But the rabbi just shook his head and asked to see the master
of the house.
In no time, the rich man came hurrying to the door. “Rabbi, why are
you standing outside?” he wanted to know. “It’s so cold out there. Please come
in where it is warmer.”
“Thank you so much,” said the rabbi, “but I prefer to stay out here.
Can we talk for a moment?”
“Why, certainly, certainly,” said the rich man. He shivered and
pulled his jacket closer about him.
“Well, you see, it’s like this,” the rabbi began. “There are a
number of poor families in this village who don’t have any money – ”
“I’m sorry for interrupting, rabbi,” the rich man said. His teeth
were chattering. “You know I always contribute to the poor and hungry. Why
can’t we talk about this inside? Why do we have to stand out here?”
“Because these people need firewood,” the rabbi explained. “I am
collecting for firewood for poor families.”
“So why can’t we talk inside?” asked the rich man.
“Because I want you to feel what they are feeling,” said the rabbi,
“even if only for a few minutes. Imagine how they must be shivering in their
drafty little houses with the ice-cold furnaces! The more you give me, the more
families will be spared this dreadful cold.”
In our own lives, we often relate to others – children, family
members, friends, associates – by the standards of our own point of view. We
see them through the prism of our own experience. But this does not lend itself
to true sympathy and effective communication. Their attitudes and mindsets are
colored by the nuances of their own characters and experiences and are
therefore vastly different from ours. In order for us to be truly sensitive to
them, we must try to put ourselves in their place. Only then will we be able to
listen with open ears. Only then will we gain an inkling of what they are going
through, of what they really feel inside. Only then can we even begin to
provide the sympathy and support they deserve.
Text
Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Naftali Reich and Torah.org.
Rabbi Reich is on the faculty of the Ohr Somayach Tanebaum
Education Center.