Character, Bedrock of the Personality

 

 

Posted on November 20, 2019 (5780) By Rabbi Shlomo Jarcaig | Series: Kol HaKollel | Level: Beginner

 

Our Patriarch Avraham is acknowledged as one of the foremost servants of G-d in history. He spread the concept of monotheism throughout the world and dedicated his life to connecting mankind with the Creator of the Universe. As the divinely designated heir to  this legacy, his son Yitzchak (Isaac) and his descendants would receive the Torah and lead the world to its ultimate purpose. Thus, finding the ideal mate for Yitzchak was vital.

Avraham, perplexingly, intentionally overlooked the many hundreds of people in whom he had invested so much time and energy, those he and Sarah themselves had drawn close to G-d. Undoubtedly, many of them achieved high levels in their spiritual quest to appreciate G-d’s ultimate dominion over the world and its innumerable concurrent functions. The daughter of his faithful and learned servant Eliezer was an obvious candidate to be Yitzchak’s mate, but was rejected because of her Canaanite heritage. Instead, Avraham opted to find an unknown woman from his homeland of Ur Kasdim, choosing to find the ideal mate from an area populated by idol worshippers rather than selecting from the families of his finest students. Even more curious is the process in which Rivka, Yitzchak’s

 

ultimate bride, was chosen. As she drew water for her family, Eliezer, a stranger to Rivka acting as Avraham’s messenger, requested she provide his entourage with water. If she would provide them and their camels with their needed water, this would be a sign from G-  d that she was the one destined to marry Yitzchak. While this test was indicative of her     kind nature, it revealed nothing about her ideology. Why was there a concern with her character but no apparent concern if she was an idol worshipper, atheist, or a follower of   any of the false ideologies Avraham dedicated his life to eradicating?

Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian (1876-1976; disseminator of Torah and mussar (ethics) for over 70 years in Lithuania, England and Israel; some of his thoughts are collected in the two    volume Lev Eliyahu) explains that Avraham’s priorities for Yitzchak’s spouse offer a deeper insight into service of G-d. The import of fear and awe of G-d is primary, but good midos (character traits, moral fiber) are the essential foundation on which this reverence is built.   A person with the proper midos who lacks the fear of G-d needs only to be taught the fallacy of his outlook. When he appreciates his error and resolves to change he can quickly accomplish and grow in divine service. Conversely, a person with coarse midos, even with the comprehension that his weaknesses need to be addressed, can work an entire lifetime to change and still not succeed.

Avraham was living in the land of Canaan, surrounded by the descendants of Canaan who,  a few Torah portions ago, were cursed by their grandfather Noah. The bad midos Canaan and his father, Ham, exhibited disgraced Noah after the flood. Avraham’s knowledge of human nature dictated that children generally inculcate the attributes of their parents.

Despite the fact that his students were G-d fearing individuals – he himself had trained them – they were not fit to be a match for Yitzchak. He had no choice but to search for a match from the descendants of his grandfather, Ham’s brother, Shem. In contrast to Ham and Canaan, Noah blessed Shem because of his concern for their father’s honor. Avraham, as Shem’s progeny, had his grandfather’s strength of character, and he correctly surmised that another descendent of Shem would be the ideal mate for Yitzchak. Overlooking all of his followers and searching elsewhere to find Yitzchak’s match, Avraham taught us a most basic precept in the service of G-d: Derech eretz kadma leTorah, an existence dedicated to living and learning Torah can only be built on the bedrock of strong character.

Have a good Shabbos!

Copyright © 2001 by Rabbi Pinchas Avruch and Project Genesis, Inc.

 

Kol HaKollel is a publication of the Milwaukee Kollel Center for Jewish Studies 5007 West Keefe Avenue; Milwaukee, Wisconsin; 414-447-7999

Focus on the Future

Posted on October 31, 2018 (5779) By Rabbi Berel Wein | Series: Rabbi Wein | Level: Beginner   The loss of one’s beloved spouse, especially after many years and decades of marriage and shared life, is always a traumatic and shattering blow. Those of us, who unfortunately have also experienced this occurrence of Avraham’s life in our own lives can testify as to the emotional damage and even physical harm that this sad experience can occasion. We see from the life of our father Jacob that even decades later he reminds his children and himself of the pain and suffering caused by the death of his beloved wife, Rachel. In    essence, it seems that Jacob never again was the same person after the death of Rachel. However, Avraham apparently dealt with the death of Sarah in a more stoic fashion. The Torah itself indicates this by inference, when it wrote concerning Avraham’s reaction to the tragedy by using a small letter kaf in its description of the grief and weeping of Avraham  over the death of Sarah. It is not that Avraham is less grieved at the loss of Sarah then Jacob was at the death of Rachel, It is rather that after all of the challenges and trials that Avraham had already endured, his attitude towards life and its vicissitudes was now always one of looking forward and never dwelling on the past. Those who live exclusively in the past are doomed to self-pity and great emotional angst. This only causes a sense of victimhood and hopelessness. It reflects itself in every aspect of later life and stunts any further spiritual, social, personal or societal growth. The greatness of Avraham, as taught us by the Mishnah, was his resilience and continued spiritual and personal growth. Avraham constantly looked forward – ahead – and never dwelled on past misfortune. I heard an outstanding speech delivered by George Deek, a Christian  Arab  who  is  a member of the Israeli Foreign Office. In telling the story of his life he describes how his family lived in Jaffa for many generations and how they fled to Lebanon during the 1948  War of Independence. Sensing the squalor and political manipulation of the refugees by the Arab powers, whose sole goal was the destruction of Israel and not in saving and resettling the refugees, his grandfather escaped Lebanon and somehow brought the family back to  Jaffa and Israel, regained his job with the Israel Electric Company. He raised generations     of successful professionals, all citizens of Israel. He said that the Jewish refugees from Europe and the Moslem world attempted to forget their past and build a new future for themselves and their descendants when they arrived in Israel. The Palestinian Arab refugees, under the misguided leadership of their spiritual and temporal heads, reveled instead in their past defeats, in their legend of nakba and, in the main, devoted themselves to attempting to destroy Israel rather than rehabilitating themselves. That attitude and mindset has served them badly and cost them dearly. The past needs to  be remembered and recalled, treasured and instructive to us. However, it is the future and what we make of it that ultimately determines our worth and our fate. That is one of the great lessons to be derived from the story of the life of our father Avraham. Shabbat shalom, Rabbi Berel Wein