A Manna
of Perspective
Parshas Behaaloscha
Posted on June 17, 2022 (5782) By Mordechai
Dixler | Series: Lifeline | Level: Beginner
G-d
blessed the Jewish people with the miraculous Manna to collect each morning as
they traveled and camped in the desert. Most, of course, were grateful for this
daily sustenance, literally a gift from Heaven, but many of them complained.
“If only we had meat! We remember the fish we had in Egypt, the vegetables, and
the melons.. All we see now is Manna!”
The verse that follows (Bamidbar 11:7) their gripe makes an unusual
pivot, lauding the uniqueness of the Manna: “The manna was like coriander seed,
it looked like crystal. It tasted like cake, kneaded with oil, and it would
fall every night with the dew. “Why does the narrative suddenly shift from the
complaints against the Manna, to a detailed description of its qualities?
Doris and Beatrice rocked back and forth outside the retirement
home, chatting about their newlywed children. “Doris! Don’t get me started
about my son, Brian. His new wife Amy is so needy. Every day he has to call her
from work, to check up on her. When he gets home, he does whatever he can to
please her. He offers her fruits, snacks. Then he has to entertain her and sit
with her the whole evening, listening to her babble on, keeping her busy with
board games and walks. He never gets a break! But, enough about my troubles..
Doris, how is your daughter Ellen doing?” “Oh, I’m so happy you asked, Beatrice.
Ellen’s dear husband, David, is so considerate – an angel! Every day he calls
from work to see how she’s doing, and when he gets home he only wants to please
her. He offers her fruit, goes for long walks, plays board games… she is so
blessed!”
Rashi (the classic medieval commentary of Rav Shlomo Yitzchaki zt”l)
explains the changing narrative: The Jewish people complained, “All we see is
Manna!” However, at the same time they were complaining, G-d bemoaned the
incident saying, “People of the world! Look at what my children are complaining
about… The Manna was really so special. It was like coriander seeds, crystal…”
What allows people to get frustrated and complain when things don’t
go their way? Most often it stems from a lack of perspective. If we take a
moment to contemplate the blessings we have, we can see our life in the proper
context. How could people blessed with Manna from heaven, desire a return to
Egypt to eat fish and melons? Only because they ignored the blessings of the
unique gift they were given.
If only G-d’s call, “See what my children are complaining about…”
would ring in our ears, if we’d take the time to see in full perspective what
we’re complaining about, the bountiful blessings would break through the
negativity, and transform our thinking to gratitude, contentment and joy. (Based
on Sefer Atara L’Melech, Rav Avraham Pam zt”l).
Encouragement!
Parshas Behaaloscha
Posted on June 16, 2022 (5782) By Rabbi Label
Lam | Series: Dvar
Torah | Level: Beginner
HASHEM
said to Moshe saying, “Speak to Aaron and say to him: When you “light-up” the
lamps, toward the face of the Menorah shall the seven lamps cast light.” Aaron
did so- (Bamidbar 8:1-2)
Aaron did so: To tell the praise of Aaron that he did not change.
(Rashi)
What’s so great that Aaron lit the lights? Anybody could do that!
Why would he do differently than what he understood perfectly what HASHEM had
instructed him to do? If any one of us understood with that level of clarity
what it was that HASHEM wants us to do, would we, could we do otherwise?! So,
what’s the great praise about? He did what he was supposed to do!
Now it is occurring to me that it is not only we who are hearing
about the praise of Aaron for not having deviated from HASHEM’s instructions,
but it is in order to praise Aaron for not changing, to tell the praise of
Aaron to Aaron. Aaron is being praised for doing the right thing. How does that
help? It helps a lot!
I was shown at a Shiva call just last night a moving video clip of
my good friend Shimi who just passed away. There he is in a hospital room in
Israel, hooked up to wires and looking frail. A troubadour of musicians with
guitars are serenading him.
He’s singing along and at one point he even stands up and with great
effort begins dancing with them. Then he starts to tell them what a great thing
they are doing by coming and performing for him.
“Doctors are prescribing all kinds of medicine that we hope will be
effective, but this is the best medicine of all that you are doing here for me
today.” He continues to heap praise on them and thank them in multiple ways,
and he tells them that he is having this little Chizuk session videoed so he
can send it to their families so they can see how much good they are doing.
They were coming to give him courage and strength and he was feeding
them. It was truly amazing! He was truly amazing!
He recognized that everybody needs encouragement, even people who
know that what they are doing is the right thing. Why not!?
The guy sweeping the floor needs encouragement. The gabbai of the
Shul needs encouragement! Teachers need encouragement. Doctors need
encouragement. Principals need encouragement. Husbands need encouragement.
Wives need encouragement. Parents need encouragement. Kids need encouragement.
The Rav of the community needs encouragement. Elderly people need
encouragement. The mailman needs encouragement. The grocer needs encouragement.
The Baal Koreh needs encouragement. The cab driver needs encouragement.
Everybody needs encouragement! Even Aaron HaKohain needs encouragement.
Aaron had been involved incidentally and tangentially in the Chet
HaEgel (the sin of the Golden Calf) and he was feeling embarrassed by all the
pomp and pageantry involved with the inauguration of the Mishkan. He was
assuming that he was excluded because of his association with that cosmic-
national disaster.
When he was called upon to light the Menorah, which would be the
crowning event, he felt woefully unworthy and he was ready to hide behind his
deep sense of shame and excuse himself with good reason. “I am not worthy of
such an honor.” “And Aaron did so…” He did what he was commanded to do. It was
not a small thing and HASHEM, Who reads the heart of men, let Aaron know that,
it wasn’t easy but he did the right thing. Even people who know they are doing
the right thing need words of encouragement. Certainly, people who have doubts
about themselves need encouragement.
I saw a phrase like this and I believe it describes all of us; “I
can be both a masterpiece and a work in progress!” The “masterpiece” part of us
is need of being recognized. We cannot demand that attention but since we
recognize the need, we might as well identify it in others. The
“work in progress” part of us is in constant need of encouragement. We cannot
command it, but since we recognize the need, we might as well give as much as
we can to others, encouragement!
The Flame of Independence
Parshas Behaaloscha
Posted on June 17, 2022 (5782) By Rabbi Berel
Wein | Series: Rabbi
Wein | Level: Beginner
One of
the tasks of the Priests in the Tabernacle and in the Temple was the rekindling
of the great Candelabra on a daily basis. We are taught in this week’s Torah
reading that the Priest had to keep the flame, with which he was lighting the
wicks of the lamps, next to those wicks until the lamp wick caught hold and was
able to burn by itself. Over the ages, this has become the metaphor for
Jewish parenting – for Jewish education itself. The parent or the teacher
is responsible for the child or the student, just as the Priest was responsible
for the wicks until they were lit.
The task of the parent/teacher is that the child/student will
sustain himself or herself spiritually, socially, financially, and psychologically,
after having been given the necessary life tools. I was a child at a time when
children were considered adults by the time they reached puberty and their
teenage years. However, in our more modern era childhood extends far beyond
even the teenage years. Many children and students do not achieve any sort of
true independence until they are well into their twenties, and sometimes even
later than that.
The question then arises: is the responsibility of the
parent/teacher open ended, i.e., does it remain, no matter how long it takes
for the child or the student to truly become independent? Is the parent/teacher
still on the hook, so to speak, to provide aid, sustenance, financial support
and means for survival? Since it is not clear to us when the flame of
independence and self-sufficiency is truly able to burn on its own, there
arises a situation where the obligations of the parent, the educational system
and even of society generally appears to remain unlimited. This type of
dependency eventually becomes self-destructive, and certainly cannot be what
the Torah had in mind for the Jewish family and the Jewish society.
The goal of parenting and of education is to produce people who are
well-balanced, to provide their child/student – the next generation, with the
necessary tools for self-reliance and independence of thought and action. There
is a window of time for such an opportunity. In my opinion, that window closes
quickly as time progresses. The options remaining in life for someone in their
30s or 40s are far fewer than the options that existed when they were in their
20’s.
Keeping the outside flame on the wick of the lamp of the candelabra
for too long does not enhance the flame nor will it light the candelabra.
Rather, it creates a situation of danger, containing too much fire, and is
counterproductive in its purpose of lighting the lamps of the candelabra
itself. So, too, a wise parent and/or a devoted teacher will eventually see the
productivity of removing that outside fire and letting the wick burn on its
own, to radiate its own life. Every human being is unique and holy. Every human
being is entitled to its own lamp and light.
Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Berel Wein
